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Old 01-26-2012, 06:37 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Taking Ownership

I posted yesterday about how hard making amends was but it came to my mind it was less about forgiveness than accepting responsibility for certain actions, something as an alcoholic I haven't been so great at. Maybe the key is not forgiveness but moving forward, not perpetuating, repeating, replaying. I don't know.
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Old 01-26-2012, 07:11 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Any relationship (romantic or otherwise) is like a team. If you're passed out drunk all the time, it's hard to be a part of that team.
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Old 01-26-2012, 08:48 AM   #3 (permalink)
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My view on amendments is that they are a method of permanently and intimatly changing the behaviors that led you to harm others. My biggest amendments are to my ex and my daughter. My kid's one I haven't made it formal yet, I am just trying to foster a relationship that was abandoned for fifteen years. My ex, I was up front with, and brutally honest. She has always been supportive, wanting only for a relationship between my kid and I to foster itself. There was no specific apology or act that I could do. We talk, a lot, about my life, and how it led me to the point I was at, and how those mechanisms led me to do the things I did. It is healing both of us. I have made most of my amendments this way, committing to my new lifestyle and being present for others, instead of being selfish and hiding, ignoring those who love me.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann, Desiderata
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