I want my LIFE again!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: New England
Posts: 7
I want my LIFE again!
I am going to do what it takes to get better from this addiction. First a bit about me and my addiction. I am a 36 and a father of the most beautiful 4 yo boy in the world and missing so much with this nasty addiction.... alcohol! It has ruined my life in every aspect of the word. I have been drinking for roughly 9 yrs. I quit before on my own for a month and half and was on top of the world but poor excuses went back to it thinking I could have one which led to two and so on..... again! I want to see the light again and most of all be me again. I am really going to try my hardest this time to first be healthy, happy, focus and be a father. I have ruined relationships with family, friends. I was here before when I was sober for a month and half and all the support was amazing and it helped and I stopped coming here and it was the worse mistake ever and I am sorry. I was here everyday at 5pm because that's when I feel the urge to drink and talking to many in chat made so much easier till I was just here letting everyone know how great I was feeling. Stupid me! NO MORE EXCUSES! I honestly can say I don't need meetings all I need is this sight and all of you and make sure I stay and come on a daily basis and you all are my stone. Believe me you all were for 45 days and stupid me.... little by little stopped coming here because I "thought" I was fine and I am sorry to all of you. I am back and I will be here not for 45 days and think I am fine but here for good. You all made me see light and all I did is went back in the dark literally. I will be in chat, I will be reading post because all this is what helped me and boy do I want those days back. I was a whole different person. I enjoyed the light, smiling, talking to people, happy and so focused and not in cloud nine every day and I will have it back. Thank you for reading. And my promise is not for 45 days it is for one day at a time and see the person I am without the drinking. And boy what a different person I am.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Austin, Texas
Posts: 1,387
Hope112,
Welcome back! Most of us have been where you are....isn't it crazy how sobriety is so great, then we return to drinking? Sobriety is good, but it isn't easy to maintain, at least for awhile. The longer you stay away from drink the cravings decrease. Best of luck to you.
Welcome back! Most of us have been where you are....isn't it crazy how sobriety is so great, then we return to drinking? Sobriety is good, but it isn't easy to maintain, at least for awhile. The longer you stay away from drink the cravings decrease. Best of luck to you.
Resident
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Toronto, Ontario
Posts: 4,150
W@elcome back Hope.
The time I robbed from my children by drinking and being hungover is the biggest regret that I have in my whole life.
My kids are all grown now and turned out fine but I still regret it.
Your son is young so do it for him so you don't have the same regrets as I do 20 years from now.
Good luck. You know you can do the right thing.
The time I robbed from my children by drinking and being hungover is the biggest regret that I have in my whole life.
My kids are all grown now and turned out fine but I still regret it.
Your son is young so do it for him so you don't have the same regrets as I do 20 years from now.
Good luck. You know you can do the right thing.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,563
Great attitude, Hope. It's wonderful your little boy will only know his sober dad. Like Fubar, I have many regrets about my foggy, fuzzy years. This won't be you, Hope - you're getting it right, in the nick of time. 
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Vashon WA
Posts: 1,035
Hang in there Hope. I have a 7 year old son and a 5 year old daughter so I know what you're talking about. I've just made it to the 90 day mark. I think the first 45 were the hardest. You'll do it again!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: New England
Posts: 7
I would like to thank all of you for taking the time to read and showing me how strangers sometimes are the people who care. Most of all it makes me feel stronger reading these comments from all of you who understand because you were there. Well, of course you all know I feel jittery but it comes with the territory and it only gets better as I know and you all know. Thanks again! 
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