MagnifiedStar

Day one for me. I had two weeks just over a week ago, and blew those completely. I am not going to screw up this time. Feeling okay from a physical standpoint, but shockingly emotional. I keep going to the bathroom to cry at work and my nerves feel shot. It seems like I'll never get over this hump. I just keep reliving all my mistakes. My mom said the suffering now will make the recovery that much more amazing, so I am just trying to suck it up and get through the day. I have a lot of support, thank God - just don't want to let them, or myself, down again. This site seems like an incredible outlet and I'm looking forward to being an active participant.

Fubarcdn

The hardest part is getting started and then the first few weeks.
Don't give up and don't give in. You will be fine.

Ghostlight

Hello and welcome. I hope you feel you can post as often as you need to.

Many of us have had relapses while quiting. I can't even count all mine. I joined here over four years ago and I've been sober 25 months today. Tha's how long it took.

Please don't let this happen to you. Think that first drink through to the end and where it will lead. This works for me, and I hope it does for you.

Congratulations on your new start and it's great to have you here.

MagnifiedStar

Thank you Ghostlight! This site is really inspiring. I keep reading about failing only being when you don't try again - so I'm doing just that. I'm not going to beat myself up over slipping last week, when I know I have a sickness. I am just moving forward, telling everyone what to expect and being honest with them and myself for the first time ever. That relief is helping. It's awful living in a lie and trying to constantly play chess with yourself and the people that love you. Keeping my head up and staying motivated and strong.

desertsong

Welcome! Don't beat yourself up for the relapses; it happens sometimes. This is my third time getting sober in the past year, and I'm at 25 days today. The early days can be rough but you can and will get through them. What is your plan for staying sober this time?

You will find much support here. Glad you're here!

sugarbear1

Try journaling! Stay strong, stay stopped.

MagnifiedStar

Thanks again everyone! Here's what I have planned this time around - would love your thoughts:
- Going to meetings as often as I can. I am traveling for work today and I still found one out of town. I have a friend in AA who I plan on talking to, just need a little more time until I feel less vulnerable.
- Posting on here and keeping a record of how this process is going (thanks sugarbear!)
- I have already told the people closest to me that I have a drinking problem and need to get completely sober. This was a a tough nut to crack given the shame, guilt etc.
- Focusing on meaningful pursuits: reading, writing, museums, nature, volunteering, my dog etc.
- Church with my mom