Aa
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Pasadena, CA
Posts: 1,539
I watched my (fill in the blank) follow the ______ church while living a purely hypocritical lifestyle.
This is a biggie for me too. No thanks, So I was confusing God/religion/Higher Power with a spiritual life. It has been said in recovery: Religion is for those who are afraid of going to h*ll, spirituality is for those who have already been there. (perhaps this is emotionally or mentally too)
Remember, we CAN decide when we have reached our bottom. It does not have to be the park bench or homeless. Each of us has our own bottom. You will know you reached your bottom once you have worked your way out & look back & reflect.
It certainly looks like interesting reading.
Good, having a slight break in the door to see the light, regardless of the outcome is soooo very helpful! An open mind.
Going to the AA mtgs is part of that plan of doing something different to make sure I'm successful at this.
Willingness. Action. CONGRATS!
This is a biggie for me too. No thanks, So I was confusing God/religion/Higher Power with a spiritual life. It has been said in recovery: Religion is for those who are afraid of going to h*ll, spirituality is for those who have already been there. (perhaps this is emotionally or mentally too)
Remember, we CAN decide when we have reached our bottom. It does not have to be the park bench or homeless. Each of us has our own bottom. You will know you reached your bottom once you have worked your way out & look back & reflect.
It certainly looks like interesting reading.
Good, having a slight break in the door to see the light, regardless of the outcome is soooo very helpful! An open mind.
Going to the AA mtgs is part of that plan of doing something different to make sure I'm successful at this.
Willingness. Action. CONGRATS!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Newburgh
Posts: 868
Glad to hear you are giving AA a try. I was a pretty staunch atheist when I started. I was my own god, thought I knew everything. AA has taught me how to start a relationship with God through simple prayers.
Just a bit of willingness and an open mind is all that is needed to get started.
Best wishes on your journey.
God bless.
Just a bit of willingness and an open mind is all that is needed to get started.
Best wishes on your journey.
God bless.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: « USA » Recovered with AVRT (Rational Recovery) ___________
Posts: 3,680
I usually recommend reading through the first 164 pages of the "Big Book"* as well as the "Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions"* before going to AA meetings. If you don't read them, the latest "90-day wonder" probably won't be able to resist quoting the literature at you.
* Linked with Permission of AAWS.
* Linked with Permission of AAWS.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Not a chapter you want to skim over at work...I love that chapter...Real good stuff. Right now you have girlfriends you understand. Hang around with them and listen and learn. I'm happy for you...Keep it up.
Sober since Jan 1, 2012
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,583
Originally Posted by 1_day@_a_time 
I watched my (fill in the blank) follow the ______ church while living a purely hypocritical lifestyle.
This is a biggie for me too. No thanks, So I was confusing God/religion/Higher Power with a spiritual life. It has been said in recovery: Religion is for those who are afraid of going to h*ll, spirituality is for those who have already been there. (perhaps this is emotionally or mentally too)
Remember, we CAN decide when we have reached our bottom. It does not have to be the park bench or homeless. Each of us has our own bottom. You will know you reached your bottom once you have worked your way out & look back & reflect.
It certainly looks like interesting reading.
Good, having a slight break in the door to see the light, regardless of the outcome is soooo very helpful! An open mind.
Going to the AA mtgs is part of that plan of doing something different to make sure I'm successful at this.
Willingness. Action. CONGRATS!
This is a biggie for me too. No thanks, So I was confusing God/religion/Higher Power with a spiritual life. It has been said in recovery: Religion is for those who are afraid of going to h*ll, spirituality is for those who have already been there. (perhaps this is emotionally or mentally too)
Remember, we CAN decide when we have reached our bottom. It does not have to be the park bench or homeless. Each of us has our own bottom. You will know you reached your bottom once you have worked your way out & look back & reflect.
It certainly looks like interesting reading.
Good, having a slight break in the door to see the light, regardless of the outcome is soooo very helpful! An open mind.
Going to the AA mtgs is part of that plan of doing something different to make sure I'm successful at this.
Willingness. Action. CONGRATS!
Originally Posted by jocata
Glad to hear you are giving AA a try. I was a pretty staunch atheist when I started. I was my own god, thought I knew everything. AA has taught me how to start a relationship with God through simple prayers.
Just a bit of willingness and an open mind is all that is needed to get started.
Best wishes on your journey.
God bless.
Just a bit of willingness and an open mind is all that is needed to get started.
Best wishes on your journey.
God bless.
Originally Posted by Terminally Unique
I usually recommend reading through the first 164 pages of the "Big Book"* as well as the "Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions"* before going to AA meetings. If you don't read them, the latest "90-day wonder" probably won't be able to resist quoting the literature at you.
* Linked with Permission of AAWS.
* Linked with Permission of AAWS.
Sober since Jan 1, 2012
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,583
Originally Posted by Sapling
Not a chapter you want to skim over at work...I love that chapter...Real good stuff. Right now you have girlfriends you understand. Hang around with them and listen and learn. I'm happy for you...Keep it up.
And...thank you.
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Pasadena, CA
Posts: 1,539
More, I'm looking to forge my way into a new life, find myself, be proud of myself and enjoy life. I have enough to deal with now, things like grief and remorse for my past, how to deal with friends, drinking and non, how to navigate my already close relationships.
While there are those who will disagree, I have empirical proof all of this is available through active recovery/AA. It is more old school AA and not as commonly found today. But it does exist. It is available to us. Just my experience.
While there are those who will disagree, I have empirical proof all of this is available through active recovery/AA. It is more old school AA and not as commonly found today. But it does exist. It is available to us. Just my experience.
Sober since Jan 1, 2012
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,583
Originally Posted by 1_day@_a_time
More, I'm looking to forge my way into a new life, find myself, be proud of myself and enjoy life. I have enough to deal with now, things like grief and remorse for my past, how to deal with friends, drinking and non, how to navigate my already close relationships.
While there are those who will disagree, I have empirical proof all of this is available through active recovery/AA. It is more old school AA and not as commonly found today. But it does exist. It is available to us. Just my experience.
While there are those who will disagree, I have empirical proof all of this is available through active recovery/AA. It is more old school AA and not as commonly found today. But it does exist. It is available to us. Just my experience.
Sober since Jan 1, 2012
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,583
Originally Posted by 1_day@_a_time
I gave it little to no thought in the beginning. I simply wanted a better, new & different life!
That was in 2002.
I have 1 today.
That was in 2002.
I have 1 today.
Peace, Love, Sobriety
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Wilmington, DE
Posts: 1,549
Originally Posted by Lost3000
I hate it when I'm wrong. I went to an AA mtg today, I think this will probably be my home group. I met three really nice women, and we all exchanged numbers.
Anyway, 3 yrs back I was adamently against AA. I didn't like the higher power part and also decided that I couldn't possibly related to all of those drunks.
Which is what I am, a drunk.
Last week I went and got my 30 day chip. Today I met some friends. I'm starting to like this. One invited me to an all women's group. I think I'm going to go!
So while I'm not working the steps so to speak, or have a sponsor, I am taking baby steps in admitting that AA has lots of value to me. Because while things are going well now, surely something tough will happen and at least I can have these girlfriends to talk to who understand.
Anyway, 3 yrs back I was adamently against AA. I didn't like the higher power part and also decided that I couldn't possibly related to all of those drunks.
Which is what I am, a drunk.
Last week I went and got my 30 day chip. Today I met some friends. I'm starting to like this. One invited me to an all women's group. I think I'm going to go!
So while I'm not working the steps so to speak, or have a sponsor, I am taking baby steps in admitting that AA has lots of value to me. Because while things are going well now, surely something tough will happen and at least I can have these girlfriends to talk to who understand.
Sober since Jan 1, 2012
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,583
Originally Posted by FlyerFan
Same here lost. I initially was totally against it because I was not really religious, but finally I made myself go and I am just like you. I havent touched the steps, i dont have a sponsor, but I do enjoy meeting the nice people and hearing their stories, and I too enjoy the all womens meetings. I am going to continue to go and perhaps one day I will decide to get a sponsor, but for now I am staying sober regardless
I might add, that I am going to force myself to call some of these women, in an effort to get to know them. I want to form a loose "network", so that when I'm having a hard time I have someone to text/call.
Peace, Love, Sobriety
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Wilmington, DE
Posts: 1,549
Yes, i know it is hard but i had to force myself as well. In fact I found it easier if you ask permission to text them as well. It make the tension go away when you really do need them. I have one person that I text daily and we just chit chat about any old thing.
Peace, Love, Sobriety
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Wilmington, DE
Posts: 1,549
i still havent even looked at the steps, lol. Obviously ive done step 1 by admitting i have no control over my drinking. Step 2 is probably going to take me a long long time but thats alright with me. I see this as a lifelong journey anyway so as long as I stay sober it doesnt matter how long it takes me
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Pasadena, CA
Posts: 1,539
I would like to suggest that you consider what the Steps could mean in your life.
Many professionals well versed in addiction/alcoholism have acknowledged this process as one that will bring about change few others can.
Are there other options? Of course. Some will suggest coming here to sr is sufficient. Perhaps that is the case. I have been coming here for nearly 10 years and can tell you, the chances of a true & complete transformation with something like sr alone, are not good.
Please, I am NOT interested in this becoming a debate. I am merely revealing what my experiences have been & the outcome of many.
What I am attempting to demonstrate to Lost & Flyer is what the application of the Steps can do for an alcoholic.
So if your opinion differs, kindly leave this topic alone. Please.
The application of the principles found in the Steps are truly life changing & are found elsewhere as well.
How about (and I paraphrase):
"Tolerance & patience of others is our code"
"Courtesy, kindness, justice & love are the keynotes by which I may come into harmony with practically anyone"
"For I can neither think nor act to good purpose until the habit of self-restraint has become automatic"
"Nothing pays off like the restraint of tongue & pen"
I could go on & on but hope that you may in fact agree living by these and many other solid principles can only improve the quality of a persons life.
Most will agree that there is a quite clear & specific path to follow in the taking (application) of the Steps as a way of life.
Will simply going to meetings be OK & work? Naturally there are thoughts on both sides here. All I can speak to is my experience. Having gone to literally thousands of meetings and worked with dozens & dozens of people in the role of a friend as well as a sponsor, the odds of making a full & complete transformation to become the man or women you have dreamed of is not likely.
To be free of the obsession to drink or use. To Let Go of the past. To forgive. To clean house of the garbage & wreckage created along the way. To be forgiven. To help others to achieve the same & have a life one only dreams of?
Probably not. Just my 2 cents.
I hope you will give yourself the opportunity to not be judgmental, discard the contempt prior to investigation mindset, step back, be objective, get out of self & see for yourself.
The worst that will happen is you will disagree with my life experience and that of countless others.
Thank you.
Many professionals well versed in addiction/alcoholism have acknowledged this process as one that will bring about change few others can.
Are there other options? Of course. Some will suggest coming here to sr is sufficient. Perhaps that is the case. I have been coming here for nearly 10 years and can tell you, the chances of a true & complete transformation with something like sr alone, are not good.
Please, I am NOT interested in this becoming a debate. I am merely revealing what my experiences have been & the outcome of many.
What I am attempting to demonstrate to Lost & Flyer is what the application of the Steps can do for an alcoholic.
So if your opinion differs, kindly leave this topic alone. Please.
The application of the principles found in the Steps are truly life changing & are found elsewhere as well.
How about (and I paraphrase):
"Tolerance & patience of others is our code"
"Courtesy, kindness, justice & love are the keynotes by which I may come into harmony with practically anyone"
"For I can neither think nor act to good purpose until the habit of self-restraint has become automatic"
"Nothing pays off like the restraint of tongue & pen"
I could go on & on but hope that you may in fact agree living by these and many other solid principles can only improve the quality of a persons life.
Most will agree that there is a quite clear & specific path to follow in the taking (application) of the Steps as a way of life.
Will simply going to meetings be OK & work? Naturally there are thoughts on both sides here. All I can speak to is my experience. Having gone to literally thousands of meetings and worked with dozens & dozens of people in the role of a friend as well as a sponsor, the odds of making a full & complete transformation to become the man or women you have dreamed of is not likely.
To be free of the obsession to drink or use. To Let Go of the past. To forgive. To clean house of the garbage & wreckage created along the way. To be forgiven. To help others to achieve the same & have a life one only dreams of?
Probably not. Just my 2 cents.
I hope you will give yourself the opportunity to not be judgmental, discard the contempt prior to investigation mindset, step back, be objective, get out of self & see for yourself.
The worst that will happen is you will disagree with my life experience and that of countless others.
Thank you.
Sober since Jan 1, 2012
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,583
Hi 1 Day, thanks for your post. I read it (twice) and gave it some thought.
I am open to being open. That's for sure. And I do like the tenants you listed. All admirable. I'll keep trying and won't give up.
Thank you again for your thoughtful post.
I am open to being open. That's for sure. And I do like the tenants you listed. All admirable. I'll keep trying and won't give up.
Thank you again for your thoughtful post.
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