New to all of this and quite confused
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 7
New to all of this and quite confused
I'm new to all of this. I've been sober since January 12, 2012, 3 weeks. I'm currently in an outpatient rehab program. I'm having a difficult time with the AA meetings.
I've been to 3 but I only liked the 2nd one I went to. However, they meet on Monday nights and I am in the rehab program Mon-Thurs nights. I work full time during the day, which leaves me just weekends to attend meetings.
I cried when I got home from work today because I had nowhere to go and I live alone. The depression is really bad right now. My dr put me on an AD but it will take several weeks for it to take effect. So I got on the computer and keyed in a few words and I found myself at this site.
I've been sitting reading the different posts for 3 hours now! I feel better since I've been reading them. Can coming on this site replace a meeting when I don't feel like going?
As I said, I'm new to all of this and I'm still quite confused. I'm having a really hard time saying my name and then saying "and I'm an alcoholic". I know that I am but I just hate saying it. I'd appreciate any insight you can give me.
I've been to 3 but I only liked the 2nd one I went to. However, they meet on Monday nights and I am in the rehab program Mon-Thurs nights. I work full time during the day, which leaves me just weekends to attend meetings.
I cried when I got home from work today because I had nowhere to go and I live alone. The depression is really bad right now. My dr put me on an AD but it will take several weeks for it to take effect. So I got on the computer and keyed in a few words and I found myself at this site.
I've been sitting reading the different posts for 3 hours now! I feel better since I've been reading them. Can coming on this site replace a meeting when I don't feel like going?
As I said, I'm new to all of this and I'm still quite confused. I'm having a really hard time saying my name and then saying "and I'm an alcoholic". I know that I am but I just hate saying it. I'd appreciate any insight you can give me.
I'm here to learn!
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: I'm on it!
Posts: 2,038
Welcome to SR!
I have found that SR is a great part of my recovery program. For me it doesn't and can't replace going to a meeting, but it keeps me sober and I enjoy coming here. I think face to face support is crucial for me. Your milage may vary, recovery is very much an individual thing.
My own recovery program consists of SR, meetings and seeing a therapist. I don't think without any one of those three things I would stay sober for too long.
I have found that SR is a great part of my recovery program. For me it doesn't and can't replace going to a meeting, but it keeps me sober and I enjoy coming here. I think face to face support is crucial for me. Your milage may vary, recovery is very much an individual thing.
My own recovery program consists of SR, meetings and seeing a therapist. I don't think without any one of those three things I would stay sober for too long.
Powerless over Alcohol
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Trudging the Road to Happy Destiny!
Posts: 4,018
Welcome 
Do what you can if you only have the weekends make sure to go and get as many numbers you can, and go back to that meeting you enjoyed and do the same.
Use those and build these relations for the lonely times are hard. HALT= hungry,angry,lonely, and tired. I try to avoid those as much as possible.
I am in Cleveland so howdy neighbor. And this place in wonderful, please come into the chat room also. I used that like 18 hours a day for the first few months. Great people and made many friends there.
In fact there are meetings on Wed at 5 EST and Friday at 9 EST., come on by.
Good love, Inda
Do what you can if you only have the weekends make sure to go and get as many numbers you can, and go back to that meeting you enjoyed and do the same.
Use those and build these relations for the lonely times are hard. HALT= hungry,angry,lonely, and tired. I try to avoid those as much as possible.
I am in Cleveland so howdy neighbor. And this place in wonderful, please come into the chat room also. I used that like 18 hours a day for the first few months. Great people and made many friends there.
In fact there are meetings on Wed at 5 EST and Friday at 9 EST., come on by.
Good love, Inda
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: i tavel the u.s.a working
Posts: 4
i am new also!
Originally Posted by mari1405 
I'm new to all of this. I've been sober since January 12, 2012, 3 weeks. I'm currently in an outpatient rehab program. I'm having a difficult time with the AA meetings.
I've been to 3 but I only liked the 2nd one I went to. However, they meet on Monday nights and I am in the rehab program Mon-Thurs nights. I work full time during the day, which leaves me just weekends to attend meetings.
I cried when I got home from work today because I had nowhere to go and I live alone. The depression is really bad right now. My dr put me on an AD but it will take several weeks for it to take effect. So I got on the computer and keyed in a few words and I found myself at this site.
I've been sitting reading the different posts for 3 hours now! I feel better since I've been reading them. Can coming on this site replace a meeting when I don't feel like going?
As I said, I'm new to all of this and I'm still quite confused. I'm having a really hard time saying my name and then saying "and I'm an alcoholic". I know that I am but I just hate saying it. I'd appreciate any insight you can give me.
I've been to 3 but I only liked the 2nd one I went to. However, they meet on Monday nights and I am in the rehab program Mon-Thurs nights. I work full time during the day, which leaves me just weekends to attend meetings.
I cried when I got home from work today because I had nowhere to go and I live alone. The depression is really bad right now. My dr put me on an AD but it will take several weeks for it to take effect. So I got on the computer and keyed in a few words and I found myself at this site.
I've been sitting reading the different posts for 3 hours now! I feel better since I've been reading them. Can coming on this site replace a meeting when I don't feel like going?
As I said, I'm new to all of this and I'm still quite confused. I'm having a really hard time saying my name and then saying "and I'm an alcoholic". I know that I am but I just hate saying it. I'd appreciate any insight you can give me.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,560
Welcome Mari! Congratulations on your 3 weeks sober - that is fabulous. You will feel stronger & more confident as time goes on.
Whether or not to attend meetings is such a personal decision. I know people who absolutely need that face-to-face support on a regular basis, but others who never participated in AA. I myself haven't gone to meetings, except for court-ordered ones a few years ago. I haven't ruled out giving it another try, but I've used SR & books as my support. I have 4 yrs. sober.
I'm so glad you're finding the site to be helpful. It calmed my anxiety & gave me so much hope. Keep reading & posting - we're here for you any time.
Whether or not to attend meetings is such a personal decision. I know people who absolutely need that face-to-face support on a regular basis, but others who never participated in AA. I myself haven't gone to meetings, except for court-ordered ones a few years ago. I haven't ruled out giving it another try, but I've used SR & books as my support. I have 4 yrs. sober.
I'm so glad you're finding the site to be helpful. It calmed my anxiety & gave me so much hope. Keep reading & posting - we're here for you any time.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: in the shadow of the rockies
Posts: 338
hi
I do AA as well as NA- in my rural community that means i can get more meetings. it IS hard to handle the loneliness- that's why meetings and on line support can be vital. When i was new in recovery i found some other newbies who were as desperate to stay sober as i was and we maintained daily contact with each other.
wasn't too long before i got a tough sponsor and working steps helped the time pass.
I also kept my ears open for clean n sober social activities and put aside tons of reservations [ALL ego centric, of course- how'd you know!] and began to go to those as well. when i moved to a larger community i found the "meeting after the meting" to be a great asset .
Finally- after a lot of that "learning to love myself" work- i became real comfortable at spending time with ME. That was not immediate [notice the words: lot of ....work] we are not inherently a patient bunch, so this can be a challenge - thank god many many many have proven that it works . So for a day at a time i can be patient....
I do AA as well as NA- in my rural community that means i can get more meetings. it IS hard to handle the loneliness- that's why meetings and on line support can be vital. When i was new in recovery i found some other newbies who were as desperate to stay sober as i was and we maintained daily contact with each other.
wasn't too long before i got a tough sponsor and working steps helped the time pass.
I also kept my ears open for clean n sober social activities and put aside tons of reservations [ALL ego centric, of course- how'd you know!] and began to go to those as well. when i moved to a larger community i found the "meeting after the meting" to be a great asset .
Finally- after a lot of that "learning to love myself" work- i became real comfortable at spending time with ME. That was not immediate [notice the words: lot of ....work] we are not inherently a patient bunch, so this can be a challenge - thank god many many many have proven that it works . So for a day at a time i can be patient....
Guest
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 609
The Internet has been very helpful for me, but many people find that f2f support is also important in their recovery. I don't go to meetings (nearest meeting is a long distance) but do have a counsellor and local centre I can call if I need urgent help. It's not an ideal situation, has some extra challenges, but I make the most of it, and gradually learned what I have to do to remain sober.
I'd give the meetings a chance still, it's okay to just sit in and listen, nobody has to get up and speak until they are ready to. It's difficult going this alone, I never got very far when left to my own devices - it's easier with some guidance.
I'd give the meetings a chance still, it's okay to just sit in and listen, nobody has to get up and speak until they are ready to. It's difficult going this alone, I never got very far when left to my own devices - it's easier with some guidance.
Resident
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Toronto, Ontario
Posts: 4,150
to SR MariA lot of people here use SR as their means of support so both are good.
Is going to meetings part of your rehab program? If it is maybe this is something you should discuss with your counselor or adviser.
In any case a little extra support can't hurt and there are usually people on here day and night since the site is international.
Good luck in your recovery.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Newburgh
Posts: 868
Welcome Mari. This site will do wonders for you if you hang around. I go to AA meetings also, work with a sponser, work the steps. I need as much help as I can get.
The emotions are tough at first. You can do it. Don't ever give up.
God bless.
The emotions are tough at first. You can do it. Don't ever give up.
God bless.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 7
Going to meetings is part of the rehab program. We are supposed to attend at least 2 meeting per week. There doesn't seem to be very many closed meeting around here. Where I am, everyone says that a closed meeting just means that you can't bring someone not in AA with you. An open meeting means that you can bring someone with you. That's not what the AA meeting schedule says though! I've got 3 more weeks of the intense rehab (going every night), then 6-12 weeks in aftercare (one night a week).
I'm looking for all the support I can get. This is really hard, but I'm hoping to find a big rainbow at the end of this really dark tunnel.
I'm looking for all the support I can get. This is really hard, but I'm hoping to find a big rainbow at the end of this really dark tunnel.
My Boss is a Jewish Carpenter
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Western Canada
Posts: 338
Hi, Mari. Welcome to SR.
I've been going to meetings and saying "My name is Harold and I'm an alcoholic" for over two decades of continuous sobriety. What does it mean? It explains it very well in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. It means I have an allergy of the body combined with an obsession of the mind. Look up "allergy" in the dictionary; you'll see it means an abnormal reaction to a substance. I have that. When alcohol in any form enters my mouth, I react to it differently than someone who is not an alcoholic. I immediately crave more. "One drink is too many and a thousand is not enough." Alcoholism also creates an obsession in my mind. I was bound and determined to prove to myself and the world that I'm not an alcoholic, that I can hold and handle liquor as well as anyone. This had disastrous results. Alcoholism is the only disease that tells the sufferer he doesn't have it. If I was allergic to shellfish, I wouldn't keep eating shellfish saying I can handle it as well as anyone, it doesn't affect me. Same with any other allergy: I simply would accept my plight and get along without the substance. But I had to try and prove that my friend, alcohol, was still my friend.
AA meetings are essential to my recovery. I enjoy reading and sharing on this site, and it enhances my sobriety, but I wouldn't try to get along without F2F meetings. I've heard too many people who had a slip and came back to AA say that the first thing they did on the way to their slip was stop going to meetings.
Keep coming back.
I've been going to meetings and saying "My name is Harold and I'm an alcoholic" for over two decades of continuous sobriety. What does it mean? It explains it very well in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. It means I have an allergy of the body combined with an obsession of the mind. Look up "allergy" in the dictionary; you'll see it means an abnormal reaction to a substance. I have that. When alcohol in any form enters my mouth, I react to it differently than someone who is not an alcoholic. I immediately crave more. "One drink is too many and a thousand is not enough." Alcoholism also creates an obsession in my mind. I was bound and determined to prove to myself and the world that I'm not an alcoholic, that I can hold and handle liquor as well as anyone. This had disastrous results. Alcoholism is the only disease that tells the sufferer he doesn't have it. If I was allergic to shellfish, I wouldn't keep eating shellfish saying I can handle it as well as anyone, it doesn't affect me. Same with any other allergy: I simply would accept my plight and get along without the substance. But I had to try and prove that my friend, alcohol, was still my friend.
AA meetings are essential to my recovery. I enjoy reading and sharing on this site, and it enhances my sobriety, but I wouldn't try to get along without F2F meetings. I've heard too many people who had a slip and came back to AA say that the first thing they did on the way to their slip was stop going to meetings.
Keep coming back.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,431
Welcome to SR mari
Some here successfully just use SR, some successfully use SR in conjunction with other programmes (and not just AA)
I think you're going to need to work out whats best for you yourself - but you'll find lots of friends and lots of support here
a big welcome to you too Tomedgerle
glad to have the both of you here
D
Some here successfully just use SR, some successfully use SR in conjunction with other programmes (and not just AA)
I think you're going to need to work out whats best for you yourself - but you'll find lots of friends and lots of support here
a big welcome to you too Tomedgerle
glad to have the both of you here
D
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