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Old 01-23-2012, 09:29 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Back to square one.....


Hey everyone,

Long story short, i got drunk and took some pills Friday night, spent saturday feeling terrible and wondering why i did it. I thought i was doing good not wanting to drink, i had the pills down to every few days and lower doses and then in a moment of stupidity i decided to go backwards.

I am done beating myself up for it. I had 2 beers last night and took just one xanax before bed. Today is a new day, i can only hope to do better this time.

Hope everyone is doing okay
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Old 01-23-2012, 09:36 AM   #2 (permalink)
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((hugs)) Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and begin again friend. You did good to come here, admit it, and start over.
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Old 01-23-2012, 10:09 AM   #3 (permalink)
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You are right tgif... today is a new day.

You can do it! Keep posting and reading for support.
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Old 01-23-2012, 10:23 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tgif View Post
Hey everyone,

Long story short, i got drunk and took some pills Friday night, spent saturday feeling terrible and wondering why i did it. I thought i was doing good not wanting to drink, i had the pills down to every few days and lower doses and then in a moment of stupidity i decided to go backwards.

I am done beating myself up for it. I had 2 beers last night and took just one xanax before bed. Today is a new day, i can only hope to do better this time.

Hope everyone is doing okay
Just curious...Are you taking Xanax because that was prescribed by a doctor for you?...If so...Does he/she know your drinking history? I guess I ask is because it sounds like you are trying to quit drinking and hold on to the pills...That just seems like a really hard road to go for recovery. I hope you do better this time too. Find some kind of program that works for you.
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Old 01-23-2012, 10:53 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Never quit quitting. It is good that you are back here trying again.
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Old 01-23-2012, 11:12 AM   #6 (permalink)
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I thought i was doing good not wanting to drink, i had the pills down to every few days and lower doses and then in a moment of stupidity i decided to go backwards.
Consider that "not wanting to drink" has no relevance whatsoever, and that it is not an indicator of progress. Also, in case you didn't know, Xanax is cross tolerant with alcohol, and for many people, is the same as taking that proverbial first drink.
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Old 01-23-2012, 02:37 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Thanks everyone.

I am working on the Xanax issue. I am not prescribed it. I don't even go to the Doctor. I have a chip on my shoulder that i know i need to overcome where Doctors are concerned.

I just feel like it is so hard giving up all 3 things at once. I tried it, one of them always stays around or sneaks back and leads to all 3 again. I use more pills when i drink so i want to get that in order and i guess i am just hoping the rest will follow which is stupid thinking i know. Especially when Alcohol has been a life long problem.

I don't abuse them like i was. And i keep telling myself it's not so bad. I've said before, i have my rock bottom, 2005. I always compare where i ended up then to where i am now and i convince myself that i'm not doing bad.

But i know things are far from good too. I want to be free from this so badly but i keep stepping on my own toes and falling flat on my face. I have to change something in me and i just don't know what it is right now.

Thanks again everyone.
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Old 01-23-2012, 02:49 PM   #8 (permalink)
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I have to change something in me and i just don't know what it is right now.
You might want to start with that chip on your shoulder about doctors...
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Old 01-23-2012, 04:00 PM   #9 (permalink)
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I've never done benzoes but I've seen enough threads here to suggest anyone trying to come off benzoes - especially after years of use, really needs a Dr's input tgif.

I had three interconnecting addictions too - pot, alcohol and cigarettes - I had to target them all, and get help, in order to get better.

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Old 01-23-2012, 04:06 PM   #10 (permalink)
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tgif - Maybe you're really ready now. I had to fail a few times before it really sank in what needed to be done. Glad you came back and are starting again - you can do this.
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Old 01-23-2012, 04:26 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Everything that was said .

Keep coming back .

Good love, Inda
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Old 01-23-2012, 04:49 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Yes you can do better, and you will. Prayin for ya
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Old 01-23-2012, 05:07 PM   #13 (permalink)
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I'm happy you are moving forward. I used to beat myself up over slip ups, which just ended up with more slip ups.

Try to stay positive, as you said, today is a new day. Keep trying, you can do it!
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