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-   -   LOVE sobriety, do I need further help? (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/247472-love-sobriety-do-i-need-further-help.html)

29prayers 01-30-2012 11:29 AM

LOVE sobriety, do I need further help?
 
I'm looking for some opinions on this. I am coming up on 90 days sober and since I quit I have loved every second of it. I'm typically a very strong willed person in general so I don't have much trouble with things once I decide to do it, and though I was a horrible alcoholic I have to say that so far, being sober hasn't been a tribulation, just an enlightening journey that gets better with each day.

Since getting sober, I have filled my time with hobbies, am currently quitting smoking (after 10 years) and have started exercising daily. I have never been happier!! Life is beautiful now and I appreciate every little thing.

Now my question: I got sober on my own, just decided one day I'd had enough and haven't touched a drop since. I don't go out much, but the one time I have gone to a bar (NYE) I had no problem saying no and going home sober after a great night. I am a homebody/nerd who likes staying home and reading rather than going out. Do you guys think that I should still get into a program or is it possible to just keep doing what I'm doing? I mean it's working for me so far, but I see some people on here who are adamant about going to AA or some type of group for every case.

My sobriety is the most important thing to me and I know if I ever struggled I would seek further help, but I haven't so far (knock on wood) and I'm wondering what you all think about it or if anyone else had a pretty easy time getting sober. I don't want this to come off the wrong way, I think for me it was so easy to stay sober once my mind was clear enough to remember how horrible of a person I was and how sad my days were. I'm just speaking from my experience. Thanks for any opinions!

SoCalDude 01-30-2012 11:42 AM

You're doing exactly what you should, HOWEVER, do NOT get overconfident. This is going to be a life battle. I am the same exact way, homebody/nerd too :) I think going to an AA meeting once a week at least, just as a refresher of your commitment, will help keep you on this new journey called life that you've found! I have seen people relapse heavily after 90 days, 120 days, 3 years, 10 years.. it's all you to decide if you can keep it up on your own, many of us cannot, me included.

Congrats on 90 days, it's a big milestone in recovery! Treat yourself to a nice Sunday Brunch at Taps this weekend! Just skip the bloody marys :) Iced tea is your friend!

MentalLoop 01-30-2012 11:50 AM

29Prayers,

Only difference between your story and mine is I am at 60+ days, and I don't read much. Since my sobriety I haven't been to a single meeting, and have only read/posted on this site. All in all, like you, once my head is there, I don't have problems following through on my personal commitments.

Like you, I have questioned if a broader program is required to ensure my success given my success thus far. I haven't resolved it yet, but this is what makes me think it might be a good idea:

1. I still don't resent or have negative feelings toward alcohol. I am afraid that its romance might convince me to do something stupid (drink) down the line.
2. My wife who is only a social drinker....well...still drinks. That might be temptation I haven't faced yet.
3. Everybody I tell, and I tell everybody, insists I am not an alcoholic. I probably need somebody/people who are not drinking the coolaid to tell me I am.

SoCalDude 01-30-2012 11:54 AM


Originally Posted by MentalLoop (Post 3262171)
29Prayers,

3. Everybody I tell, and I tell everybody, insists I am not an alcoholic. I probably need somebody/people who are not drinking the coolaid to tell me I am.

I fight that one a lot.. Luckily, I've convinced myself that only I can make that decision. :)

Terminally Unique 01-30-2012 12:27 PM


Originally Posted by SoCalDude (Post 3262160)
You're doing exactly what you should, HOWEVER, do NOT get overconfident. This is going to be a life battle.

Only if you let it be.

Lost3000 01-30-2012 12:46 PM


Originally Posted by MentalLoop (Post 3262171)
29Prayers,

Only difference between your story and mine is I am at 60+ days, and I don't read much. Since my sobriety I haven't been to a single meeting, and have only read/posted on this site. All in all, like you, once my head is there, I don't have problems following through on my personal commitments.

Like you, I have questioned if a broader program is required to ensure my success given my success thus far. I haven't resolved it yet, but this is what makes me think it might be a good idea:

1. I still don't resent or have negative feelings toward alcohol. I am afraid that its romance might convince me to do something stupid (drink) down the line.
2. My wife who is only a social drinker....well...still drinks. That might be temptation I haven't faced yet.
3. Everybody I tell, and I tell everybody, insists I am not an alcoholic. I probably need somebody/people who are not drinking the coolaid to tell me I am.

OMG. Me too. Only...

1. I resent those who drink with no problem. I want to be normal!!
2. My husband is a very very casual drinker. In my 30 days sober (today!!!), he's had one beer. One. Freaking. Beer. It's not in the house and he could care less. That's good for me. So if he has one when we are out, I'm pretty sure no temptation will be there, although I might find him more annoying.
3. WTH? Me too. So this brings me to my response---

I'd go to an AA mtg. I'm not doing the steps, etc. But I went for the social aspect and to get my chip. I love that. Also, it reminds me that I can be right back where I started. Being around people just like me who have the same struggle, well, it made me feel better, not alone.

Good luck to you.

Nirvana1 01-30-2012 01:09 PM

My experience was very similar to yours. I had wanted to stop for a long time and then was able to early Dec 2010 after a move away from everyone I use to drink with. I was able to stay sober for about 90 days on my own will power and coming to SR, but to do this I was literally staying in my apartment every night and weekend. Basically, I had cut myself off from the world and was pretty sick of doing that and almost threw in the towel on sobriety.

I literally picked a day to start drinking again, which was after a week of training for work on the east coast. Almost everyone at the training function was drinking except for me and one other girl. I was making a point to tell everyone I wasn't drinking because I was not thinking of sobriety as long term, but just a break from my old out of control lifestyle.

Well on the 4th night after a group dinner, the girl asked me if I was in AA. At first I was offended and said, "Why would I be in AA? I'm only 28, isn't that for older alcoholics?" She then replied, "Well I've been sober in AA for 6 years and I'm only 25."

After that I really started picking her brain and finally realized that going to AA could only help. A couple weeks later I got the courage to go to AA and it has changed my life forever. I was able to learn about alcoholism and how to stay sober. I wouldn't have been able to do anything on my own without the help from a sponsor, help from other alcoholics, and being able to talk to others who were in my situation.

What I believe is that many can stop drinking by their own will power, but it is almost impossible to stay stopped. Some stay stopped for a couple hours, while others may be able to stay stopped for months. My breaking point was around 90 days before I was lucky enough to get a little help from the guy upstairs. I hope you can get the same help that I got because in AA I learned to enjoy life sober, and not just abstain by closing myself off from the world like I was doing before.

augustwest 01-30-2012 01:15 PM


Originally Posted by 29prayers (Post 3262147)
but I see some people on here who are adamant about going to AA or some type of group for every case.

I'm wary of such people and i'm a member of a 12 step program, sponsor guys, and attend meetings regularly. There's not one way for everyone. whatever works for you works. i would just be vigilant and aware. there was no way i could've done this without aa and na but i was very very sick individual.

Dee74 01-30-2012 02:25 PM

Welcome 29years :)

what you're doing is obviously working for you, you've made a commitment to seek help if you need it - you're sober and happy. Thats it right there :)

I think you're the best judge of what you need/don't need :)

D


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