liftandrun

I started lurking in this forum earlier last week when not drinking during the week was a lot harder then I expected. It is/ was normal for me to drink at least a bottle of wine at home most nights of the week. As my user name indicates, I'm pretty athletic, and have been stalling in those efforts lately. I did some research and found out that when my body is dealing with the effects of alcohol it can't also build muscle and do good central nervous system stuff. Go figure.

So I though, no big deal I just won't drink during the week. Well I was crawling up the walls with boredom and couldn't wait for the weekend to get here so i could drink. Actually, I did cheat on that plan and had a bottle of wine Thursday night but told myself it hardly counted.

Yesterday I bought two big bottle of wine and had a couple of glasses before going to a party with all of my boyfriend's friends, and took a bottle. I drank the whole bottle there, acted like an idiot, said every random, stupid thing that popped into my head. That's just the part I remember.

This morning my boyfriend refuses to speak to me, I had dirt under my fingernails and something in my hair- indicating that I fell down, and feel like a shaky, crying mess. Clearly, i have a problem.

Now, I've embarrassed him, made an ass of myself and still have most of a bottle of my favorite wine in the fridge. I've had a shower and a protein shake and don't know what to do now.

sissy07

Liftandrun,

Welcome to SR! Keep reading and posting - you will learn things that will help you set up a plan for yourself...there are many approaches. Good luck to you.
P.S. - I think I know how you feel right now. I hated those mornings.

liftandrun

Thank-you, and yes it really sucks. The cat has planted himself on my lap all morning, I think he is concerned.

scrambled2012

I know the feeling....
Stick around!

jbasicpa

Yeah, I'm familiar with that feeling myself. If I get a kiss from the wife in the morning, I didn't do anything stupid. If I don't...I'm left to guess what happened. Wish I could give you some words of encouragement but my sober date is tomorrow. Hopefully we'll both come out of this fog. Good luck!

sissy07

Yep, I have four cats and two dogs (I like animals more than most people.) When I got sober last summer it was more for my animals than me - I had absolutely no respect left for myself, but man, do I love those animals. I guess whatever works.

My dogs and cats are a lot happier since I have been sober. They can sense when things aren't right.

Remember how you feel right now next time you want to drink. I am sorry.

nonblondechef

Happy Sunday liftandrun and jbasicpa - great to have you both here!

The best part of sobriety for me is that I am no longer an active participant in the talk/walk of shame games, for which I earned several medals - including a lovely broken ankle in September.

This is an amazing place full of wisdom and support. Please keep posting and welcome!

jocata

Hang in there liftandrun. You can do this.

At first I thought you name meant you have a stealing problem, lol. My mind is still warped.

God bless.

liftandrun

LOL Thank-you for making me laugh.

Marius76

liftandrun you've found the right place, I'm on day 28 of quitting and never expected to get so far, but the support you get from the people here is amazing. Take one day at a time, post your feelings and concerns and it will work for you. Best of luck, a sober life is far far better believe me.

buster123

hello liftandrun... I did some insanely stupid things last night. I joined this morning out of desperation. We are in the same boat, along with many others. I sincerely believe I could fix my problems with the support system they have in place here. Lets do it.

You are spot on about alcohol and workouts. I workout a lot hoping to return to my college shape. It never happened. I guess body process alcohol calories first before getting to fat reserves. With the amount I drink, I never had a chance. I resolve to quit drinking from tonight. During evenings I plan to work out till I drop, reward me with chocolate milk for recovery and prepare healthy meals for the next day.. I hope this will get me out of rut.

liftandrun

Thank-you and everyone for posting! It helps to see that there is hope. I feel a little less like poo now. Not drinking at all for ever is so huge I can't get my mind around it, yet not having this morning of shame feeling would be great too. So many of the posts seem like they could have been written by me, its amazing. I really appreciate the support.

Taws

Welcome to SR, liftandrun! I'm still new to sobriety, but SR has helped me immensely so far. Post often and learn from others -- this is an awesome place for support!

sissy07

Liftandrun,

If you keep active in this forum you are going to realize you are far from alone. I love this place.

BillyPilgrim

Hi liftand run and welcome. i am too a newbie drink did not make me do sensible things either!!

artsoul

Welcome liftandrun!

I was pretty attached to my wine, too, but it started getting harder to ignore the hangovers, anxiety, and loss of interest in normal activities. I kept promising myself I'd try harder to control it - just drink normally..... but it just never worked for me.

I'm glad you're here and you should feel proud that you're taking a look at your drinking - it's not an easy thing for most of us to do!

Dee74

welcome liftandrun

D

Bizooky

I couldn't imagine not drinking at all forever either. I just make the decision not to drink today and it makes things a lot more manageable for me. This site has helped me tremendously. 30 days tomorrow, I still can't believe it.
Best wishes.

liftandrun

Thank-you. I am not going to drink today. I am going to have breakfast, bacon and eggs and spinach and cheese, work, train (weights day) and tidy up the house.

One thing, out of toilet paper and I'm not looking forward to going to the store. I have baby wipes (is this TMI?) so will see if those will do without making me crazy. I can go to the store after lifting, run in, grab it and leave. That's the plan.

samwitch

Hi liftandrun;
You sound very much like I was-I was very into running: did a bunch of marathons a few years ago, and was really into staying in good shape.

Somehow, I found alcohol taking over more and more of my life till it became so much more important than running. I basically stopped running, and started drinking more and more and ended up doing things I was so horribly ashamed of the next day. I never drank all day but at the end I was drinking a half to a bottle of wine just about every night. Not conducive to running at peak levels. I'm still new at the whole sobriety thing, but I'm running again. And eating well. And no longer waking up ashamed of what I did or might have done the night before.

All this to say, stick with it, you will love it and this site ROCKS!