I have no strength
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 746
Dee74
Thank you. When you said that you stayed away from parties for a few months. How many??? 2,6,9?
The thought: I will never drink again! Why is it killing me so much??? Why can't I accept it?
Thank you. When you said that you stayed away from parties for a few months. How many??? 2,6,9?
The thought: I will never drink again! Why is it killing me so much??? Why can't I accept it?
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,526
We're glad you consider us friends you can be honest with. I felt the same way when I came here. It was a relief to have an outlet for my frustration - my friends & family had no idea what I was going through.
The idea of a long & boring life stretching out before me is what kept me drinking for decades. I didn't give myself chance to live without getting numb - I missed out on so much. We've relied on it to make things 'fun' and exciting, but in the end it does just the opposite. It took me a few months to feel part of the human race again - it's still new to you. Please keep holding on to hope - you're still healing from all you've been through. Be kind to yourself, rest, and recover.
The idea of a long & boring life stretching out before me is what kept me drinking for decades. I didn't give myself chance to live without getting numb - I missed out on so much. We've relied on it to make things 'fun' and exciting, but in the end it does just the opposite. It took me a few months to feel part of the human race again - it's still new to you. Please keep holding on to hope - you're still healing from all you've been through. Be kind to yourself, rest, and recover.
New to Real Life
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: I come in Peaces
Posts: 2,071
Originally Posted by LindseyMarie 
Hi HF, I wonder (and get scared) of the same thing. I understand about the b-day parties & showers. Most showers I've been too served mimosas, wine or bloody marys or some spectacular punch. and the b-day parties were usually BBQ's and had beer, wine or something along the lines.
But you'll notice that people really don't drink much. And once the alcoholism wears off a little
you'll notice it less. I go out now and people have a drink.. or they don't. Or they start one and don't finish it. It's just not a big deal.It's only a big deal because you're an alcoholic.
Keep working on building that new life and I promise you won't give a **** after a while. You really won't. Right now you are hyper-focusing on the alcohol part becuase you've spent (how many?) years feeding your addiction.
NORMAL PEOPLE DON'T NOTICE WHAT OTHER PEOPLE DRINK.
Sorry not yelling just for emphasis.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: London
Posts: 1,384
Originally Posted by Hevyn
We're glad you consider us friends you can be honest with. I felt the same way when I came here. It was a relief to have an outlet for my frustration - my friends & family had no idea what I was going through.
The idea of a long & boring life stretching out before me is what kept me drinking for decades. I didn't give myself chance to live without getting numb - I missed out on so much. We've relied on it to make things 'fun' and exciting, but in the end it does just the opposite. It took me a few months to feel part of the human race again - it's still new to you. Please keep holding on to hope - you're still healing from all you've been through. Be kind to yourself, rest, and recover.
The idea of a long & boring life stretching out before me is what kept me drinking for decades. I didn't give myself chance to live without getting numb - I missed out on so much. We've relied on it to make things 'fun' and exciting, but in the end it does just the opposite. It took me a few months to feel part of the human race again - it's still new to you. Please keep holding on to hope - you're still healing from all you've been through. Be kind to yourself, rest, and recover.
Sums Up how I feel...After years and years of being hungover I think I am happy with being bored and anti social in the early stages of recovery, got plenty of time ahead to enjoy this new life we are going to embark on..all very exciting if you ask me
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
I can't remember how long it was - it was certainly longer than 3 months.
I needed to work on myself, to accept my life had changed for good, and put a distance between my old life and my new one.
Only you will know how long that may take for you HF.
D
I needed to work on myself, to accept my life had changed for good, and put a distance between my old life and my new one.
Only you will know how long that may take for you HF.
D
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 746
Hevyn
This is the only place I feel a little better. My family hasn't got a clue what I am going through. Im running out of patience. But that does not mean I will drink. No no no.
Im desperate to go to the pool and swim for hours. Swimming is something I love.
This is the only place I feel a little better. My family hasn't got a clue what I am going through. Im running out of patience. But that does not mean I will drink. No no no.
Im desperate to go to the pool and swim for hours. Swimming is something I love.
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 746
SSIL75
I sometimes think that this is not me who is going through this. Why did I let myself so down that I have to remind myself each and every day that there is something in this world I can't have, because it destroys.
I sometimes think that this is not me who is going through this. Why did I let myself so down that I have to remind myself each and every day that there is something in this world I can't have, because it destroys.
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 746
Dee74
3 months is way long. First week already feels like 3 months.
So by the time I get to real 3 month it will feel like 30 years.
I do need new friends to join me in my sober life. As of now this web site is my friend and all the people here.
3 months is way long. First week already feels like 3 months.
So by the time I get to real 3 month it will feel like 30 years.
I do need new friends to join me in my sober life. As of now this web site is my friend and all the people here.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 746
Dee74
Ive never had sober friends
. Not sure where to find those super humans?
At least one for the start would be superb.
Im not sure how I will do this but Im determined this time to continue to wait until maybe one day Im happy.
Ive never had sober friends
. Not sure where to find those super humans? At least one for the start would be superb.
Im not sure how I will do this but Im determined this time to continue to wait until maybe one day Im happy.
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Go to an AA meeting...Whether you think the program is right for you or not....The rooms are full of people just like the people here...That's why I have so much fun with these people...They're alkies just like me that don't drink. They're everywhere!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Houston, Texas
Posts: 27
WOW -- this has been an incredible thread. All I can say at this time is...how nice it will be waking up clear...not hungover and enjoying the day!! Thank you so much for posting it. Great advice everyone THANK YOU!!
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 746
anvilhead
I can't expose myself to the public. I just can't. I can't tell even my friends, AA is a no no for me, just because I can't let people know that I had this addiction.
I will accept all the invitations to any sports, camping events, any sober events!
I can't expose myself to the public. I just can't. I can't tell even my friends, AA is a no no for me, just because I can't let people know that I had this addiction.
I will accept all the invitations to any sports, camping events, any sober events!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
Thats a shame HF.
I agree with the others - I think a face to face group like AA or SMART would be a great way for you to meet sober people and get a sober support network.
There are probably other ways to meet sober folks but you'll have to look harder for them...whatever you do you'll have to leave your comfort zone.
don't let embarrassment or shame keep you in a rut.
The only way we can make changes is to make changes.
D
I agree with the others - I think a face to face group like AA or SMART would be a great way for you to meet sober people and get a sober support network.
There are probably other ways to meet sober folks but you'll have to look harder for them...whatever you do you'll have to leave your comfort zone.
don't let embarrassment or shame keep you in a rut.
The only way we can make changes is to make changes.
D
Its_me_jen
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Salina, Ks
Posts: 8,547
Healthy - I'm not either actually. I've never been one to share much about myself.
It's not like I wear a sticker that says I'm an alcoholic in AA. Not even close. But if someone asks "Hey, wanna go to this big kegger next weekend?" and I say no thanks and they ask why. I just say I don't drink.
Most of my coworkers have no clue. I did have one coworker say "Oh, are you an alcoholic?" I said yes. Turns out, the father of her child died of his alcoholism. She found him dead in his own vomit. We had a great conversation.
Anyway, I do understand where you're coming from .... but, I'm not sure it's the most healthy thing for recovery.
Are you afraid of AA because people might know you've got a problem?
Were you afraid of being drunk in public?
Just a thought.
It's not like I wear a sticker that says I'm an alcoholic in AA. Not even close. But if someone asks "Hey, wanna go to this big kegger next weekend?" and I say no thanks and they ask why. I just say I don't drink.
Most of my coworkers have no clue. I did have one coworker say "Oh, are you an alcoholic?" I said yes. Turns out, the father of her child died of his alcoholism. She found him dead in his own vomit. We had a great conversation.
Anyway, I do understand where you're coming from .... but, I'm not sure it's the most healthy thing for recovery.
Are you afraid of AA because people might know you've got a problem?
Were you afraid of being drunk in public?
Just a thought.
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