CamilleBelle

And I've been doing so well without alcohol that I did not think I would have any issue not drinking there. Everything was great for the first hour or so and then dessert was served and it was little cheesecakes with blueberries on top! I love cheesecake so I grabbed one and as I was eating it some of the blueberry juice dripped on the carpet! I felt terrible and being new in town I found my husband to help me let the hosts know. Well, flash forward 10 min and I am now being accused of being a "drunk slob" Spilling stuff on the floor, ect ect... I know I have to earn trust back after years of drinking, But I had not had a sip!! Then I made a bad choice and since I was already being accused of drinking... guess what I did. Went and had a drink. then two. then three. Why not? It was not the right choice of course, and I regretted it almost instantly, but I figured wtf... If I'm going to get in trouble for something... I might as well actually do it! I am struggling with trying to be good and being blamed almost constantly that I'm not. I guess it just takes time. I'm learning.

Dee74

I did that lots of times - being accused of drinking then thought oh well why not.

I finally figured out why not - it's not a good or a positive or a responsible response for me, and because it put me back several steps in the trust process, not to mention right back in the cycle of addiction...

It's one of those lessons to learn for sure.
Hows your search for support going Camille?

D

Anna

Yeah, it happened to me, too. You really have to learn to be above it, to have strong faith in your path of recovery. It takes time to regain trust, sometimes a long time. And, in the meantime, you have to build yourself up, knowing that you're doing the right thing - whether or not others see it.

CamilleBelle

Thanks Anna and Dee! Always nice to have your help and advice. I know I'm strong enough to do this... but I am starting to worry that I may need more help in the initial stages than I thought. I have not found much support here in my new hometown yet... It is very small and I am worried about running into people I may later know. This actually happened at the house party last night...

My husband went to watch a football game a week ago with some friends so I went to a restaurant to order some takeout. while waiting, I sat at the bar. Dumb I know, and eventually ordered a shot. A guy nearby overheard and said he wanted one too and also paid for mine. I was flattered. Anyhow, last night I thought this guy at the party looked familiar... It was the guy from the bar! My husband prob couldnt care less about the flirting, but It made me VERY uncomfortable that he'd mention the drinking!! Kinda silly!

Dee, I looked up therapists here and will call tomorrow. I know my health is my # 1 priority, but my husband is in a career field where my problems could become his very quickly and thats the last thing I want!

Sparkydog

I was at a party a few months ago and managed to knock my soda off the kitchen counter I was the only one there not drinking, Im sure some thought that red solo cup contained an alcoholic beverage, didnt bother me, accidents happen.

I assume it was your husband who accused you? tell him you need his support not his criticism. Stay on the path it gets easier over time.

CaiHong

camillebelle,
You have to believe that things will get better,you will be able to handle situations appropriately, I promise you. I think you are right and need more support in the early days.

Hang in there.
caiHong

Dee74

I'm guessing psychologists counsellors and therapists are bound by the same patient confidentiality there that they are here in my country Camille.

Be cautious and aware by all means, but I think it would be a mistake to for anyone to use your partner's career or social standing, whatever it is, as a reason not to get help.

Look at Betty Ford. Can't get much more high profile than the wife of the US president - she got help

D

GirlFromCO

You read my mind, D. I was just about to post that!

jocata

Belle, the problems could become much worse for you and your husband if you don't get help and stop drinking.

Please try something.

God bless.

DesperadoBlond

That sucks! I can see similar things happening in my own future.

Good thing, at least for me, is that I think I have learned a lot more from my relapses than from my actual long haul drinking days.

Since I stopped drinking totally the first time, I've had 2-3 relapses and the result is now that I've realised I don't even enjoy booze anymore. Apart from that first glass and the time it takes to pour a second one. After that it's all bad.

Hopefully you too can draw wisdom and experience from what happened to you.

Terminally Unique

Did you ever read the RR book you ordered, Camille? It tells you how to quit drinking without anyone finding out.

Book should be here in two-three days...

Bianca105

Camille,
One time I fell clear over, one second I was standing, the next second on the ground!
Everyone had a good laugh at how "drunk" I was, but I hadn't had a sip!
The truth was I'd bought a pair of heels one size too big b/c they were the last pair at the store...oh well

I was totally mortified, but if people are going to think I'm drunk, I can't change that. It happens. Some people can be very insensitive but it's not always personal.

SoCalDude

Buy a pocket breathalizer and carry it around with you!

Sorry you fell again, but dust yourself back off and start anew. You can do it!

NoHo

Is this a common thing? Early in recovery, I knocked over glasses at three dinners - completely stoned sober.