dredg

I've been a heavy drinker for the past 13 years. This past year has been pretty bad with my drinking. I hide a lot of my drinking from my wife and family. I have also had night sweats after several big binges which was pretty scary to me. I have, however, accelled in other areas in my life this past year (new job as an engineer and graduated with my second degree). I know I have a problem and I have started taking antabuse but know this isn't enough.

I keep talking myself out of meetings. I have listened to about 100 AA speaker tape recordings and these have helped a bit. They have also discouraged me because a lot of these speakers have had some pretty drastic, dramatic and horrible things happen in their lives. I can't really relate because I'm pretty much a non-dramatic normal guy (except for the drinking). It almost seems like a lot of boasting about who did the worst thing when drinking and who had the most messed up life when a they were a drunk.

This doesn't really help me. I am also a really private person and fear letting a large group of people know about my problems in person.

I guess my question is to those who have successfully quit. What was your main motivation for quiting and what helped you the most? Meetings? One on one counceling?

Just getting a game plan together and need some advice.

Thanks

DREDG

suki44883

Meetings won't keep you sober. Finding a sponsor and working the steps can keep you sober. Meetings aren't the AA program, working the steps is. There are other programs available like AVRT, Smart Recovery, Rational Recovery, etc. You can google them. The most important part of the whole thing though is your determination. Recovery is possible, but you have to be willing to do the work.

scrambled2012

Consider, my friend, all you have to lose.

wheresthefun

Deciding to become a non-drinker.

Purplecatlover

Deciding to not let alcohol control my life anymore. Getting mad as hell at it, that it had such a grip on me.
Being sober is the most important thing in my life.

langkah

Was in the same boat countless times. Deciding I'd do this or try that, hoping this would be enough or I could find the right outlook or book and be done with it. Not sure how many times I looked for a quick and easy way, but over the course of 9 years I tried everything that occurred to me.

Hope you soon find a path you're willing to try. Whatever it may turn out to be at least it's a beginning point for you.

davidf938

I also dread groups and talking to strangers. If meetings make you uncomfortable, don't go! There are alternatives such as this forum. Here, you are truely anonymous. You don't have to worry about someone coming up to you in public and telling everyone in earshot that you were seen at a meeting for alcohol abusers. I know they are not supposed to do this, but it still happens a lot. You can choose what stories you want to read. I used the Jude Thaddeus home study program to get sober. You might look them up on the internet. I was a daily closet drunk for 30 years. Feb. 25 will mark 3 years of sobriety without a single AA meeting. AA is a program for alcohol abusers, but not the only program. There is one out there for you.

CaiHong

Hi Dredg,
I have been sober for 8 months with the help of AA and this forum and also listening to Revoverybroadcast.

Even though I consider myself a member of AA, I really don,t get a lot out of the speaker meetings as much as I get out of the BB and traditions meetings.
I like to hear about the nuts and bolts about getting and staying sober.

I like the idea of sitting in a room with other alcoholics and feeling the fellowship and the genuine concern with each others sobriety as there is on this forum.

In AA I have learnt to let go and allow my HP to take over and this is working for me.

I hope you find what works for you

CaiHong

dawnrunner

I did an excellent outpatient rehab program to which I was referred by a confidential counselor from my employer. We have access to 'quick-visit' counseling with no questions asked, and I discussed my life issues with this person who casually asked about substance abuse. For some reason I did not lie to him. He looked a little like Santa Claus so maybe that's what got me.

Anyway it was 6 weeks, worked around my job schedule, involved 1-to-1 counseling and group work. It was a life-saver. At the end my group and I went to our first AA meeting together, so that wasn't so scary.

For those who just quit out of determination, my hat is off to them; I needed more and partly it was that I needed to realize how serious my problem was. The phrase "lonely early death" was used by our counselor only three times but I remember it burned into my brain.

I wish you success, health, and strength; keep posting.

Dee74

Welcome to SR Dredg

You'll find a lot of different methods being used here - I encourage you top look around and follow up on those approaches you feel speak to you

There's many different approaches and methods of recovery around - here's some links to some of the main players:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html

I recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach.

The main thing tho - whatever you decide to do - is do something.

Researching recovery methods and reading books, listening to speaker tapes is beneficial - but it's not always the same as action, in my experience.

D