Jason1

Hello, this is my first time on your site. I was googling for ideas on how to drink again (been sober since Last august) but this time with more control. I came across sr and here I am. I am 36, Am still married (barely), and have three great kids. I have been drinking heavily off and on since college, and finally hit another new low on august 12 (my wife was ready to take the kids and leave). I haven't had a drink in 162 days. Recently it has been more difficult to resist though. I am considering going back to smoking weed just for some type of high. Has anyone tried this before? I went to two aa mtgs back in aug and hated every second. I cannot stop trying to come up with the perfect plan to manage my drinking. I think it is probably impossible though.i have social anxiety disorder and alcohol was my crutch in any social situation as well as the normal drinking at home by myself.

Zebra1275

I cannot stop trying to come up with the perfect plan to manage my drinking.

A million alcoholics have tried this already, over and over and over.

cracked

Welcome Jason. I've tried to manage my drinking a million times too. It still crosses my mind sometimes. But I've never been able to be happy with drinking a "social amount". I don't want one or two glasses of wine, I want one or two bottles of wine. It's how I manage my general anxiety too, so I totally understand how hard it is. Good luck to you, I hope you keep posting!

ElegantlyWasted

Welcome. When I was doing AA some of the members referred to this as "marijuana maintenance". It did not seem to correlate very well with prolonged sobriety. As far as Social Anxiety; how bout seeing a doc for some real stuff that works with what you're trying to do. CBT is also effective.

oceanut

Hi Jason. I too am new here. I was looking to see how long withdrawl symptoms last. I stopped drinking about 6 weeks ago. Then after 3 weeks I decided to have a glass or 5 with my hubby whom is away often on business. Of course you can't just have a beer or 2!!! Ha ha ha ha but I know this. I had a beer. I love my beer. You know what I never even enjoyed it. It actually tasted awefull. But you know how it goes you just drink to carry on until you out of it, as always. But I knew this how it was going to be. I now know I won't drink again for a long time.

Going through the withdrawls deters me.
Jason I too smoked weed for years. It became as if they were cigarettes. I started drinking as well. No, I decided only one allowed. I stopped smoking and drank.
Jason I too have social lacks, for want of a word. I just don't enjoy crowds, gatherings and such. It's just who we are. Jason I don't know you well enough to give advice. I too cannot go to AA meetings. I did try. Not my scene. I get stressed. Google for all online AA sites and keep in touch with them all. I find this most helpfull. One thing I think going this alone is you'll miss out on the encouragement to get to know God and have His help in your life. Ask God to help you and lean on Him any time of the day or night. I have friends and family praying for me. I know this is making it easier for me. The want has gone!!
I must congratulate you on coming this far without a drink. Well done. Hang in there!! Jason as far as the smoking goes, I'm not sure it's a good idea. We have adictive make ups and will get hooked on whatever we try. I just don't know you well enough to say. But hey, you doing so great.
Chat again. Yvette

e

Dee74

Welcome Jason

I've never met anyone here who was glad they returned to drinking.

I think there's an invisible line for most of us & drinking the way we do - and when we cross it, we simply can't go back again.

For me I had to do more than just not drink in order to be happy sober.

I had a lot of baggage I had to deal with, a lot of demons I needed to face, a lot of skills I needed to learn how to do sober (relax, enjoy socialising, get through bad times, learn to celebrate soberly etc etc)

All that takes time and effort. It didn't all fall into my lap simply because I stopped drinking.

I see you've been sober for 162 days but you're still looking for ways to escape...

I wonder what other changes you've made to your life since you got sober?

D

Dee74

Welcome to you too Yvette

D

BillyPilgrim

Hi Jason
Like everyone, I had that I would like just one drink mentality. I loved drink, I went to AA and got my act together, met a wonderful woman and thought I could have the occasional beer. I eventually found myself slipping a bottle of wine in secret. The last illusion of the Alky is that he or she can return to sensible drinking. You can, only sensible = 0

As for AA meets, I didnt like the first lot, I saw they did me good, but thought it was a short term cure, 3 months and I could go back into normal life.

That doesnt work either. I have started going to another group, and I enjoyed that so much , that the next day I sought out another meeting to build on the experience.

I have just had the first sober weekend in god knows how long, it feels wonderful to feel wonderful on a Monday morning

Anyone who offers me a drink will get a polite no from no, if they dont take the polite no, they will get, I cant , I am AA.

Still your 162 days are wonderful, that is nearly 6 months. Keep it up, I know I will hit a buffer like that at some point, and need to find the tools to help me get over the craving at that point

lbern

I feel exactly the same way.

-L

Sapling

Hey Jason....Welcome. I'm not sure there is a perfect plan to stop drinking. Maybe what you are looking for is a plan that this is made to do it just the way you want it to be....Effortlessly and easy. It doesn't work like that. When this stuff grabs ahold of you...It's not like cutting down on how much ice cream you eat a week. Probably one of the hardest things I've ever done. I had been drinking as long as you have been alive.
I too hated the idea of AA....Didn't even like the name of it. But I was blessed with the gift of desperation. My wife threatened to leave me too....It was her or drinking. I kept drinking and she left...I lost yet another job...Friends...Belongings...All I lived for was to drink....Alone...And it was going to cost me life.
I guess for me the perfect plan was doing things I didn't want to do....Number one being....I had to get honest with myself. Think about that. It's not as easy as it sounds, and it is downright painful. But I did what I had to do to continue staying alive. I had to get off my high horse and get on my knees and ask for help. I had to take advice from strangers I didn't like. Why didn't I like them?....Because they were exactly like me and they were beating this thing...And I couldn't.
I threw myself into it...Whether I liked it or not and haven't had a drink or drug (I loved smoking pot too.) since. It's only seven months for me but for the first time in my life I see what I was missing out on...Living.
I'm not saying AA is the only way to do it...I'm just saying it worked for this hopeless alcoholic. When you find a way that works for you...I beg of you to get on here and share it with these people that show up here everyday with the same problem we share. I really like to see people beat this thing...However they do it. Best of luck to you.

Jason1

Thank you for the feed back.....what is cbt?

Jason1

I haven't made any other changes since I stopped drinking. I definitely am not happy by just being sober. I don't know where to start. Deep down, I don't believe in myself enough to think I can change. I don't believe I will stay sober. I am just sober now because I think I have to be.
Thanks to all for the valuable feedback, I am really touched at how you all have taken the time to write and share your advice and experiences.

Elisabeth888

Hey Jason,

Social drinking never did it for me either. I always wanted more, more, more until I was drunk, drunk, drunk.

There are many roads to recovery besides AA. I can't imagine white knuckling it and I commend you for your sobriety.