desertsong

Hey all ...

Been sober for 35 days by the grace of the Lord Almighty. Whether or not you believe, that's okay with me. Not my issue right now.

My husband is still an active alcoholic ... praises me for my sobriety and tells me how proud he is of me and I see that in him. Great, thank you. But my friends are like, "Why aren't you drinking?" "C'mon, even if you think you have a 'problem,' what's the harm in one or two drinks?'" I've explained this to them 1001 times and they still don't get it. Worse yet, I find myself wanting to have "just one drink" to prove to them that I have problem. Do they really want to see what happens to me after "one" drink (that turns into 1001 drinks) or do they want to set me up to fail? Or are they clueless?!

Sigh ... not sure what I'm asking for here, just frustrated. Seems some want to help me and others want to derail me. I know who they are ... just sad that I have to cut them out of my life if I want to stay sober. Sometimes, although the benefits outweigh the bad stuff ... sober living can suck big-time. But I'll take it hands-down over the alternative.

Thanks for listening.\

suki44883

Many times our former drinking buddies don't like it so much when we decide to quit drinking because it forces them to look at their own drinking habits. This is one way to find out who your true friends are. True friends will cheer you on and be happy that you are taking control of something that has been a problem. Those who don't, or who say negative things, just want you to drink so they don't have to face their own habits. JMHO.

Congrats on the 35 days!! That's great!

Anna

Good for you on your 35 days sober!

Yes, it's sad that there are a lot of changes in early recovery. I had to remove a few people from my life, too. But, really, if people don't believe what you are telling them and if they're pushing you to do something that is very harmful to you, are they really friends? And, it could be both - they may be clueless and they may be setting you up to fail. They may feel a threat from you, regarding their own drinking.

mwstylee

We have nothing to prove to anyone else and plus, if they are not an alkie then they just don't get it...no matter what! Hang in there desertsong!

ElegantlyWasted

35 days; awesome! My opinion is that in general people who don't get it are clueless either because they are in denial themselves or are not problem drinkers. The problem drinker is more likely to be resentful toward your not drinking, while non problem drinkers just don't get it. I think you doing great and making those difficult changes that need to happen.

jocata

Stick to your guns dessertsong. Don't worry about what anybody else thinks. You know you are doing the right thing and that's all that matters.

God bless.

quitforme79

Hang in there desertsong, you're doing awesome. I went out tonight w 2 friends and one doesn't think I had/have a problem as someone else we know was "way worse". Well...either way, it's a personal choice to quit drinking or to not drink and I feel some people just don't respect or get that. When we got back from the movies, my 2 friends did 2 shots and had 2 glasses of wine (yes, I was counting) lol One was INSISTING I try the mexican rum while the other was like, "she doesn't want to" I think I'll keep the latter close to me for now. There are so many changes going on for me, you, us in early recovery. Tomorrow is 1 month for me (well actually today!) and the despair I felt 2 weeks ago has all but lifted. You said it well---the benefits do outweigh the bad stuff. I wish you had more face to face support at home but SR is always here for you ((hugs))