Eliasson

You all are probably very tired of hearing me whine about how hard this sobriety thing is for me. I'm tired of hearing me whine about it. When will I be confident and comfortable in my sobriety? I'm approaching the 6 month mark and this is usually about as far as I make it before I give in and go back to trying to control my drinking again. Which never works. Ever. I just wish it would. Because I feel so boring without alcohol. I still haven't learned how to have fun without drinking, I haven't learned how to go out to dinner without drinking, haven't learned how to hold a meaningful conversation without alcohol, and as I mentioned in a previous post, I haven't learned how to be intimate without drinking. So I feel frozen and un interesting and like a non-person. If that makes any sense. I can't imagine living the rest of my life this way. I seriously need advice and help because this is the same conclusion I always come to and then make the decision to go back to drinking. I do go to meetings. And I know I have so many obstacles in my life to overcome, but for now the biggest obstacle is me. Help me learn to live and enjoy life please?

Anna

Hi Eliasson,

Recovery is hard, but you can do it. I know that it takes a lot of changes to recover and I hope you're willing to do whatever it takes to get through this.

You can go out for dinner and have a good conversation with someone. Give it a try. And, there are so many simple things to do that are enjoyable. One of the things I did from the start, was to get back to reading, which I love.

I didn't feel uninteresting really, but I felt uncomfortable in a lot of social situations. That's not likely to change, and so I don't socialize as much as I used to, and I'm fine with that.

artsoul

I think it's good that you can identify some of the issues you're dealing with. Rather than believe that you "can't" do something, believe that you can but you just haven't found a way to do it yet. You know that alcohol isn't a solution, so cross that off your list and start looking for other possibilities. Maybe counseling would help, or reading things to boost your self esteem, starting a gratitude journal........ If you want to feel comfortable going out to dinner or having conversation, figure out the baby steps you can take in that direction.

Behind every emotion is a thought, so if we want to feel differently we have to change the way we think about things. I used to think I was a victim of my thinking, but I'm finding out that's wrong. I can choose whether or not to find the good or bad in any situation. I can choose to question my negative thoughts and open the way for new, more positive ones. It takes time and practice, but just the little bit of energy I've put into it has made a huge difference for me.

Just my 2 cents, of course......

Dee74

apparently SR ate my post lol

anyway the gist was pretty much what anna said - you can do all these things sober...you just have to put yourself out there and try it.

Like artsoul said baby steps are just fine

I know it's scary, but I don't know of any shortcuts eliasson

D