So down today
Sober since Jan 1, 2012
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,583
So down today
I was in an awesome mood last night. Then my husband came home.
He acted like a royal jerk and I ended up crying quite a bit. Then I found out about my friend's girl outing invite (see First Outing post) and it made me feel even worse.
I woke up with a headache this morning, not well rested, and feeling totally down.
Tonight I get to hang out with my husband's niece and her kids. They are completely out of control behavior-wise. And my niece is snotty and bitchy (younger than us). She decided to have kids at 17 and has been a bitch about it ever since. I've tried to help her over the years but all I get back from her is sh*t.
I'm trying to tackle today at work but haven't made much progress.
He acted like a royal jerk and I ended up crying quite a bit. Then I found out about my friend's girl outing invite (see First Outing post) and it made me feel even worse.
I woke up with a headache this morning, not well rested, and feeling totally down.
Tonight I get to hang out with my husband's niece and her kids. They are completely out of control behavior-wise. And my niece is snotty and bitchy (younger than us). She decided to have kids at 17 and has been a bitch about it ever since. I've tried to help her over the years but all I get back from her is sh*t.
I'm trying to tackle today at work but haven't made much progress.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Spinning happily in my hula hoop
Posts: 2,618
Lost, gonna send good cheerful thoughts your way girlie 
...
if they give you a hard time do like the smilie... kick them in the butt..lol (trying to make you smile) I hope you get feeling better today
... if they give you a hard time do like the smilie... kick them in the butt..lol (trying to make you smile) I hope you get feeling better today So it goes
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Manchester UK
Posts: 1,620
Lost, for the first week, I was constantly down. I have read around the site, and for others the time they get down is different. All I can say is each day is it gets a little better. Each day I dont drink, I like myself a little more, the more I like myself the better I feel, heck I might even enjoy my own company soon 
Stick in there , it's worth it
Stick in there , it's worth it
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: South Dakota
Posts: 1,061
I'm sorry your having a bad day, unfortunately it happens to us all once in a while. It's a great thing you can come hear and vent rather than looking towards alcohol to fix a problem. I hope your day turns around for you soon. Stay strong.
Sober since Jan 1, 2012
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,583
Thanks everyone. Day 38 for me.
I knew intellectually that I wouldn't magically have awesome days all the time just because I quit. Still doesn't make it any easier when tough things happen.
I knew intellectually that I wouldn't magically have awesome days all the time just because I quit. Still doesn't make it any easier when tough things happen.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 1,180
hope you feel better soon. I've had some bad days too and just try and say to myself that at least I don't have to deal with all the sh/t with a hangover or feeling rough.
hope your evening isn't as bad as you expect. you can't control what other people (your niece)do-all you can control is how you react to it.
hope your evening isn't as bad as you expect. you can't control what other people (your niece)do-all you can control is how you react to it.
Sober since Jan 1, 2012
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,583
Originally Posted by justhadenough 
hope your evening isn't as bad as you expect. you can't control what other people (your niece)do-all you can control is how you react to it.
Thriving sober since 12/18/08
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 3,115
Get a Starbucks for me too!
You'll do fine, and it's OK to be in a ****** mood.. it's ok to think that normal life things suck sometimes. You're allowed to feel, react, and feel some more.. it's the whole "living life on life's terms" thing that as drunks we weren't all that great at for however many years we medicated our lives away. Give yourself a break. Have a cry. Drink a Starbucks. Tomorrow might just be a better day :o)
You'll do fine, and it's OK to be in a ****** mood.. it's ok to think that normal life things suck sometimes. You're allowed to feel, react, and feel some more.. it's the whole "living life on life's terms" thing that as drunks we weren't all that great at for however many years we medicated our lives away. Give yourself a break. Have a cry. Drink a Starbucks. Tomorrow might just be a better day :o)
Sober since Jan 1, 2012
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,583
OMG now that made me crack up!!!!!!!! Curtain climbers!!!
Yes, I HAVE to go. My husband planned it weeks ago. He wanted Jan. but upon my request he scheduled it for Feb. I figured I'd be more apt to handle it then in my first week of sobriety.
I'll get through it, I know I will. Patience and just remembering it's only one night, just a few hours....
Yes, I HAVE to go. My husband planned it weeks ago. He wanted Jan. but upon my request he scheduled it for Feb. I figured I'd be more apt to handle it then in my first week of sobriety.
I'll get through it, I know I will. Patience and just remembering it's only one night, just a few hours....
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Queens, NY
Posts: 267
Hey Lost - I want to share an early sober story of mine (look at me preaching like I've been sober for years...for the record, I'm still shy of three months!).
[Backdrop - I have huge anger, resentment and disdain for my sister-in-law. When I imagine evil - I think of her. And yes, I recognize the venom in me, but Rome wasn't built overnight]
I went for a run with my wife back in December, and was sharing with her a lot of my new found epiphanies and learnings of sobriety. As we reached our end, we stopped at Starbucks, grabbed coffee, and proceeded to walk home. Along the way, her sister called and started belly aching about how she was remaining in her husband's house with her toddler child until he agreed to pay her out for her half of the house. The details are inconsequential except that her thought was that her presence would make him so sick of her, that he would be compelled to cut her a check just to make her leave. A small $2.6mm check. By the way, I'm not imposing my view or paraphrasing - literally the plan between her and her mother which was explicitly said, was to make him sick of her to force his hand, because legally he had no obligations.
Under any normal drinking day, I would have sat down and hammered my wife about how materialistically disgusting her sister was, and blah blah blah. For the first time in the 18 years I have been with my wife, I actually felt pity for her sister. And my pity wasn't about her being single mom, or having to live in a prison, or any of those things. My pity came from the acknowledgement that I have all sorts of crazy, but in putting down the bottle and dealing with my issues, I have found a crack in my crazy and am starting to crawl my way out. But my sister-in-law..........well she's still crazy. I was sad because having now experienced a ray of hope and light, I know that her sister doesn't have a rats chance in hell of finding her path so long as she continues the way she is. Of all the resentment I have had towards her, i finally can see the so much she doesn't have - a loving husband, confidence, the feeling of being held by somebody who cares, any type of professional fulfillment, etc.
My point - maybe your upside is that you are starting to recover...but your niece, well, she is still crazy.
[Backdrop - I have huge anger, resentment and disdain for my sister-in-law. When I imagine evil - I think of her. And yes, I recognize the venom in me, but Rome wasn't built overnight]
I went for a run with my wife back in December, and was sharing with her a lot of my new found epiphanies and learnings of sobriety. As we reached our end, we stopped at Starbucks, grabbed coffee, and proceeded to walk home. Along the way, her sister called and started belly aching about how she was remaining in her husband's house with her toddler child until he agreed to pay her out for her half of the house. The details are inconsequential except that her thought was that her presence would make him so sick of her, that he would be compelled to cut her a check just to make her leave. A small $2.6mm check. By the way, I'm not imposing my view or paraphrasing - literally the plan between her and her mother which was explicitly said, was to make him sick of her to force his hand, because legally he had no obligations.
Under any normal drinking day, I would have sat down and hammered my wife about how materialistically disgusting her sister was, and blah blah blah. For the first time in the 18 years I have been with my wife, I actually felt pity for her sister. And my pity wasn't about her being single mom, or having to live in a prison, or any of those things. My pity came from the acknowledgement that I have all sorts of crazy, but in putting down the bottle and dealing with my issues, I have found a crack in my crazy and am starting to crawl my way out. But my sister-in-law..........well she's still crazy. I was sad because having now experienced a ray of hope and light, I know that her sister doesn't have a rats chance in hell of finding her path so long as she continues the way she is. Of all the resentment I have had towards her, i finally can see the so much she doesn't have - a loving husband, confidence, the feeling of being held by somebody who cares, any type of professional fulfillment, etc.
My point - maybe your upside is that you are starting to recover...but your niece, well, she is still crazy.
Sober since Jan 1, 2012
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,583
Mental, I don't care when you got sober -- you did and that's great. Anything you have to share is nice of you to do, and you don't know if something you say will resonate and help me or someone else -- so thank you!!!!
Running in Dec.?? Lucky! I can't wait for us to resume our runs this spring. And this time I won't be dragging behind because I'm hungover! Wish we had a Starbucks to run to. Maybe there is a coffee shop nearby!
And here's the part that stuck with me. I'll be thinking of your words tonight, really.
Running in Dec.?? Lucky! I can't wait for us to resume our runs this spring. And this time I won't be dragging behind because I'm hungover! Wish we had a Starbucks to run to. Maybe there is a coffee shop nearby!
And here's the part that stuck with me. I'll be thinking of your words tonight, really.
Originally Posted by MentalLoop
My point - maybe your upside is that you are starting to recover...but your niece, well, she is still crazy.
Sober since Jan 1, 2012
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,583
So Mental (and others):
I know this is part of my evolution as a person...I know these thoughts pop into your head, it's self entitlement I suppose. When you see or hear about someone who's drinking. My friend, the one I write about in the First Outing post, she told me earlier today that her recent ex-husband drank and drank until he blacked out, cheated on her, and got a DUI. Now that sucks. But her response was, well, I know I'm not the one with the problem! Even though she kind of does have a problem. She told me, there really is no way from having a night out without alcohol.
So what do you tell yourself when you think, oh boy, glad I'm not thinking like her! It's a thought that I know is entitlement. Like I'm better than. I know I'm not, but I do feel better, that I'm not living in denial like that.
I do want to be a better person, so how do I turn these thoughts around?
I know this is part of my evolution as a person...I know these thoughts pop into your head, it's self entitlement I suppose. When you see or hear about someone who's drinking. My friend, the one I write about in the First Outing post, she told me earlier today that her recent ex-husband drank and drank until he blacked out, cheated on her, and got a DUI. Now that sucks. But her response was, well, I know I'm not the one with the problem! Even though she kind of does have a problem. She told me, there really is no way from having a night out without alcohol.
So what do you tell yourself when you think, oh boy, glad I'm not thinking like her! It's a thought that I know is entitlement. Like I'm better than. I know I'm not, but I do feel better, that I'm not living in denial like that.
I do want to be a better person, so how do I turn these thoughts around?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Queens, NY
Posts: 267
Our winter has been very mild in NY. And thanks for the kind words. I do get a little sensitive about sounding like I have figured life and sobriety out when I'm a mere infant on the road of recovery.
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