At War with Myself
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
Welcome wonderland 
Your story resonates with me - I remember being in a similar position.
SR really helped me turn my life around - I know you can find the help here to do the same
I recommend you also visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach
Apologies for any connection issues - we're having a few site problems at the moment - we have so many people here nowadays our server is struggling.
We're working on it and we're asking for everyone's patience
D
Your story resonates with me - I remember being in a similar position.
SR really helped me turn my life around - I know you can find the help here to do the same
I recommend you also visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach
Apologies for any connection issues - we're having a few site problems at the moment - we have so many people here nowadays our server is struggling.
We're working on it and we're asking for everyone's patience
D
Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,071
Originally Posted by Wonderland 
I have lost two family members due to alcoholism, and several have developed cancer and emphysema due to smoking. I know this will be my fate, as well, if I don't stop drinking eight beers [I]every single nigh[I] and smoke a pack and a half of cigarettes during these nightly booze-sessions. My husband and I do this together. We commiserate, we, play music, we laugh together, or we get into vicious shouting matches.
We are in deep debt, both employed in dead-end jobs that don't make use of our advanced degrees. Our health is failing. Our apartment is dirty, dishes neglected, floor un-mopped, because we're too busy drinking all night to clean up. We don't have any energy.
Our creativity is suffering. I can't get my brain/ brain chemistry to accept the fact that the world is just going to have to be brutally stark for a while, without the booze.
I have quit smoking and drinking for long periods of time before, but relapsed due to my overwhelming anxiety over EVERYTHING.
I hope this forum can help me change my brain. No more cigs. No more booze binging. I would just like to be comfortable in my own skin
We are in deep debt, both employed in dead-end jobs that don't make use of our advanced degrees. Our health is failing. Our apartment is dirty, dishes neglected, floor un-mopped, because we're too busy drinking all night to clean up. We don't have any energy.
Our creativity is suffering. I can't get my brain/ brain chemistry to accept the fact that the world is just going to have to be brutally stark for a while, without the booze.
I have quit smoking and drinking for long periods of time before, but relapsed due to my overwhelming anxiety over EVERYTHING.
I hope this forum can help me change my brain. No more cigs. No more booze binging. I would just like to be comfortable in my own skin
Adventures In SpaceTime
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
Originally Posted by Wonderland
yes, both of my internet browsers do not like uploading posts from this site. The connection on the site keeps timing out and I have to refresh and try to re-post. Any way to fix this?
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome Wonderland!
I was scared and depressed when I found this forum, knowing I had to get sober but still wanting that drink all the time. The first days weren't easy but I got through it, thanks to SR. Things really will get better. I know you'll get the same support and inspiration here that I did.
Glad you're here!
I was scared and depressed when I found this forum, knowing I had to get sober but still wanting that drink all the time. The first days weren't easy but I got through it, thanks to SR. Things really will get better. I know you'll get the same support and inspiration here that I did.
Glad you're here!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,550
I wonder whether it would help your morale if you and your spouse started to clean things in the apartment up a bit, do some of this day by day and this might help you have a little sunlight in your life and hope for the future. In a way, the state of your apartment might be a metaphor for the life you've been living. Why not change the metaphor now? Wash the dishes, clean the floor, spruce the place up a little! Say that this is a new beginning, both for your apartment and for yourselves! Good luck!
W.
W.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 63
Do you know...
Do you all know of anyone who has left this forum, because they felt that they were able to return to moderate drinking? Has anyone left because they felt that they had recovered, and retain that they will stay abstinent? I notice that there are many members of this forum that have been on here for years, or that their quit date was a decade or more ago.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Originally Posted by Wonderland
Do you all know of anyone who has left this forum, because they felt that they were able to return to moderate drinking? Has anyone left because they felt that they had recovered, and retain that they will stay abstinent? I notice that there are many members of this forum that have been on here for years, or that their quit date was a decade or more ago.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 63
I'm doing great today, actually, thanks! Had a lovely coffee chat with my photographer friend, and she bought two of my paintings, for way more than the agreed upon price. Her kindness made me feel good, and I'm inspired to paint another piece! But, tonight, free tickets to a hockey game!! Yay!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Originally Posted by Wonderland
I'm doing great today, actually, thanks! Had a lovely coffee chat with my photographer friend, and she bought two of my paintings, for way more than the agreed upon price. Her kindness made me feel good, and I'm inspired to paint another piece! But, tonight, free tickets to a hockey game!! Yay!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
Do you all know of anyone who has left this forum, because they felt that they were able to return to moderate drinking? Has anyone left because they felt that they had recovered, and retain that they will stay abstinent? I notice that there are many members of this forum that have been on here for years, or that their quit date was a decade or more ago.
Long term members are really the exception - but some of us stay because we like it
For me, I love this place - I like to help others where I can and I still get a lot out of being here.
As for those who've left to return to 'successful drinking' though - I can honestly say I can't remember anyone Wonderland.
That may be because they haven't come back to announce that...but I do know many people who've tried, not been successful with moderation, and have come back.
I think, when we drink like we did, there's an invisible line we cross from being normal drinkers to abnormal ones - I believe once we cross that line there's no going back.
D
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