Surrender
 

I might have a slight taste of it. Tired of fighting my giant ego that led me nowhere good. I think in sobroety I can't close myself to anything.

The essential surrender happens within you, it has nothing to do with anybody outside you. The basic surrender is a relaxation, a trust — so don’t be misguided by the word. Linguistically, surrender means to surrender to somebody, but religiously, surrender simply means trust, relaxing. It is an attitude rather than an act: you live through trust. - Osho

Took me years to surrender. In all honestly I found it the hardest part of recovery.

Look at it this way. You V Alcohol...You lost now lets move on and start recovery.