Am I lying to myself? Or I am just too hard on myself?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 191
Joining lots of you in the highly educated crowd (multiple graduate degrees) as an alcoholic. We come in all stripes and all the other good stuff (kids, jobs, whatever) doesn't stop you from having this disease. This could take all that other good stuff away from you, though.
As for drinking, where are you going to go? You said you have trouble stopping once you start, black out, do embarrassing stuff and so on. If that's the problem, how can you have any enjoyment from drinking without going down this bad road. If you can't have one or two drinks and just be totally done without any major struggle, you probably shouldn't drink.
As for drinking, where are you going to go? You said you have trouble stopping once you start, black out, do embarrassing stuff and so on. If that's the problem, how can you have any enjoyment from drinking without going down this bad road. If you can't have one or two drinks and just be totally done without any major struggle, you probably shouldn't drink.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,146
Scarlet, I'm more serious than you can now imagine because the matter is serious...try to do the 3 months and see how it goes for you. It's worth the effort to find out where you stand. Unless you don't think your drinking problem is serious.
Picking a fight in order to deflect the responsibility for remaining sick to others is very common, and doing so would be an error on your part. I hope you choose better for yourself, as I know how the point that you're at feels.
As far as supplying needed background to determine a drinking problem, have you ever used a Slinky? The percentage of Slinky users who become alcoholics is amazingly exactly the same as those among the number of those who obtain a masters. It's the same too with the groups of people who are all right handed or all left handed.
Wish you well, hope it all turns out fine.
Picking a fight in order to deflect the responsibility for remaining sick to others is very common, and doing so would be an error on your part. I hope you choose better for yourself, as I know how the point that you're at feels.
As far as supplying needed background to determine a drinking problem, have you ever used a Slinky? The percentage of Slinky users who become alcoholics is amazingly exactly the same as those among the number of those who obtain a masters. It's the same too with the groups of people who are all right handed or all left handed.
Wish you well, hope it all turns out fine.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Queens, NY
Posts: 267
You Needn't Be Concerned....
Originally Posted by langkah 
You needn't be concerned that anyone would look down on you for only having a masters. We really don't care about that.
For the record, I was going to post my credentials immediately and then point out how i was an alcoholic. Reading your last line Langkah, it is clear to me now that my credentials don't matter, I'm still an alcoholic. I will say this: never had a drink before noon, never got obnoxious in public, never fell over drunk, still an alcoholic.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,247
Scarletrose....Thanks for your post. I understand what you are going through. I have the same issue. I am on an anti-depressant as well. It definately increases the issue of blackouts. I know that as I am on medication it is another reasaon no to drink alcohol.
I know that medication advise is not to be given in the forum. Having said that, have you thought about eliminating alcohol while taking medication? Perhaps review with your doctor. For me alcohol makes my underlying situation worse.
Just my thoughts. I wish you the best.
I know that medication advise is not to be given in the forum. Having said that, have you thought about eliminating alcohol while taking medication? Perhaps review with your doctor. For me alcohol makes my underlying situation worse.
Just my thoughts. I wish you the best.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,146
'Reading your last line Langkah, it is clear to me now that my credentials don't matter, I'm still an alcoholic. I will say this: never had a drink before noon, never got obnoxious in public, never fell over drunk, still an alcoholic.'
For some years during the '40s my grandsponsor had the most successful Psychiatric practice in Chicago, specializing in the treatment of alcoholics. One might have called him very high-functioning community mover and shaker, a top-shelf kind of guy.
In a few years he was pitying the guys who were standing in the doorway of a fleabag hotel in skidrow to catch the bit of warmth coming out, feeling superior that unlike the alcoholics he had the 65cents for a single dorm bed. He was still a cut above, a guy who had things together.
In his mind he wasn't really an alcoholic in either circumstance, high or low. The reality of course, was in both economic extremes his alcoholic condition was identical, and it could have killed him uptown or downtown. Instead, it killed his partner and he went back to AA and never drank again.
My solidly logical reasons for not being alcoholic were that I was very young and very smart, and had all my teeth and had made serious money by my mid-20's and was just as special an individual as you could ever hope to meet. It was ridiculous for people to assume as they often did that I had a problem with alcohol and to send me to AA, as they often did when I was clearly a victim of some random and meaningless circumstance which could never occur more than once, until it did again.
Forcing me to attend AA was much like sending a fox to mix in with the chickens in the hopes he'd start laying eggs. It still amazes me I finally reached the point where I could begin to see the reality of what had been going on in front of my nose for many years. The meanings of thousands of experiences I'd kept myself completely blind to.
Cluck-cluck.
For some years during the '40s my grandsponsor had the most successful Psychiatric practice in Chicago, specializing in the treatment of alcoholics. One might have called him very high-functioning community mover and shaker, a top-shelf kind of guy.
In a few years he was pitying the guys who were standing in the doorway of a fleabag hotel in skidrow to catch the bit of warmth coming out, feeling superior that unlike the alcoholics he had the 65cents for a single dorm bed. He was still a cut above, a guy who had things together.
In his mind he wasn't really an alcoholic in either circumstance, high or low. The reality of course, was in both economic extremes his alcoholic condition was identical, and it could have killed him uptown or downtown. Instead, it killed his partner and he went back to AA and never drank again.
My solidly logical reasons for not being alcoholic were that I was very young and very smart, and had all my teeth and had made serious money by my mid-20's and was just as special an individual as you could ever hope to meet. It was ridiculous for people to assume as they often did that I had a problem with alcohol and to send me to AA, as they often did when I was clearly a victim of some random and meaningless circumstance which could never occur more than once, until it did again.
Forcing me to attend AA was much like sending a fox to mix in with the chickens in the hopes he'd start laying eggs. It still amazes me I finally reached the point where I could begin to see the reality of what had been going on in front of my nose for many years. The meanings of thousands of experiences I'd kept myself completely blind to.
Cluck-cluck.
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,916
Scarletrose, I wasn't making fun of you, that's not why I post on this site.
What I try to do is share my experience, strength, and hope with others in the hope that something I post might help someone, sometime. In your original post, your statement about your Masters sounded like you thought you couldn't be an alcoholic because you were successful in some aspects of your life.
I know that kind of thinking is dangerous, it caused me to drink for a couple of extra decades after I first became aware that I didn't drink like other people. I didn't think I was an alcoholic because I was successful on many of life's benchmarks. I guess I thought that alcoholics were not very successful since they drank out of brown paper sacks and lived under a highway overpass. Since that's not me, then I must be ok.
The reality is that I am an alcoholic, plain and simple. I may have achieved and acquired a few more things than others, but that just means that I have more to lose, and farther to fall. Now I keep sober, one day at a time, and I am thankful for each sober day.
What I try to do is share my experience, strength, and hope with others in the hope that something I post might help someone, sometime. In your original post, your statement about your Masters sounded like you thought you couldn't be an alcoholic because you were successful in some aspects of your life.
I know that kind of thinking is dangerous, it caused me to drink for a couple of extra decades after I first became aware that I didn't drink like other people. I didn't think I was an alcoholic because I was successful on many of life's benchmarks. I guess I thought that alcoholics were not very successful since they drank out of brown paper sacks and lived under a highway overpass. Since that's not me, then I must be ok.
The reality is that I am an alcoholic, plain and simple. I may have achieved and acquired a few more things than others, but that just means that I have more to lose, and farther to fall. Now I keep sober, one day at a time, and I am thankful for each sober day.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Northern CA
Posts: 1,733
ScarletRose - It's clear to me that you feel patronized now. I remember getting similar replies to one of my posts questioning if I was an alcoholic that annoyed the hell out of me as well. I felt like people were forcing their issue on me. Not true but that was how I perceived the comments at the time.
This website will be here for you when you come back, which I hope you will because you are very clearly one of us.
This website will be here for you when you come back, which I hope you will because you are very clearly one of us.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,279
Hi Scarletrose,
It looks like you have removed your posts & deleted your account here. I am sorry that you didn't like some of the responses to your thread. Please know that these responses are coming from the heart from people with alcohol problems (aka alcoholics) that have struggled with this addiction, disease, challenge or {insert name here}.
We tend to get a little edgy when we hear of others with similar challenges with alcohol following a similar path (continuing to drink) when it has brought us so much pain & misery in the past. Our intentions are good as we dont want you to have to experience what a lot of us already have. There will always be a space here for you should you decide to come back.
I wish you the very best in your journey & for your future. I hope that you may one day decide to update us with your progress & tell us how well things are going for you.
Lastly, if you are struggling in any way please also know we are here to support you in your recovery as well. Even if we are a what some may consider overly passionate about our sobriety & the sobriety of others with alcohol problems at times ;-)
Take care ~ NB
It looks like you have removed your posts & deleted your account here. I am sorry that you didn't like some of the responses to your thread. Please know that these responses are coming from the heart from people with alcohol problems (aka alcoholics) that have struggled with this addiction, disease, challenge or {insert name here}.
We tend to get a little edgy when we hear of others with similar challenges with alcohol following a similar path (continuing to drink) when it has brought us so much pain & misery in the past. Our intentions are good as we dont want you to have to experience what a lot of us already have. There will always be a space here for you should you decide to come back.
I wish you the very best in your journey & for your future. I hope that you may one day decide to update us with your progress & tell us how well things are going for you.
Lastly, if you are struggling in any way please also know we are here to support you in your recovery as well. Even if we are a what some may consider overly passionate about our sobriety & the sobriety of others with alcohol problems at times ;-)
Take care ~ NB
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
As the OP has left, it's time to move on.
I hope she might find her way back here, but this thread is now closed.
I remember how I was when I first came here - I was beaten, trembling, ill, my head felt weird - I was genuinely wondering if I was going to die...
The love and understanding I received here was a revelation.
I finally had people who understood.
People who knew what it was like - people who cared about me and what I was doing - and people who cared enough to tell me when they felt I was going wrong or veering away... but who always did it with love, care - and always allowing me to keep my dignity.
I always felt I was being drawn inwards, never pushed away.
I dunno about anyone else but I'd like to think we still respond to newcomers that way as our default.
D
I hope she might find her way back here, but this thread is now closed.
I remember how I was when I first came here - I was beaten, trembling, ill, my head felt weird - I was genuinely wondering if I was going to die...
The love and understanding I received here was a revelation.
I finally had people who understood.
People who knew what it was like - people who cared about me and what I was doing - and people who cared enough to tell me when they felt I was going wrong or veering away... but who always did it with love, care - and always allowing me to keep my dignity.
I always felt I was being drawn inwards, never pushed away.
I dunno about anyone else but I'd like to think we still respond to newcomers that way as our default.
D
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