Deborah55

Guess what I didn't drink. He is sort of mean so I didn't tell him to get rid of it. How do others handle such a thing?

Dazee

Good for you. Stay strong. When you say he is mean, is it about not drinking/not respecting your efforts?

Elisabeth888

Good for you!

I personally go to meetings or call my sponsor or someone else in AA. My husband drinks too and it has taken me a long time to accept that it is just not an option for me. It leads me down a road of misery and destruction.

Do you have a support network or a friend you could talk to? Or how about posting here until the urge passes?

FlyerFan

oh man i'd have to smack my boyfriend if he did that. lol. Thankfully though since I have been sober he has been right along with me. And I make it clear to any visitors that alcohol is not allowed in our house, because I know I'll end up drinking it.

mattparadise

He didn't try to get you to drink did he? I guess it's his choice, but he shouldn't offer you any.

dorito281211

There is wine in our house along with some beer in the garage, the wife doesn't bring it out out of respect for what I'm trying to do. I have learned so much bout alcoholism in the past month and so has she.
She knows this is serious and she supports be so she is treading lightly. I would ask him to keep that out of the house and not tempt you with it.
Good on you for not drinking though

Deborah55

I think my husband was almost trying to tempt me to drink...You know I just ain't no fun since I quit drinking...Ha Ha. But you know watching him get drunk made me realize as a reminder of how disgusting a drunk can look like. And then just by watching him drink I can almost still feel the pain of what my insides felt like when I was going through the major detox. I have asked of him once again not to bring it home, not that I was tempted... but more betrayed...because he usually drinks beer...but brought a bottle. I have not told anyone but you guys because my family would have a fit. All in all I think I handled it well..Thanks for reading all you wonderful sober people...

dorito281211

Hang in there, your doing great!

GirlFromCO

You did a good job tonight focusing on your recovery, Deborah55. From hanging around the forums and also from my own experience I learned that it's not just us going through a lot when we quit drinking - our families often experience a whirlwind of emotions as well. The best thing that you can do for both of you is take care of yourself and by doing that set a good example for him. The silver lining of him drinking is that it strengthens your resolve if you want to see it that way. Every time I see a drunk person it can fuel my sober fire for weeks. I never ever want to be like that again! Kind of sick, I know, but I take strength where I can get it lol.

canguy

...this one has been a big problem for me in the past. My wife was, after a while, always kind of ambivalent about the drinking. I'd supposed to be dry, but then she'd be buying the bottle of wine, the 6 pack of beer. It sends confusing messages. It was almost as tho you were being taunted with it....look, I can handle it and you can't. Ultimatums given, then she'd relax it and i'd slip into it....then too much and the problems start over. Its a destructive pattern. I'm cautious now about people who may use our weakness to reinforce their sense of control over what they use. Just a thought yeah....?

GirlFromCO

I think it's a valid thought, but I also know resentment kills recovery if you let it. Best to focus on yourself and let others take care of themselves.

pangur

Alcohol and love shouldn't be confused, both are very powerful. I'm a pathetic alcoholic, I get drunk on a daily basis. However, love, it's the one thing of lasting beauty that we hold on to, like mentioned above, it's destructive when love goes out the window. Even if you husband is in the grip of the booze, remind him of love and why it's so important, it might save his life.

canguy

GirlfromCO.....no resentment in this, just an observation of the way the problem would repeat and play out. I had to quit, but it wasn't exactly a supportive context in which to do it. "not my problem" was the message I increasingly heard. No sense of a shared thing. Maybe fair enough. The partner can be very absent for you even when living together in the same rooms.