FlyerFan

Yes, and thank you. I did ask my friend but all he told me was call the women on my list. I think he is trying to avoid our friendship getting too deeply involved in AA. Like I will probably go to a meeting a week with him, because he offered to drive me, but other than that I think and he thinks it is a good idea to keep the friendship seperate form the recovery process.

I mean, I text him daily about how im doing, which he likes, but we try to avoid the really deep conversations because he knows that i would relate to a woman much better

Sapling

He may just feel this is your journey and you should experience it on your own...If he does..I think he's right.

Cob

I might be weighing in a little late here but I would try to remember the person that perhaps appealed to me the most and call them. That of course may not be possible if the list was passed around without you realizing that they were going to give it to you or if you weren't able to see the face with the number. However, on the other hand maybe just try to call one number and think of it as if you're making a professional call. Sorta like you're calling about your electric bill or your calling to find out where that item is you bought on line but it has yet to reach your house. Those may not be good examples but what I'm trying to say is just think of it as you would with any other stranger that you call and need to do business with. At first it will seem a little awkward but I would bet that the person you reach on the other end is going to be very warm and receptive. They will probably go out of their way to make you feel comfortable. They wouldn't put their phone numbers out there if they didn't expect someone to call them from time to time. Plus...remember this, you never know what You may be doing for them. Sponsors, or those that offer their phone numbers really do get a lot out of the other person calling them. More often then not they are getting more from the call then what You ware going to get out of it to begin with. Also, just think of it as the first day in class and you're getting to meet all the others who are new too...not quite the same but similar...these ladies really do believe that your calling them is extremely important. Another thing is that you never know but it could turn out to be one of your new best friends in the whole wide world. You will find on the end of the other line someone that knows exactly how you feel, even if all your current family or friends don't know how you feel; these ladies are going to know for sure. Those first words of, "Hello, this is "your name", I was just calling to find out more about the program"...etc....from there the conversation is going to flourish. It will feel awkward for only a moment...and after a couple of sentences those awkward feelings are going to subside. It does sound strange to some degree but it really isn't at all. If you were in need of some type of help say for your computer and you could call to get it fixed, it wouldn't be anything to call them and say hey, this program isn't working right or what am I doing wrong to make this thing not work correctly. That stranger on the other end of the line wouldn't think anything other than you were in need of their help. Same thing here, you may be in need of their help and understanding...and they will know exactly what to tell you...well, most of the time....sometimes we as people simply don't know and then all we can say is, "I don't know but we can sure find it out together."...anyways, give it a try, the worse thing that can happen is you call and feel a little awkward for a few seconds.

Cob

FlyerFan

Thanks everyone, I think I'm gonna take my first approach and just keep going to the same meetings each week and talk to the same women and then I know I will be alright with calling them up because we'll become friends.

mamasage

FF, I'm glad you posted this because I'm in the same boat & it's great to read both your shares and others' responses. I'm not much of a phone person at all, even with family & old friends, much less people I barely know. I have a heap of numbers but have yet to really use them. The women's meeting tip is a good one - I have 3 a week that I attend and it's a different dynamic than the mixed ones. I've started slow with two women I text with often & do things with, and am finally pinpointing another to ask to sponsor me. I think it just takes some of us longer than others. One of the friends I mentioned says "calling is for the big girls, you'll get there." I think you have great ideas for approaching them, and wish you luck. And thank you..this is helping me get more motivation/courage to get on the horn too.

FlyerFan

Thank you. For me it is a small step at a time process. I know I'm helping myself both in recovery and socially. I want sober friends to hang out with.