Scared
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Northern CA
Posts: 1,733
Scared
I need your support and prayers (for those of you that pray). Last night my boyfriend announced that he doesn't want to pay another month for the SLE I am in. Although I agree with him on some levels (the heater is locked and I am often cold, we get our food that was "included" in the $750 from the food pantry, my tiny bed is uncomfortable and I share a small room with another girl, etc.)
He paid fist and last so I should be able to stay until the end of Febuary. However, I know the lady is going to try to kick me out early for the lack of the 6 month commitment. He wants me to stay with him until we find me a new place. I won't go to another SLE after this experience.
The thing is that I am scared. It's so soon and I really haven't got a strong AA network yet. Hell, I'm still searching for the right sponsor. I like being around people often. I am just getting to care for the girls I live with. There's a lot of "Positive Pressure" around here to go to meetings and house meetings and house Big Book studies.
I don't feel ready to be on my own but I don't really have a choice because I haven't found a job yet. Any golden words of wisdom that will make me feel better???
wtf:
He paid fist and last so I should be able to stay until the end of Febuary. However, I know the lady is going to try to kick me out early for the lack of the 6 month commitment. He wants me to stay with him until we find me a new place. I won't go to another SLE after this experience.
The thing is that I am scared. It's so soon and I really haven't got a strong AA network yet. Hell, I'm still searching for the right sponsor. I like being around people often. I am just getting to care for the girls I live with. There's a lot of "Positive Pressure" around here to go to meetings and house meetings and house Big Book studies.
I don't feel ready to be on my own but I don't really have a choice because I haven't found a job yet. Any golden words of wisdom that will make me feel better???
wtf: 
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,967
Some things to think about:
How much sober/clean time do you really have?
Is boyfriend sober? In NA or Nar Anon?
What are your real fears?
What step are you on? 4 + 5 is where we find ourselves and become less self-centered....stopping stepwork on any step gets us in a funk....get through the steps; practice daily...
You're a great positive cheerleader for others; how much cheering/support are you getting & from where?
What's your plan, if you move? What support will you have? Sponsor? Network? Meetings in place you consistently attend?
Work plans? Income? Food stamps? Financial assistance?
What if you & bf have problems? What's the backup plan?
You're in a supportive environment. It's safe there. If you have solid support, a program of recovery, & solid plans, it's still your life. Can the SLE help you find work?
Yeah, it's a little scary, time for some deep thinking before you make your move.
I wish you all the best!
Prayers,
How much sober/clean time do you really have?
Is boyfriend sober? In NA or Nar Anon?
What are your real fears?
What step are you on? 4 + 5 is where we find ourselves and become less self-centered....stopping stepwork on any step gets us in a funk....get through the steps; practice daily...
You're a great positive cheerleader for others; how much cheering/support are you getting & from where?
What's your plan, if you move? What support will you have? Sponsor? Network? Meetings in place you consistently attend?
Work plans? Income? Food stamps? Financial assistance?
What if you & bf have problems? What's the backup plan?
You're in a supportive environment. It's safe there. If you have solid support, a program of recovery, & solid plans, it's still your life. Can the SLE help you find work?
Yeah, it's a little scary, time for some deep thinking before you make your move.
I wish you all the best!
Prayers,
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Northern CA
Posts: 1,733
Hi SugarBear -
I have 62 days sober. I got out of treatment on the 30th of December and moved into this SLE on the 1st.
I have had a sponsor for a couple weeks. However, she is too sick and shouldn't have a sponsee. She's on lots of medicine and has clinical depression. So...I haven't done any step work yet. I am calling a woman today to see if she will be my new sponsor. I admire her a lot and believe I will learn a great deal from her.
I should get my food stamps today. I have medical insurance. I am scheduled for an interview for general assistance on the 11th. That's only $600 combined income monthly and the rent here is $750.
I go to a meeting everyday and I know a lot of people there by name. But I haven't really gotten to know individuals as I go with the same group each day to meetings.
My real fear is that I will slide into a depression and stop being social which will lead me to using again. Isolation is my fear.
The SLE owner promised a lot of personal attention but that's just not true. We barely speak. From what I've head most SLE owners are in it for the money and it appears from my experience that this is true.
I have 62 days sober. I got out of treatment on the 30th of December and moved into this SLE on the 1st.
I have had a sponsor for a couple weeks. However, she is too sick and shouldn't have a sponsee. She's on lots of medicine and has clinical depression. So...I haven't done any step work yet. I am calling a woman today to see if she will be my new sponsor. I admire her a lot and believe I will learn a great deal from her.
I should get my food stamps today. I have medical insurance. I am scheduled for an interview for general assistance on the 11th. That's only $600 combined income monthly and the rent here is $750.
I go to a meeting everyday and I know a lot of people there by name. But I haven't really gotten to know individuals as I go with the same group each day to meetings.
My real fear is that I will slide into a depression and stop being social which will lead me to using again. Isolation is my fear.
The SLE owner promised a lot of personal attention but that's just not true. We barely speak. From what I've head most SLE owners are in it for the money and it appears from my experience that this is true.
Its_me_jen
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Salina, Ks
Posts: 8,547
If you're capable of working (or if you're on disability or something like that, that works too) an Oxford House might be great for you. I lived in mine for 2+ years and it was one of the best thing I did for myself.
I hear you saying you don't think you're ready. That's a concern.
And here's the deal, you can stay sober through anything. Whatever happens, you can do this.
I hear you saying you don't think you're ready. That's a concern.
And here's the deal, you can stay sober through anything. Whatever happens, you can do this.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Northern CA
Posts: 1,733
Paper Dolls- I will look into the Oxford House. I know you have mentioned that before AND you are all right. I can stay sober no matter what. xox Love you guys. Thanks for the support!
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