2granddaughters

Yes, they do.
When you get to AA and talking to the members, you will find that you fit right in.

All the best.

Bob R.

langkah

It is pretty suprising to decide not to drink and find ourselves drinking again in a few days, months or years. You'd think deciding not to a few dozen or thousand times would mean something, or at the very least we'd become aware that we're unlikely to stay stopped that way.

Something about that seems to grate against the grain, as if just because we'd prefer for that not to be so, that it isn't so.

But, when we're faced with the same result time after time it becomes increasingly hard to ignore that it's exactly what we can expect with any of our future ironclad decisions.

I'd not get too excited about it and perhaps find someone who also couldn't stay sober more than a few years and then did something that allowed them to stay sober a lot longer time than they ever did before and consider doing that too.

Something that actually works, in other words. Instead of continuing to repeatedly do things that don't work just because we'd like it a lot if they did.

Purplecatlover

You can do it. You just have to realize there will always be an excuse. You're happy, you're sad, youre mad, bored, whatever. I don't go to AA but have read the Big Book online. It helped me realize what I am, why I am & what to do to get better.
You have to stop the alcoholic mind from thinking all those self defeating thoughts.
Think of it as life & death, which it is. Don't give in to the lies alcohol tells you.
It's not worth the pain & suffering after.
I quit when I realized it wasn't even enjoyable anymore. You have to break the cycle. Stay strong & give it another go.

Dazee

I don't go to AA regularly but I went to a couple meetings. I never said anything except I'm Dazee, alcoholic. I felt so much better after saying it aloud. I'm not sure if it is my thing either but it's nice to know I can go somewhere if I'm having a rough day.

Dee74

I think supports very important James - it's very hard to do this on our own.

There's a lot of approaches and methods of recovery around - here's some links to some of the main players:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html

I recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach.

The main thing tho - whatever you decide to do - is do something, James
Find something and try it - don't delay on it.

In my experience (and it's extensive on this) inaction just leads to more drinking....

D

Dee74

for those wondering, I merged two threads.

D

instant

James in addition to the above I suggest you

1. Read the Big Book (free online)
2. Do the free short online course on AVRT at Rational Recovery
3. Don't give up

James18

I might go and see a doctor next week (i need to register with one anyway), tell him/her i'm struggling to stop drinking and see what thier advice is.

James18

Thanks Instant, i'll look them up.

Hevyn

James - Yes you can do this. I drank my whole life, & I sit here today 4 yrs. sober. Sometimes we just need further convincing. You've seen - once again - how much power the stuff has over you. It's hard to let go - it's been a way of life for so long. If we're honest, though, we have to admit it's no longer fun or an escape.

It's great you're going to see a doctor. I think you'll feel relieved when you come clean about your drinking habits. You aren't alone, James - we're here for you.

Aiden

Hi James18,
This is alcoholism 101. I understand today I have an allergy of the body that causes a craving beyond my control once I start to drink. When I have two or three drinks the urge to continue is overpowering no matter what I plan or decide. I used to think that the F..k it moment was just my rebellious nature but I now know that this is part of the mental illness that is alcoholism. I was also unable to stay stopped because I have a mind that had become so warped that true appeared false and black appeared white. It is fair to say that people rely on their reasoning and judgment to make sound decisions in their life but for me this did not apply to my drinking and using. I could not see the truth. I have worked the 12 steps of AA in their entirety and what happened was a complete psychic shift which removed from me the reasons that I drank and today allow me to see the true from the false. I know that as long as I continue to work the steps I need never drink or use again.

Good luck and if you want to know more then contact me.

Aiden

CaiHong

Hi James,

I have a strong feeling from your posts that you really haven't accepted the fact that you are an alcoholic and if you don't you will find it difficult to give up. I understand that.

I am sober 8 months now with the support of this forum and AA.
I am a very grateful and happy alcoholic.
May you find the peace I have found

CaiHong

James18

You're right. I'm having trouble separating the image of a whiskey soaked old hobo from the word "alcoholic", or someone who drinks 24/7 and is dead at 45. i don't see myself as one. These are images that have been ingrained on my mind ever since being a child and are hard to shift. This is also the reason I have difficulty thinking about going to AA - I don't feel like I belong there or that my drinking is not bad enough yet to warrant me going, and i'm just wasting everyone's time.

Saying all that though, it's just dawned on me why these images get used; it gets everyone else off the hook - "if i'm not homeless and sat in the park with a bottle of whiskey, i'm ok to carry on and i'm not an alcoholic".

It's possible that I am an alcoholic. It's possible most of my friends are too.

I have a lot to think about.

Sapling

I don't know if you are an alcoholic or not...I know I am. But from reading your first post I wouldn't put you in the normal drinker category. Good luck on whatever journey you choose.

Terminally Unique

For whatever it's worth, you don't necessarily have to consider yourself "an alcoholic" in order to quit drinking, unless you intend to join AA. Like Dee said, your addiction will feed on passivity and procrastination, though.

James18

Well going on my last attempt, today is "fail day". I nearly drank yesterday and managed not to. I don't know why the 4th day seems so much of a problem (alcohol leaving the system maybe?) but it's the day I fail every time. If I can get through today I've broken my record!

Dee74

It's probably best not to think of a particular day as fail day...I believe you can do this

D

justhadenough

Hi James

I know how hard it is. I've tried and failed many times. This time I just got so sick of it all and my life that I really wanted to stop drinking. you do need to really want it.

I'm in the UK too. For various reasons, AA is not for me. I have recently read Rational Recovery-which gives an interesting insight. I would recommend it-less than a tenner off Amazon.

Wishing you the best of luck.

James18

I'm on their website as we speak, and it seems to make a lot of sense.

Dee, I agree about the "fail day" thing not being helpful. It does seem to be a recurrent pattern though, but I'm going to stop thinking like that.

langkah

As far as needing to know or believe you're an alcoholic before going to AA...not required or even common, because as you stated people often have funny and incorrect ideas about what an alcoholic actually is. Requiring them to get that turned around and straight in their minds before participating and staying comfortably sober wouldn't pan out.

I didn't begin to comprehend well at all until I knew and was involved with sober alcoholics for some months. People who often had experienced far less problems with alcohol than I had, back in their drinking days. Many had been able to endure many months of not drinking on their own, some were even younger than I, many had suffered only surface difficulties from their drinking.

From the way I saw things before learning better, they weren't alcoholic at all and I was instead the one who was seriously bad off and needed AA desperately. I came to understand things well enough to see the problem in it's right light, but that took nearly a year and has continued to expand and deepen.

It would be a shame if your preconceived and incorrect prejudices blocked you from getting effective help. You need not overcome them to begin, and they will fall away as you go along.

Well done on your 4 days, of course.