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Old 01-22-2012, 09:58 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Time to quit drinking


My girlfriend of over a year and a half left me 3 days ago and I lost my job back in September, alcohol was a major factor in losing both. I am an alcoholic. I feel like I am officially at rock bottom and the alcohol has to go. I had a half bottle of Rye and dumped it down the drain a few hours ago and have been watching self help videos on youtube.

I began drinking at the age of 15 but really began to drink heavily around the age of 21, I am 31 now. I usually drink 7 or 8 Tall boys every night, if I miss a day its because I was too sick from the night before. When she left I hit the Rye, hard.

We had a fight 3 nights ago over the phone, she was trying to work things out and give me goals to achieve to better myself and my situation. She didnt know, but I was drunk and said mean things and disregarded everything she said. I woke up hungover and she wanted out..I could barely even remember the conversation from the night before but what she recited to me was brutal. Now there has been no contact and this alcohol problem must be taken care of, immediately.

We didnt live together and she was totally unaware of me pounding back all those beers every night. When she would come over I would hide the empties, when we would meet it would never be before noon or 1pm because I was recovering from a hangover and didnt want her to see.

I've grown complacent, no energy, always hungover, barely eat, not really looking for a new job and just generally a loser. I cant blame her for leaving.

So starting now I am stopping the booze. My first goal is to go 3 days, then hopefully push that to 5, 7, 10 etc. One day at a time.

I did this once before in my 20's when I couldnt afford any alcohol and after 2 weeks I didnt even have any cravings so hopefully it wont be too different this time around.

Anyway, Ill likely be spending lots of time here as I am sure there will be times when support and advice will be needed. I am committed to making this work and thank everyone in advance for the help and support.
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Old 01-22-2012, 10:09 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Welcome MustStop. You'll find tons of support here.




Best Wishes To You!
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Old 01-22-2012, 10:10 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Welcome, this is a great day for support
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Old 01-22-2012, 10:19 PM   #4 (permalink)
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hi and welcome muststop

the only advice I want to give you right now is see a Dr if you've been drinking heavily or regularly for a long time...detox can be rough sometimes.

and make sure you're quitting for you - quitting for someone else can certainly get you started, but I think nearly everyone will agree: you need internal motivation to keep your recovery going

you'll find a lot of support here

D
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Old 01-22-2012, 10:22 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Ive been there Muststop. I lost my job due to drinking and that just gave me more time to drink. I moved into my girlfriend's place thinking she would keep me sober, but I just drank when she wasnt around and hid bottles. I half-heartedly looked for a new job, drinking got worse, and she had me removed from her place by the police after a fight. I moved back to my parents, went to rehab, and i have a new job and apartment now. I had one relapse since, but im back on a good path now. This all happened this time last year. Im 35 now, but really ive been in state of arrested development for the last ten years. My friends all got married, had kids etc. But I was stuck at 25, acting the same. It feels good to get a new beginning...give it a shot!
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Old 01-22-2012, 10:23 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Welcome muststop, this board is great support!
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Old 01-22-2012, 10:23 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Quote:
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hi and welcome muststop

the only advice I want to give you right now is see a Dr if you've been drinking heavily or regularly for a long time...detox can be rough sometimes.

and make sure you're quitting for you - quitting for someone else can certainly get you started, but I think nearly everyone will agree: you need internal motivation to keep your recovery going

you'll find a lot of support here

D
I am quitting for myself and the flame is lit. I've never wanted to stop this strongly before. I've hit rock bottom, only place I can go from here is up. Ill see how I feel at first, if its brutal I'll go see a Dr.

Right now I have the usual poor sleeping patterns, depression (could be due to the break up) and anxiety.
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Old 01-22-2012, 10:27 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Ive been there Muststop. I lost my job due to drinking and that just gave me more time to drink. I moved into my girlfriend's place thinking she would keep me sober, but I just drank when she wasnt around and hid bottles. I half-heartedly looked for a new job, drinking got worse, and she had me removed from her place by the police after a fight. I moved back to my parents, went to rehab, and i have a new job and apartment now. I had one relapse since, but im back on a good path now. This all happened this time last year. Im 35 now, but really ive been in state of arrested development for the last ten years. My friends all got married, had kids etc. But I was stuck at 25, acting the same. It feels good to get a new beginning...give it a shot!
Thanks for this post! Eerily similar to me, currently back living with family and yes, all friends are getting married and having kids...I am still living like a 20 year old. There are so many issues tied to the booze.

Eventual plan is to sober up, find a new job and get my own place.
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Old 01-22-2012, 10:42 PM   #9 (permalink)
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I even dropped out of College, I would sit in my room and drink alone playing on the computer. Never got involved, just did the bare minimum to pass classes. I was handed an amazing internship opportunity but was still drinking in the evening and going in hungover, barely functioning enough to do my tasks and duties. Likely would have been fired if it was a real F/T position. After that I applied for a much crappier position in sales which I HATED. Drinking got even worse because of my schedule, some days I would go in at noon...just meant I could drink more in the evenings, this is the job I slowly stopped showing up to and eventually got fired. That was September, I've made zero progress and drinking has gotten very bad. It ends now.

God, I would even mix up the liquor stores I went to so that the clerks wouldnt think I drank as much as I was. So pathetic..

My dad is a huge drunk and lives in the slums just like his dad did. On the other side of the family its filled with drunks too.
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Old 01-22-2012, 11:20 PM   #10 (permalink)
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God, I would even mix up the liquor stores I went to so that the clerks wouldnt think I drank as much as I was. So pathetic..
I did the same thing too. I would go to many different stores to get my alcohol. I to didn't want people to know that I drank that much. Good thing that's in the pass. I general slip once every month or 2. It's hard but it's better then drinking 5 times a week.
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Old 01-23-2012, 12:05 AM   #11 (permalink)
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I'll admit I was taking a risk, but I found it somewhat gratifying to go into my 'main' beer stop just to grab a fountain drink and some chips last month. All of them use to know me as the scruffy looking guy always grabbing a twelve pack (at the least), not saying much, pay and leave. He asked "No beer for you?" and I told him I had to change my diet, with a smile and we talked for a little while.
I've gone in there and most of my other old beer stores a few times in the last two months and most of them seem impressed and thankful I'm not dead.
Good Luck with your sobriety and do your best to be grateful for it. Do it for yourself, not for others.
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Old 01-23-2012, 12:16 AM   #12 (permalink)
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I am pretty scruffy right now too. All I've eaten is a little bit of soup and crackers the last few days. When she said she wanted out and there was no fixing things I actually threw up my coffee. Later that day I threw up again. I've been such a mess and need to get my life back in order. Question though, a friend of mine that lives about 4 hours away said I gotta get out of here and go visit him. This includes picking up his wifes friend that lives by me so she can ride up with me.

I am sure the time with another female, even just casual would be nice and get my mind off things but my buddy up there is also an alcoholic. All we do together is drink and its been like that since highschool. I am going to tell him I can't make it, I need to get some sober days under my belt first and to be honest I am not into spending 8 hours in my car with a stranger, even if she's female. Too early for that IMO.
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Old 01-23-2012, 12:52 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Welcome muststop!

Good choice to decline the trip..... I kept things pretty simple the first week or two (and spent a lot of time here). This is a great place, so keep reading/posting, and don't hesitate to get medical help for detox if you need it.

Hang in there - things really will get better.
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Old 01-23-2012, 12:56 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Ya... I've been lucky(?) where that is concerned during my detox and recovery, all of my old friends either escaped or I ended up running them off. Kinda sucks, but I am pretty much starting off with a clean slate. Really good idea to be cautious of that situation.
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Old 01-23-2012, 01:53 AM   #15 (permalink)
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If you feel better not drinking then you've solved your drinking problem.

If you find after a while that you feel edgy, irritable, and the world and people look ugly and dangerous and you've gotten the short shaft in life and may as well drink again because what could one hurt, then you're likely alcoholic and stopping drinking just makes us feel worse, not better and returns us to drinking when we'd earlier decided firmly we weren't going to do that.

I hope you feel better and are able to enjoy not drinking for the rest of your life. That would mean the only thing that was blocking your success in life was booze. That's far different than the changes an alcoholic must make to stay comfortably sober for their lifetime, and not something to be entered into unless you have no other choice.
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Old 01-23-2012, 07:44 AM   #16 (permalink)
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If you feel better not drinking then you've solved your drinking problem.

If you find after a while that you feel edgy, irritable, and the world and people look ugly and dangerous and you've gotten the short shaft in life and may as well drink again because what could one hurt, then you're likely alcoholic and stopping drinking just makes us feel worse, not better and returns us to drinking when we'd earlier decided firmly we weren't going to do that.

I hope you feel better and are able to enjoy not drinking for the rest of your life. That would mean the only thing that was blocking your success in life was booze. That's far different than the changes an alcoholic must make to stay comfortably sober for their lifetime, and not something to be entered into unless you have no other choice.
Here we go into day 2 of being sober.

Yes, booze made me put other things off. I've missed so much just being hung over. Never took anything seriously, it was like an anchor holding me down and I was oblivious to how much harm its been causing me. I've made some bad decisions and choices while in a drunken stupor that has caused me to go backwards in life.

I am not happy about where I am today, I am not happy about how little I've advanced. Far from successful but I have the talent and potential to do anything I want and succeed at it. While being a drunk I think of it to the equivalent of only running at 1/3 potential..maybe less.

I'd love to hear some turn around stories from others that have recovered.
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Old 01-23-2012, 08:01 AM   #17 (permalink)
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try working on you, the next girlfriend deserves an all around healthy boyfriend. focus on you!
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Old 01-23-2012, 08:37 AM   #18 (permalink)
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Looking for a turn-around story? Look in the mirror!

I don't mean that in a bad way, we're the lucky ones and now you found us. The only reason I don't drink under a bridge, there's no WI-Fi connection down there so my broker in Hong Kong gets pissed off with me.
I can't make you stop drinking, you can only do that in my opinion, but, I'm a complete stranger on the internet willing to listen and support your efforts. I came here 2 years ago, did a load of "blah, blah, blah" and vanished, now I'm back again, not entirely worse off, but 2 years of no progress to show for it. Explore the site, look at the different options, all the answers are here, but it might take a while to discover for yourself.
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Old 01-23-2012, 08:48 AM   #19 (permalink)
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Thanks, Ive been on this site non-stop since finding it yesterday. Gotta say its pretty amazing, tons of info and support. Thank you everyone!
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Old 01-23-2012, 08:52 AM   #20 (permalink)
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God, I would even mix up the liquor stores I went to so that the clerks wouldnt think I drank as much as I was. So pathetic..
Been there, done that, burned the T-shirt. Welcome, MustStop - this is an amazing place of kindness and support. You can do this :-)
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