SoberForMySon

The past three months I started drinking every day, all day. Beer. I easily have 15 or more a day. I don't get sick or hungover. But this has to stop. I could never tell my husband how bad it is. He might leave me. I have decided to stop. I have ten beers left. I am not buying more. I have valium to take for a few days, but after that, I am so scared of the anxiety and the stress, it is why I drank in the first place. I am not interested in meetings since I can't tell hubby. But I plan to come here a lot and stay busy.

SoberForMySon

I can't bring myself to dump the beer out, but I want to. Only had one sip of the first one, and I am not even into it. I just want to be done and get healthy.

doggonecarl

Welcome to SR. Stopping sounds like a wise and timely choice.

You're drinking 15 beers a day and you don't think you husband has any clue? I hope you rethink this. SR is great but it would be nice if you could count on your spouse's support, watch the baby while you seek face to face support.

Good luck.

SoberForMySon

He knows I drink and will be proud and supportive when I quit he has three years sober. I just don't want to tell him the extent and how I hid it.

tanja

Welcome SoberForMySon,

You are not alone. Most of us drank as a coping mechanism to deal with stress and anxiety. But. ultimately the drinking only makes it worse - much worse. You will find much wisdom, love and support here. It takes much courage to admit you have a problem and post here. Take comfort in the fact that it takes courage to change and you are far stronger than you realize.

SoberForMySon

I dumped out the beer I had opened. What about the other nine? I hate to waste anything, but I want it out of my house.

SoberForMySon

Thank you from another huge dog lover!!!! I know my dogs will help.

tanja

I would dump out the beer!

HenryKrinkle

Welcome to SR! You came to the right place. You will find a lot of support here.

Congratulations on your decision to stop drinking.

I have a lot of anxiety and stress too. Stopping drinking was hard because taking away the alcohol exposed a ton of the anxiety that was previously being covered up. Now I am almost a month sober and I feel better than I when I was drinking. It wasn't a smooth road, but the hard work and hard times are definitely paying off. I went to my doctor and got a prescription for an anti-depressant and have started seeing a therapist for my GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder), both of which have helped me a ton.

I would tend to agree with Carl. Getting the support of your husband seems like it would be really helpful.

SoberForMySon

Oh I will. He will be happy. My friends back home will fall over! Most of them are drunks, so it is probably good I moved.

SoberForMySon

Since I only had one sip and dumped it out, and obviously wont be having any more, can today be my sober date, the day I quit? And yeah, I am going to put the beer in the outside trash that gets picked up today.

MsJax

Hi Sober Dump it all! It's not wasting anything except your life!

Welcome to SR, I hope you read and post lots. Make a plan for yourself, hopefully as you become more comfortable with your decision you can tell your husband~I feel honesty really helps in recovery. It's such a relief to quit drinking. God I'm thankful.

SoberForMySon

I am just not going to tell him how bad it was, that's all. I am ashamed. Okay time to put my robe on and chuck that beer. Man that's gonna be hard!

SoberForMySon

Damn near killed me but I chucked it.

ownmybehavior

Glad you're here Sober. The decision to get healthy is a difficult one that I struggle with myself. Your admitting that you have a problem is the first step though and please believe that you CAN do this.

The help and support from your husband will make the process easier and I hope that you choose to involve him. Is it necessary to be very specific about the exact qty of alcohol you consumed when talking with him about your decision? I don't think so. Perhaps explain that this is a decision that you made because you want to be healthier and that he inspired you to be strong. I don't think that either doing this on the sly or being dishonest with him are going to help you to succeed but, your main goal should be to get and stay sober for your family and your health.

You are among friends here and posting often will help. It has me. I'm on day 13 and only on the beginning of my long journey. The notion that I have to rebuild myself on firmer ground has been a difficult pill to swallow but it's going down one way or the other. I cannot fail.

Good luck and "protect your sobriety".

SoberForMySon

I plan to do just what you said. ask him for support and tell him I want to be healthy. The thing I fear most is the anxiety. I am in treatment for it, and coping better some days. But it is unbearable. That said my drinking was making me anxious too. Last night I got drunk and my mom called and I said things I regret. I have gained weight.

SoberForMySon

Guzzling ice water!!!! Took the valium to hopefully make today easier. I have sleeping pills for insomnia. I want to clean my house finally and train my show dogs and take walks and go back to school. I am so much more productive when I have even a few sober hours in the mornings!!! I can do this.

ownmybehavior

Do you have any sense of relief when you wake up in the morning after not drinking the night before? Try to think of how it felt the last time you woke up after not drinking the night before. No guilt and remorse for what I did when drunk is the tiny bit of satisfaction is what I am trying to build on. I am finding and focusing on any tiny ray of sunshine at all and I will pop a tent in that and live in it.

I'm sorry for the anxiety that you feel. Treatment for that sounds helpful. I hope that you find some peace. Please fill your life with those that make it better and value the positive relationships.

Today is what you must focus on. Get through today and tonight without drinking. One day at a time.

You CAN do this. You have help here. Keep posting.

SoberForMySon

Thankyou so much!

SoberForMySon

Hanging in there. A little jumpy, always am without the booze. Keep looking out to see if the trash came. So thirsty! Water, water, water. Watching a Law & Order marathon. Had food.