|
Open for suggestions...please I love being sober, there is nothing like being sober. I like how I feel, the clarity I get. I am actually able to follow through on things. BUT WHY CANT I STAY SOBER!!!!!!! I had 21 days yesterday and bam I went to a concert there was an open bar and instaed of leaving which I almost did or call another sober person which I almost did too. No not me I thought I could drink a few and stop. What kills me is I am just picking up my self financially. I got some money yesterday, for a job I did . And I spent most of it, after the bar was not open and they bagan to charge. WHY????? Im happy I made it to work today, but im not all there mentally How do you people stay sober...How???? Sometimes I even feel like God doesnt want me sober... |
I went through a bunch of counseling to learn how to deal with life, since I was doing a pretty poor job of it by drinking away troubles, in celebration, for boredom, etc.. Also (as simple as it sounds), I took drinking off the table as an option, it just had to be a forever thing for me. |
Originally Posted by flutter
(Post 3262060)
I went through a bunch of counseling to learn how to deal with life, since I was doing a pretty poor job of it by drinking away troubles, in celebration, for boredom, etc.. Also (as simple as it sounds), I took drinking off the table as an option, it just had to be a forever thing for me. |
Hate to answer a question with another question, but maybe it will be useful for you to consider this: What are you going to change or do differently in your life to stay sober? Have you considered AA, therapy, learning more about addiction, posting here more often, replacing activities in which you used to drink with other activities, etc? If nothing changes, then nothing changes... Keep reading and posting, we're glad to have you here! |
Originally Posted by WantToHeal
(Post 3262085)
Hate to answer a question with another question, but maybe it will be useful for you to consider this: What are you going to change or do differently in your life to stay sober? Have you considered AA, therapy, learning more about addiction, posting here more often, replacing activities in which you used to drink with other activities, etc? If nothing changes, then nothing changes... Keep reading and posting, we're glad to have you here! |
I personally refused to put myself in situations where I might be tempted to drink for about 2 months until I felt that I was strong enough to say no. As boring as this might be, I had to put my sobriety before fun and friends to make sure that I was ok. Instead of being tempted to go out, I would make plans for myself early the next morning and because I had obligations, I would use that as an excuse to stay home if necessary. At 21 days sober I'm not sure that it's a good idea to be going to places where they have an open bar. Think about the potential threat to your sobriety with every choice you make as far as going out BEFORE hand, and if you think there's a chance you may drink, simply don't go. Stay home, go to the gym, see a movie. |
Originally Posted by 29prayers
(Post 3262105)
I personally refused to put myself in situations where I might be tempted to drink for about 2 months until I felt that I was strong enough to say no. As boring as this might be, I had to put my sobriety before fun and friends to make sure that I was ok. Instead of being tempted to go out, I would make plans for myself early the next morning and because I had obligations, I would use that as an excuse to stay home if necessary. At 21 days sober I'm not sure that it's a good idea to be going to places where they have an open bar. Think about the potential threat to your sobriety with every choice you make as far as going out BEFORE hand, and if you think there's a chance you may drink, simply don't go. Stay home, go to the gym, see a movie. I knew I should not have gone yesterday, I just really like this singer and thought I could just go see her and go home. Now, I see that it does not work like that. :c020: |
Originally Posted by flutter
(Post 3262060)
I went through a bunch of counseling to learn how to deal with life, since I was doing a pretty poor job of it by drinking away troubles, in celebration, for boredom, etc.. Also (as simple as it sounds), I took drinking off the table as an option, it just had to be a forever thing for me. |
Why cant this thick skull get it? I know what I need to do yet I dont do it, what the hell is wrong with me? I have a loving family and many friends, a good future, if I stay sober. I wish I could take myself out to the side walk and kick my own ass.....I need to Man UP!! |
Hey Tony...my skull is pretty thick too. I've been asking myself that same question the past month or so..I think UofI2008 makes a very true statement which applies to both you and me. Jim |
Yes Jim, I really like that, I forced my self to identify as a non drinker, I love that, |
I have heard of people who identify there is a problem, look into it, go to a meeting. and start working the program, no constant relapses. How I wish I could be that way. |
Haha, speaking of this, I remember many times in the midst of my crazy drinking being SO jealous of people who mentioned they didn't drink...how bad I wanted to be like them, have their strong will or just their ease of simply being a non-drinker. It sure feels awesome to be in the club now! You can do it Tony, turn that hard-headedness towards drinking! :wild |
Originally Posted by mynameistony
(Post 3262093)
I know I am an alcoholic, I just cant seem to stay sober, no matter how hard I try.
Originally Posted by mynameistony
(Post 3262093)
...bam I went to a concert there was an open bar... Don't get me wrong, please. I'm not trying to be clever here. It's just that at around 2 weeks sober I went to a concert also - only went because it was planned long before I got sober and I didn't want to upset any feelings from those who expected me to go. In fact, everything told me not to go. Every hair on my neck said "you're a bloody idiot if you walk out the door", none-the-less, off I went. I didn't drink (which is an absolute miracle) but I could have so easily, to the point that as soon as I got there I had booze handed to me. Thankfully my wife was there and I passed it off, in fact my wife got smashed on all the drinks that I had to quietly pass off so my friends would be offended. I gotta say... every moment I spent at that show, watching all my friends getting pi$$ed, smelling the weed in the air, and feeling the all to familiar alcoholic vibe of being at a live venue again... Jesus... Getting out of there without drinking was like building a rocketship to Mars from scratch, in a rowboat, wearing a blindfold. Hard as hell. It took only that 1 experience to tell me not to tempt the devil again, so I didn't for around a year. I'm a working musician, made my living in nightclubs and concerts since my 18th birthday. I'm 44 now. Guess what? I stayed unemployed for over a year after experiencing that. Turned down some real serious money as well during that time. Why? Because my frikin life depended on staying sober, nothing less, and I knew that while I was still learning how to cope with life sober, being around booze was about as dumb as entering a foot race with a box of rocks tied around my ankles. And besides that, every sober musician I asked told me that they'd still be drunks (if not dead) had they not taken a breather from "the life" long enough to get their ducks in a row. You know that Nietzsche quote that talks about staring into the abyss long enough that it stares back at you? Amigo, if you haven't ever heard of that quote, you definitely experienced the meaning behind it at that concert. Just MHO and advice having a long time (25 years) as a practicing pi$$tank, but you'd do well to see that without a solid program of recovery and some time under your belt working through said program, being in the proximity of booze is what a few in my group like to call Obvious Fail #1. Stick close to your study group. I recommend Rational Recovery also. I use both and between the 2 I've been sober for longer than I have been since puberty. Make a plan to stay the hell out of Dodge, in other words DON'T go near the parties, clubs, or any place that you would normally drink at... until you're confident enough in your program and you've developed tools and strategies that can be employed the minute it gets squirelly. Again, just MHO. |
Originally Posted by Peter G
(Post 3262155)
Do you consider attending a concert with an open bar "trying hard to stay sober"? Because it's not. Full stop. Don't get me wrong, please. I'm not trying to be clever here. It's just that at around 2 weeks sober I went to a concert also - only went because it was planned long before I got sober and I didn't want to upset any feelings from those who expected me to go. In fact, everything told me not to go. Every hair on my neck said "you're a bloody idiot if you walk out the door", none-the-less, off I went. I didn't drink (which is an absolute miracle) but I could have so easily, to the point that as soon as I got there I had booze handed to me. Thankfully my wife was there and I passed it off, in fact my wife got smashed on all the drinks that I had to quietly pass off so my friends would be offended. I gotta say... every moment I spent at that show, watching all my friends getting pi$$ed, smelling the weed in the air, and feeling the all to familiar alcoholic vibe of being at a live venue again... Jesus... Getting out of there without drinking was like building a rocketship to Mars from scratch, in a rowboat, wearing a blindfold. Hard as hell. It took only that 1 experience to tell me not to tempt the devil again, so I didn't for around a year. I'm a working musician, made my living in nightclubs and concerts since my 18th birthday. I'm 44 now. Guess what? I stayed unemployed for over a year after experiencing that. Turned down some real serious money as well during that time. Why? Because my frikin life depended on staying sober, nothing less, and I knew that while I was still learning how to cope with life sober, being around booze was about as dumb as entering a foot race with a box of rocks tied around my ankles. And besides that, every sober musician I asked told me that they'd still be drunks (if not dead) had they not taken a breather from "the life" long enough to get their ducks in a row. You know that Nietzsche quote that talks about staring into the abyss long enough that it stares back at you? Amigo, if you haven't ever heard of that quote, you definitely experienced the meaning behind it at that concert. Just MHO and advice having a long time (25 years) as a practicing pi$$tank, but you'd do well to see that without a solid program of recovery and some time under your belt working through said program, being in the proximity of booze is what a few in my group like to call Obvious Fail #1. Stick close to your study group. I recommend Rational Recovery also. I use both and between the 2 I've been sober for longer than I have been since puberty. Make a plan to stay the hell out of Dodge, in other words DON'T go near the parties, clubs, or any place that you would normally drink at... until you're confident enough in your program and you've developed tools and strategies that can be employed the minute it gets squirelly. Again, just MHO. |
The abyss quote confuses me, can someone please elaborate? |
If you study something for long enough, it changes you and you need to be careful to see that you do not become exactly like the abyss - if that abyss has negative characteristics you too will adapt and absorb those characteristics. That is my understanding anyway. Jim |
The entire quote, I believe, is... "Battle not with monsters, lest ye become a monster, and if you gaze into the abyss, the abyss gazes also into you." Nietzsche The quote has many different meanings and applications, depending on how deep and subjective you want to go with it. I apply the quote to alcoholism as a reminder that by affording unnecessary attention to the thing that is killing me, I'm putting myself at an unnecessary risk for being killed. ;) It's a bit like a few other AA slogans, another one that comes to mind is... "Go to a barber shop long enough and eventually you will end up with a haircut." A few AA cats told me the Nietzsche quote as wisdom to be remembered - after I asked about what I should do, considering my working in bars. It spoke volumes to me. As it applies to us booze hounds, it's just basically stating that you would be far more successful in avoiding harm by keeping the thing that wants to harm you far away from your proximity. |
When I decided to lose weight, I asked a person who had lost 80 pounds to give me 2 direct suggestions, he said embrace hunger and pain from working out because those are signs your body is changing and the second was never eat after 7pm. They have worked. Can someone please offer two direct suggestions or more on staying sober, so a dumb ass like me can understand |
I can offer you two 1. don't drink no matter what 2. reach out and use all the support you have to help accomplish #1 :) It took me 15 years to get it through my thick skull too - I didn't really want to change my life, but I eventually, finally, accepted it was necessary - and I'm glad I did Tony - it was the making of me :) welcome to SR :) D |
| All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:10 PM. |