employer making me tell coworkers my problem
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: cleveland, oho
Posts: 57
I was drinking heavily,, they gave me two weeks off to "chill out" I came back kept drinking anf got a dui,, now that a matter of public record,, after that they sent me to rehab,, when I got back I was told I had to go to all six of my offices and explain what was going on with me and where I had been.... I am not making excuses for my alcoholism, I am an alcoholic,, but this was humiliating,,, and I did not question it because I still had a job after getting a dui and going to rehab,,, it was utterly humiliating,,,, DO NOT KNOW IF IT WAS LEGAL OR NOT... But I was told directly what to do and I did it. I could not afford to lose my job,,,, which I eventually did It was a nightmare
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: cleveland, oho
Posts: 57
this happened in march 2011,, i am bringing it up because 1) It still bothers me, I dont think it was right,, and i may consider legal action
2) Has anyone else been put in that position? It seemed to be too much for me at the time, and it was
2) Has anyone else been put in that position? It seemed to be too much for me at the time, and it was
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: North FLA
Posts: 115
Originally Posted by WakeUp 
Contact an attorney.
One who specializes in workplace and employment practices. That's entirely inappropriate. You shouldn't have to pay an atty to run this by them either.
Sorry to hear that that happened.
Best wishes
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
So let's say a lawyer does take this case... what does that mean for you, Ryan?
Yea, that was offensive for sure, humiliating, all that... violation of HIPPA? maybe... But what does a lawsuit get you?
Vindication?
Money?
A job?
Most importantly... well it help you stay sober?
I know for me, and I have some resentments about my "intervention", that I had to let all that go to find serenity, and happiness in sobriety. Maybe your experience will be different, but I recommend some serious self reflection and consideration.
Yea, that was offensive for sure, humiliating, all that... violation of HIPPA? maybe... But what does a lawsuit get you?
Vindication?
Money?
A job?
Most importantly... well it help you stay sober?
I know for me, and I have some resentments about my "intervention", that I had to let all that go to find serenity, and happiness in sobriety. Maybe your experience will be different, but I recommend some serious self reflection and consideration.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
thanks to Noelle for the correct spelling...HIPAA (i always think of Hippo)
I don't think this is a resentment, it's an illegal action by the employer and violation of ryans confidential medical information, plus it was a humiliating experience that still bothers him a year later. he should not feel any remorse to pursue action if he wishes to.
I don't think this is a resentment, it's an illegal action by the employer and violation of ryans confidential medical information, plus it was a humiliating experience that still bothers him a year later. he should not feel any remorse to pursue action if he wishes to.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,550
With respect I disagree with posts on this thread which urge you to assert your legal rights . The real question is what you personally would stand to gain by doing this. Is it likely that you may receive a substantial cash award? If so will this help you in your current situation, will this help you with your recovery? Can you handle the stress of a protracted court case and the publicity which that might involve? Is this going to be good for you? Help you to remain sober?
Despite there being a legal remedy, there is one thing which is vitally important. It is your legal remedy and your decision as to whether to assert it. You appear to have had a drinking problem. It seems to me that you should not do anything which might prejudice recovery from that. I'm not advising you to refrain from asserting any legal rights you may have. I'm just suggesting that before you do that you should think over very carefully what you have to gain by that and any possible problems which may arise. Good luck.
W.
Despite there being a legal remedy, there is one thing which is vitally important. It is your legal remedy and your decision as to whether to assert it. You appear to have had a drinking problem. It seems to me that you should not do anything which might prejudice recovery from that. I'm not advising you to refrain from asserting any legal rights you may have. I'm just suggesting that before you do that you should think over very carefully what you have to gain by that and any possible problems which may arise. Good luck.
W.
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: North FLA
Posts: 115
The decision to pursue should be made after consulting an atty. First learn more about what happened to you and the extent to which you were wronged. Then decide if the impact it would have on you is worth the cost.
Free consultation cant hurt here at all. No decisions until you get all the facts and then weigh your options.
I'm leaving out the fact that this knob might do the same or something worse to someone else. That aspect may or may not be something you want to take on.
Good luck and best wishes.
Free consultation cant hurt here at all. No decisions until you get all the facts and then weigh your options.
I'm leaving out the fact that this knob might do the same or something worse to someone else. That aspect may or may not be something you want to take on.
Good luck and best wishes.
SoberOutlook
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 3,089
I'm sorry that happened to you Ryan. I'm even sorrier that you are still bothered by it. If it were me, I'd work on the latter part. What happened happened, and there is no amount of attention, time, or money that can undo that. I have been wronged on many occasions in my life, including being wrongfully terminated after being accused of theft on the job. It has cast a pallor over my career at times. I considered suing, but now I'm glad I didn't. God used the situation to prune me to grow in a different direction. I still resent being wronged, but I accept that they are as imperfect as me as a human being, and I've moved on.
After reading all the posts, I realize this is probably not a popular answer. My question is simply this: what do you have to gain by pursuing this? Money? Satisfaction? Revenge? Take the higher road, turn the other cheek, and let God sort it out. Move on, and find peace, brother.
After reading all the posts, I realize this is probably not a popular answer. My question is simply this: what do you have to gain by pursuing this? Money? Satisfaction? Revenge? Take the higher road, turn the other cheek, and let God sort it out. Move on, and find peace, brother.
Guest
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 1,049
Ryan I'll be blunt.
Are you saying that all six of your offices had no idea that ryanriley had a drinking problem/alcoholic before you told them? Were they shocked to learn this?
You found the exercise of telling them "humiliating." Was telling them more humiliating to you than the antics you engaged in while drunk and away on business trips?
So you are saying that after you had to tell your 6 offices, you still continued to get drunk and it 'bothers' you still that your now x exployer forced you to tell the truth about yourself.
Didn't you also mention in a prior post that your picture was in the paper going into court on your DUI? You said everyone saw that and that was after you were forced to tell your 6 offices. I dunno Ryan, maybe you need to focus on what's next for you instead of looking back on what you ultimately brought on yourself.
Are you saying that all six of your offices had no idea that ryanriley had a drinking problem/alcoholic before you told them? Were they shocked to learn this?
You found the exercise of telling them "humiliating." Was telling them more humiliating to you than the antics you engaged in while drunk and away on business trips?
So you are saying that after you had to tell your 6 offices, you still continued to get drunk and it 'bothers' you still that your now x exployer forced you to tell the truth about yourself.
Didn't you also mention in a prior post that your picture was in the paper going into court on your DUI? You said everyone saw that and that was after you were forced to tell your 6 offices. I dunno Ryan, maybe you need to focus on what's next for you instead of looking back on what you ultimately brought on yourself.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,550
Lofty Ideals: This is just to say that I like your post and agree with it. For us recovering alcoholics the question is not what to do about the past (aside from "making amends" if you follow AA) but what to do about the present and the future. It's best to put the past behind us. At least that's what I try to do every day. Legal proceedings usually involve protracted delay, endless depositions, and if they go to trial, testimony which could be embarrassing and possibly harmful to the plaintiff, both socially and professionally. Yes, there are laws about discriminating due to illness but such laws may be difficult to enforce since potential employers often assert that a decision not to hire was made on grounds other than illness or the previous assertion of a complaint alleging discrimination. So a person should carefully consider the possible adverse effect of commencing litigation on future employment opportunities. Even if a plaintiff wins he or she may find life (and sobriety) difficult because of all the publicity. Money isn't everything. Sobriety is.
W.
W.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,503
Ryan, I definitely hope you consider talking to a lawyer.
For one thing, I think it will help you deal with the humiliation, to be able to pursue this and deal with it legally. It's about the principle.
For another thing, what your company did to you was shameful. They should not be allowed to do that to anyone else, ever.
For one thing, I think it will help you deal with the humiliation, to be able to pursue this and deal with it legally. It's about the principle.
For another thing, what your company did to you was shameful. They should not be allowed to do that to anyone else, ever.
*Grateful*
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Midwest
Posts: 2,619
After reading every post and even liking some in favor of a law suit, then reading LoftyIdeals, I think I agree w/ him. The reason is "resentments." See, I would have a major resentment toward the employeer, but the only way for it not to take me back out would be to forgive. The employeer was CLEARLY wrong, but what will it help to re-hash it? Let it go, forgive, and move on, oh, and learn from it. If anyone ever bullies you again to share with everyone, don't.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 64
Ryan,
My gut feeling tells me your previous employer checked with their own legal advisers before making you disclose you have/had a drinking problem to the other offices. After all, they gave you two weeks off and you continued to drink when you came back and even got a dui. They even allowed you to go to rehab.
It wouldn't hurt to get legal advise, but, perhaps it's best to move forward and on to a better future.
My gut feeling tells me your previous employer checked with their own legal advisers before making you disclose you have/had a drinking problem to the other offices. After all, they gave you two weeks off and you continued to drink when you came back and even got a dui. They even allowed you to go to rehab.
It wouldn't hurt to get legal advise, but, perhaps it's best to move forward and on to a better future.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,550
Lofty Ideals: I see you're getting lots of advice from a number of persons whom I respect. Some are urging you to sue or at least consult a lawyer because your former employer "shouldn't be allowed to get away with it". Others urge more caution. This website is primarily devoted to exploring ways to help others in recovery. Shouldn't that be the guideline here? What course of action would help you most in your recovery? You've been through a lot.Now isn't it time for you to think of yourself, of what's best for you? It's all up to you. Would going after this former employer help you? Increase the chances of your achieving true sobriety, resuming a truly productive and happy life? It's for you and you alone to decide these things.
W.
W.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Queens, NY
Posts: 267
I won't get into the the legalities of the issue beyond pointing out that this won't be a black and white case. It depends on size of employer, nature of mandated coverage (as in is alcoholism a recognized illness by law in your state), potentially ERISSA, what was in the public domain and what wasn't. If you haven't noticed, I am in the move on camp. Resentment was my drinking downfall, and I avoid it like the plague. I will try and give you a counter argument that while it may not be the case, is plausible enough to at least get you to possibly forgive.
I run a healthcare company ironically, and with that comes equal obligations to each and every employee. That said however, I am human and I am compassionate. If I had an employee struggling with alcoholism, i'd want to afford them every opportunity to heal including time off (whether scheduled or not). In that process though I may very well have to make up excuses about his or her abscence, I may even catch a lot of flak for giving certain privilidges that aren't afforded to everybody. To be clear, because you or anybody is an alcoholic doesn't mean you are entitled to more time off (paid or otherwise) than anybody else, especially not more than somebody who has been serving the company flawlessly. Even with all that, I would be compassionate and cover for them. But if after all that, it blew up in my face and publicly, I would demand an apology not only to me but to all those who were not given the same leeway. This is not to poopoo you, remember I am an alcoholic just like you. But you must recognize that when our friends, employers or communities stand behind us and our sobriety, they do it at grave and great risk to their reputations, emotions and well being. Their sense of betrayal and loss may have been just as bad.
I am not saying what they did was right. But on your path to recovery you will undoubtedly seek forgiveness and understanding from those you have wronged. What better way to embark on that forgiveness than by you doing the same of your ex-employer? Try and see the sun behind the clouds.
I run a healthcare company ironically, and with that comes equal obligations to each and every employee. That said however, I am human and I am compassionate. If I had an employee struggling with alcoholism, i'd want to afford them every opportunity to heal including time off (whether scheduled or not). In that process though I may very well have to make up excuses about his or her abscence, I may even catch a lot of flak for giving certain privilidges that aren't afforded to everybody. To be clear, because you or anybody is an alcoholic doesn't mean you are entitled to more time off (paid or otherwise) than anybody else, especially not more than somebody who has been serving the company flawlessly. Even with all that, I would be compassionate and cover for them. But if after all that, it blew up in my face and publicly, I would demand an apology not only to me but to all those who were not given the same leeway. This is not to poopoo you, remember I am an alcoholic just like you. But you must recognize that when our friends, employers or communities stand behind us and our sobriety, they do it at grave and great risk to their reputations, emotions and well being. Their sense of betrayal and loss may have been just as bad.
I am not saying what they did was right. But on your path to recovery you will undoubtedly seek forgiveness and understanding from those you have wronged. What better way to embark on that forgiveness than by you doing the same of your ex-employer? Try and see the sun behind the clouds.
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