9 Months sober, and the question from my earlier post
9 Months sober, and the question from my earlier post
I figured I would start a new thread instead of posting under my first post about my 9 months of sobriety today. In hopes it might be recognized by more people whom actually could use my experience. So here it is
I was asked in my other post
I so wish I could! I could sit here for hours and hours writing about my 9 month journey thus far. I think your best bet would to look over my personal journal of posts I started on these forums. It would give you some incite of what I have dealt with. But for some key tips here ya go:
Things that have kept me sober:
1. I really wanted it. (Don't take this lightly). I mean I really really REALLY wanted to live life in an environment that was not based upon alcohol. Some people say they want to get sober, and I believe they really mean it, but when I hear they relapsed they must not have WANTED it bad enough. Just my 2 cents anyways.
2. I became true to myself. I stopped lieing flat out. Not even little white lies. I lived in a fantasy that I conjured up in my own mind which I took for as a reality. I was lying to myself all the time, and knew it, but masked the lies with alcohol, so they would seem real. I threw that right out the door, and started to be honest with everything I did in my life. Even if the truth hurt.
3. Stayed away from all things alcohol for the first few months. I kept away from things that reminded me of alcohol when I could. I recognized my limits, and never pushed them. Pushing them is dangerous as hell. Over time, my limits grew, and I am now ok to be around alcohol without it tempting me. But that was something I worked up too, and by no means would I ever recommend being around alcohol in early recovery. Still till this day I have limits though. I know what they are, acknowledge them, and never pass those boundaries. THIS IS KEY
4. Talk to people! Let people know you are getting sober. Don't be afraid of what they will think. Nine times out of ten people will be extremely happy for you. This also helps you in a sense because you are validating to others you are sober. Someone who gets sober, and fails to tell anyone has room to relapse with no emotional consequences from others. They didn't know you were getting sober in the first place, so who cares if you screw up and drink right? Sometimes other peoples eyes on you can really help. It keeps you grounded.
5. Focus on the future. Realize life is much better sober. Sometimes a newly sober person can't grasp that idea because all they ever knew was alcohol. That being sober is dull and boring. Well I was one of those people, and I'm not going to lie here, it was dull and boring at first. But it wasnt dull and boring because I stopped drinking. It was dull and boring because I had no clue how to tackle life without drinking. Everything changed. I was so used to drinking, and thats all I ever knew. I was brainwashed in a sense. Over time, I have become that fun outgoing person again, and without the aid of alcohol. More importantly, people actually ENJOY being around me more now then they did when ever I was drunk. Even the people I drank with in the past say this. "Ryan, I actually enjoy your company more sober." <-- Ive been told this a few times now.
Thats about it really. Those are the key things that stand out to me more than anything else. Of course, there is other things that helped me stay sober, but I believe I covered the most important ones. Coming to this forum has also helped a great deal. Being able to relate with others I believe is also key. Thank you soberrecovery.com for allowing me to be apart of this wonderful community that has served as such a great tool in my personal journey into recovery!
Stay strong people!!!!!
-Ryan
I was asked in my other post
I so wish I could! I could sit here for hours and hours writing about my 9 month journey thus far. I think your best bet would to look over my personal journal of posts I started on these forums. It would give you some incite of what I have dealt with. But for some key tips here ya go:
Things that have kept me sober:
1. I really wanted it. (Don't take this lightly). I mean I really really REALLY wanted to live life in an environment that was not based upon alcohol. Some people say they want to get sober, and I believe they really mean it, but when I hear they relapsed they must not have WANTED it bad enough. Just my 2 cents anyways.
2. I became true to myself. I stopped lieing flat out. Not even little white lies. I lived in a fantasy that I conjured up in my own mind which I took for as a reality. I was lying to myself all the time, and knew it, but masked the lies with alcohol, so they would seem real. I threw that right out the door, and started to be honest with everything I did in my life. Even if the truth hurt.
3. Stayed away from all things alcohol for the first few months. I kept away from things that reminded me of alcohol when I could. I recognized my limits, and never pushed them. Pushing them is dangerous as hell. Over time, my limits grew, and I am now ok to be around alcohol without it tempting me. But that was something I worked up too, and by no means would I ever recommend being around alcohol in early recovery. Still till this day I have limits though. I know what they are, acknowledge them, and never pass those boundaries. THIS IS KEY
4. Talk to people! Let people know you are getting sober. Don't be afraid of what they will think. Nine times out of ten people will be extremely happy for you. This also helps you in a sense because you are validating to others you are sober. Someone who gets sober, and fails to tell anyone has room to relapse with no emotional consequences from others. They didn't know you were getting sober in the first place, so who cares if you screw up and drink right? Sometimes other peoples eyes on you can really help. It keeps you grounded.
5. Focus on the future. Realize life is much better sober. Sometimes a newly sober person can't grasp that idea because all they ever knew was alcohol. That being sober is dull and boring. Well I was one of those people, and I'm not going to lie here, it was dull and boring at first. But it wasnt dull and boring because I stopped drinking. It was dull and boring because I had no clue how to tackle life without drinking. Everything changed. I was so used to drinking, and thats all I ever knew. I was brainwashed in a sense. Over time, I have become that fun outgoing person again, and without the aid of alcohol. More importantly, people actually ENJOY being around me more now then they did when ever I was drunk. Even the people I drank with in the past say this. "Ryan, I actually enjoy your company more sober." <-- Ive been told this a few times now.
Thats about it really. Those are the key things that stand out to me more than anything else. Of course, there is other things that helped me stay sober, but I believe I covered the most important ones. Coming to this forum has also helped a great deal. Being able to relate with others I believe is also key. Thank you soberrecovery.com for allowing me to be apart of this wonderful community that has served as such a great tool in my personal journey into recovery!
Stay strong people!!!!!
-Ryan
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 609
Originally Posted by RyanRed
5. Focus on the future. Realize life is much better sober. Sometimes a newly sober person can't grasp that idea because all they ever knew was alcohol. That being sober is dull and boring. Well I was one of those people, and I'm not going to lie here, it was dull and boring at first. But it wasnt dull and boring because I stopped drinking. It was dull and boring because I had no clue how to tackle life without drinking. Everything changed. I was so used to drinking, and thats all I ever knew. I was brainwashed in a sense. Over time, I have become that fun outgoing person again, and without the aid of alcohol. More importantly, people actually ENJOY being around me more now then they did when ever I was drunk. Even the people I drank with in the past say this. "Ryan, I actually enjoy your company more sober." <-- Ive been told this a few times now.
You have to work at it, stick with it, be true to yourself as you say. I know I had to stop with the seeking big extremes, easy highs and escapes mentality, expecting everything to be 'perfect' etc. But something you've had to work for is infinitely more meaningful and rewarding. Everything I thought alcohol gave me turned out to be ultimately an illusion, I paid for the highs with terrible crashes. In time, the highs themselves were harder to come by, but I had a habit, which demanded to be constantly fed.
Well done on 9 months, that is truly a milestone. And I sort of felt like I'd turned a corner at that stage. 9 to 12 months wasn't that difficult for me.
Nice work.....keep it going.
I too mirror your numbers 1 thru 5. I think we both feel the same way almost to a T. My difference was adding face to face one on one counselling. That opened up a new area of recovery for me, it made the difference in the beginning. I also have to put on the list getting enough sober time (9 months plus) under your belt. So many people make it a week and give up and drink. You NEED to get your brain chemistry back on track, and in my opinion that takes a very long time.
I too mirror your numbers 1 thru 5. I think we both feel the same way almost to a T. My difference was adding face to face one on one counselling. That opened up a new area of recovery for me, it made the difference in the beginning. I also have to put on the list getting enough sober time (9 months plus) under your belt. So many people make it a week and give up and drink. You NEED to get your brain chemistry back on track, and in my opinion that takes a very long time.
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