Going to a show for first time sober...
 

Hi everyone,
My friend invited me to go see her friend's band play tomorrow night. I know that there will be drinking there but I am confident that I won't drink. Besides,I'm driving separately and I'm only going for a few hours and I have work the next day.

My question is, what are good ways to not feel or appear awkward in a situation like this without drinking? I've relied on drinking in social situations (especially shows and bars) for so long, I'm a little rusty at sober fun!

I plan to order a sparkling water with lime. Do you guys have any other suggestions on how to make the night run smoothly?

Thanks!

I think it never hurts to think about some of the things that might happen and make a plan for that - if you're offered a drink, if there's peer pressure etc.

It's often a good idea as much as possible to have a full glass.
I think it's also good to have an escape plan, so going in your own car and for a limited time is good.

and don't be afraid to put off your re-entry into society if you don't feel entirely sure you're ready.

D

Tewll yourself NO every time you get the urge, focus on the music, and if it gets to tuff, leave.

Hey

I had similiar problem last friday - it was my first time in a social situation where alcohol was being served and I was fearful that Id just want to get drunk .. but its amazing how empowered I felt not doing that and sticking to my guns ... yes the temptation was there but take strength in saying "NO" it felt good ... x

Good idea to do the driving. It is a lot easier if everyone knows you have to drive since nobody should drink and drive anyways. It is a good excuse.

When I did this, I found out I was happiest when I made it to my car and realized I did not have to worry about driving. That was worth it!

My sister has social anxiety and I'm afraid nothing I've said seems to make it easier for her. Her worry is that people are looking at her and judging her. I tell her people are too self centered to be worried about you. They are all worried if people are looking at them.

The anxiety is yours, its real, but its groundless. Go out and enjoy the music. If the band is playing there isn't going to be a lot of interaction.

If you have any doubt that you will make it without drinking....DON'T GO. It's just some friend of a friend deal. Don't risk your recovery for something so minor on the scale of social intercourse.

Thank you so much for the replies. I plan to drive separately, order sparkling water and lemon or lime, and try to have as much fun as possible.

I hope that tonight will be a milestone for me and every time I go out sober it'll get a little easier.

Wish me luck! (to have fun that is, I know that I won't drink :09:)

Have a great evening!

Not sure how long you have been sober, but my best plan for staying sober in these situations was to not go.

I just posted a thread in the alcoholism forum about how I just went out to a bar for the first time in 10 months and the steps I took ahead of time, check it out if you're interested.

So my friend canceled on me at the last minute as I was getting ready because her and her co-workers wanted to go to a bar instead of the show. Of course she invited me but there is no way I'm going to a bar right now.

ugh. I have no social life now that I'm not drinking and I'm only 25. I used to be such a social person.:cries3:

I went to see a show by myself on Tuesday. It was fantastic. I've been to several over the past year. You'll be amazed how much more you enjoy the music when you're not focused on getting and maintaining a buzz.

Choosing a bar over a show? You don't need alcohol; you just need cooler friends. ;)

Awwww gutted for you :( In same situation as you where all my mates seem to wanna go out to the pub and it sucks :( Id think of myself as sociable and im 31 ... I just dunno why now I dont drink it seems all the fun is at the pub

I have found volunteering a great way to meet new folks and give of myself, which has strengthened my recovery.

Sorry about the cancellation.

Volunteering was good for me too in the connecting with people thing - so was meeting friends at coffee places, and going to movies, plays, exhibitions etc.

Sport might be good too for connecting with people, I hear lol :)

There's a lot of things you can do that needn't involve alcohol at all. No need to be a hermit - sometimes you have to meet some new peeps tho :)

D

Yeah, you might have to change up your friends & find some new things to do. I have & life is so much better in every way. I used to be a hungover mess on Saturday & Sunday mornings now I climb mountains, play tennis & tons of other activities over the weekends.

What kinds of interests/hobbies/sports do you have/play?

Take care ~ NB

Newbeginning, Thanks for the reply. I am right there with you with being able to finally function and do healthy things on the weekends because I'm no longer nursing a hangover all day! It's great.

My interests and hobbies are: music (listening to it I don't play anything,) art (I draw and paint), yoga, and I love hiking but haven't had a chance to do it much lately. I was actually thinking of trying to get a meetup group together online to go hiking up in the hills near me.

We have a lot of the same interests & going to my first show sober was scary (I'm a big live music fan too), but I went with a friend who is very supportive, drank seltzer with cran & lime like it was going out of style, and ended up having a blast. It was my 10th Ani DiFranco show and for the VERY first time I could remember everything about it afterward! :) Having to drive is always a HUGE motivator too. I'm FAR from being able to hang with friends at a pub but at shows, I find I can just enjoy the music and friends and have found that no one's even noticing what I am or am not drinking anyway..they're probably focusing much more on their glass than yours like people say. And how great is it to not wake up hung over the next morning?