Confused...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Jacksonville,VL
Posts: 2
Confused...
Well I am on day 7 and it's probably the hardest thing I have gone through in a long time. I'm going crazy telling myself not to pick up a bottle and just drink it down. Not sure where to start so I will sum up my story....
I am 21, Diagnosed with major depressive disorder/anxiety & alcohol dependency. Never used alcohol as a reliever until I turned 21, April of last year. Before I knew it, I was using it to drink away all my pain consistently. Every day. I am in the Navy and attempted to go through their rehab program but dropped out by the end of the first day. Some days I feel like I am never going to stay away from the alcohol, Even though I know it's ruining my life. I just feel like it helps so much better than the medicine.
I am 21, Diagnosed with major depressive disorder/anxiety & alcohol dependency. Never used alcohol as a reliever until I turned 21, April of last year. Before I knew it, I was using it to drink away all my pain consistently. Every day. I am in the Navy and attempted to go through their rehab program but dropped out by the end of the first day. Some days I feel like I am never going to stay away from the alcohol, Even though I know it's ruining my life. I just feel like it helps so much better than the medicine.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,279
Hi JacJ101, I am sorry to hear that you are struggling. My personal experience has been that removing alcohol from my life has had a very positive effect for me. It took some time to get used to it (mentally & physically).
I understand that it gives you temporary relief to some problems while your drinking but as you know the problems are still there (usually worse) once you come back to reality.
Can you share some of the reasons you are trying to quit, maybe some of the negative impacts that alcohol has had on your life? I find reminding myself of the damage it caused me & others very helpful, especially in the beginning.
Keep posting & sharing, you will find a lot of support here.
Welcome to SR
I understand that it gives you temporary relief to some problems while your drinking but as you know the problems are still there (usually worse) once you come back to reality.
Can you share some of the reasons you are trying to quit, maybe some of the negative impacts that alcohol has had on your life? I find reminding myself of the damage it caused me & others very helpful, especially in the beginning.
Keep posting & sharing, you will find a lot of support here.
Welcome to SR
Peace, Love, Sobriety
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Wilmington, DE
Posts: 1,549
Originally Posted by JacJ101 
Well I am on day 7 and it's probably the hardest thing I have gone through in a long time. I'm going crazy telling myself not to pick up a bottle and just drink it down. Not sure where to start so I will sum up my story....
I am 21, Diagnosed with major depressive disorder/anxiety & alcohol dependency. Never used alcohol as a reliever until I turned 21, April of last year. Before I knew it, I was using it to drink away all my pain consistently. Every day. I am in the Navy and attempted to go through their rehab program but dropped out by the end of the first day. Some days I feel like I am never going to stay away from the alcohol, Even though I know it's ruining my life. I just feel like it helps so much better than the medicine.
I am 21, Diagnosed with major depressive disorder/anxiety & alcohol dependency. Never used alcohol as a reliever until I turned 21, April of last year. Before I knew it, I was using it to drink away all my pain consistently. Every day. I am in the Navy and attempted to go through their rehab program but dropped out by the end of the first day. Some days I feel like I am never going to stay away from the alcohol, Even though I know it's ruining my life. I just feel like it helps so much better than the medicine.
You'll find many people here who are ready to help you and answer your questions.Second, is there any particular reason you dropped out of the rehab after only a day? I mean this isn't a problem you're going to fix overnight. It's gonna take some time, if you're really serious about stopping then you're gonna have to give it more then a day.
In reference to the bold comment, that's the alcohol convincing your body that it needs it. As a recovering alcoholic I know your brain will come up with anything to convince you that you need a drink. You may feel like the booze is helping you better than the medicine, but if you don't stop now you'll soon find out that it's killing you instead, quite literally.
You sound very troubled, much like all of us were and some still are. Please stick around here, there is a chat meeting at 9 pm. est (about an hour and a half away) and you're welcome to join us.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Chambersburg PA
Posts: 55
JacJ101,
What kind of relief are you seeking? Is it physical or mental? If you are on other medication and drinking I don't doubt you are confused. Alcohol alone is enough to confuse one if abused. Can you see a DR and be honest with him so he can address your issues of confusion? You have done a fantastic job getting through 7 days. I know it has been difficult, I am on the same time line as you are and it can get rough.If you feel it is better then medicine then maybe you will need to address that with a DR so they can do something diffrent. I wish you well.
What kind of relief are you seeking? Is it physical or mental? If you are on other medication and drinking I don't doubt you are confused. Alcohol alone is enough to confuse one if abused. Can you see a DR and be honest with him so he can address your issues of confusion? You have done a fantastic job getting through 7 days. I know it has been difficult, I am on the same time line as you are and it can get rough.If you feel it is better then medicine then maybe you will need to address that with a DR so they can do something diffrent. I wish you well.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Jacksonville,VL
Posts: 2
Well first I would like to say thanks for all your support, and the quick responses. I guess I should probabley go deeper into everything.
I was having trouble adapting to a different lifestyle Highschool to Navy. When I got into training for my job I asked for help and I was highly against medicine at the time, I was told if I wouldn't try medicine than I would not be able to get help. For about 3 years I was told the same thing, At the same time all the depression and feelings I had were building up. I put them in the back of my mind until eventually I snapped and made comments to someone about harming myself, I was put in a mental health center for 10 days and felt relief from the stress, They told me I HAD to be discharged and sent back, The next night I ended up in the hospital for self mutilation. I finally admitted that I was drinking heavily to cope with my other issues and they sent me to a rehab program but one of my biggest struggles is like I stated earlier, Adapting to new enviornments. I immediately felt uncomfortable in rehab and knew if I stayed another day then my anxiety would have got much worse. I honestly do not know how to trust anyone after going through all the things I have been, trying to get help and not getting it simply because I was against medicine. I obviously take it now and I do not really notice a difference. I also feel weak and vulnerable and I am scared to let someone take control of me even though I know I can't really pilot my own life at this point and time. I had to take an assesment to get into it and it was evident that my use of alcohol increased over time. I stopped going out and started drinking every night by myself and I guess I had 4 of the 7 signs of dependency. and yes, I do groups twice a week, See a psychiatrist and a psychologist.
I was having trouble adapting to a different lifestyle Highschool to Navy. When I got into training for my job I asked for help and I was highly against medicine at the time, I was told if I wouldn't try medicine than I would not be able to get help. For about 3 years I was told the same thing, At the same time all the depression and feelings I had were building up. I put them in the back of my mind until eventually I snapped and made comments to someone about harming myself, I was put in a mental health center for 10 days and felt relief from the stress, They told me I HAD to be discharged and sent back, The next night I ended up in the hospital for self mutilation. I finally admitted that I was drinking heavily to cope with my other issues and they sent me to a rehab program but one of my biggest struggles is like I stated earlier, Adapting to new enviornments. I immediately felt uncomfortable in rehab and knew if I stayed another day then my anxiety would have got much worse. I honestly do not know how to trust anyone after going through all the things I have been, trying to get help and not getting it simply because I was against medicine. I obviously take it now and I do not really notice a difference. I also feel weak and vulnerable and I am scared to let someone take control of me even though I know I can't really pilot my own life at this point and time. I had to take an assesment to get into it and it was evident that my use of alcohol increased over time. I stopped going out and started drinking every night by myself and I guess I had 4 of the 7 signs of dependency. and yes, I do groups twice a week, See a psychiatrist and a psychologist.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Newburgh
Posts: 868
Drinking will only make the depression and anxiety much worse over time. I know that from experience. Drinking while on medication for depression and anxiety can be very dangerous and can also make the depression and anxiety worse. This I also know from experience. Congrats on the 7 days to you. That first week is tough.
Keep reading and posting here. Research some of the programs people use to stay sober. They can make the difference for many people.
Don't ever give up.
God bless.
Keep reading and posting here. Research some of the programs people use to stay sober. They can make the difference for many people.
Don't ever give up.
God bless.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome Jac and way to go on 7 days!!
What Jocata said is true, that alcohol creates a vicious cycle of depression/anxiety which makes us want to drink, which causes more depression/anxiety. Have you talked to your docs about how much you were drinking?
Don't feel discouraged..... when I first got sober, alcohol was on my mind 24/7. I thought the obsession would never go away. It really does get better though. Just be patient with yourself and get as much support as you can!
What Jocata said is true, that alcohol creates a vicious cycle of depression/anxiety which makes us want to drink, which causes more depression/anxiety. Have you talked to your docs about how much you were drinking?
Don't feel discouraged..... when I first got sober, alcohol was on my mind 24/7. I thought the obsession would never go away. It really does get better though. Just be patient with yourself and get as much support as you can!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
I second the posters who said drinking will actually make the depression and anxiety worse - it gets to the point where you not only have the unserlying depression and anxiety, but you have added depression and anxiety from not drinking - which then 'gets fixed' but more drinking.
It's a really vicious cycle.
I really recommend you make full use of all the help available to you in your life, and here, and break that cycle Jac
D
It's a really vicious cycle.
I really recommend you make full use of all the help available to you in your life, and here, and break that cycle Jac
D
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