Putting Recovery First- Advice Anyone?
 

Hi everyone-

In the past couple of weeks, I've started to feel a little lost when trying to make time for recovery. I know I need to work on balance. I just have this tendency to throw my all into one thing only at a time. Right now it's work, a couple of weeks ago I had some time off and dedicated myself to recovery. Almost to the extreme. I don't have kids and I'm not married, probably because I don't put any time into personal life to make it happen. If something is tugging at me, I chase it and give it my all. My question for you guys is, have you experienced any of this "one track" thinking since getting sober? How did you manage it? I would really like to build a healthy balance between work/recovery/friends/relationships without feeling so foggy. I need to work on me!!!!! I have no clue where to even start. :lala Thanks for the help.

I'm not an alcoholic (bf is a RA), but I do have that tendency you're talking about. Some people just have it as part of their personality IMO.

Do you go to AA or have a support group?

Yes, both AA and recovery group, but in the past week I've weened away from recovery and focused more on work. Most seem to be able to focus on several things at once. For example, work all day, go to meeting, go home to family. I can't imagine doing all of that...I'm starting to think I'm a little OCD

It is good to be able to focus and specify what you want to accomplish. start your day or your week off with a written list of specific things you need to do to reach your objectives--perhaps like you already do at work. There can be more then one. Then focus on each specific list component, getting it accomplished. Within that list you can put time to workout (half hour run, or walk around the block) in addition to other things.

Just a thought.

Love that idea, thank you. I've not really a list person (except in my head) but it would probably help a lot just getting everything down on paper and following what needs to be done instead of floating through the fog. Thanks! I'm going to start that tomorrow. Lists, lists, lists

Hi Inca
 

I know exactly what you are talking about. Maybe a meeting during your lunch hour might work?

Hi Inca. Like you I'm not married & no kids, heavy workload. Sometimes I feel really rushed & frazzled, and don't take the time I need for myself to be better. I'm in my 10th month of sobriety & when I feel like this I always try to remember the immense time I used to put into getting loaded every day. That helps to give perspective. If I even used to spend just one hour per day (really, it was many, many more) getting drunk in my past life, surely now I can spend one hour on me doing things that further my recovery. :)

You could categorize tasks by priority. Make one list titled Must Do Today, another titled Must Do This Week, another Will Do If Have Time, and so on.

(((Inca))) - I totally get what you're saying. When I began recovery, though I did work, I wanted to yell to my family "I'm working on my recovery - back off!!!"

I've got almost 5 years in recovery, but I still obsess about things. I think it's just part of my personality.

I'm back in school. Last semester I spent an obscene amount of time studying. I got burned out 3 weeks before the semester ended, though did just fine in my grades.

This semester, I'm trying to balance out work and school...listening to those who know me and have offered gentle/not-so-gentle advice:) I'm only in week 2, but it seems to be working. I'm really grateful to my SR friends who tell me "okay, you're getting a wee bit obsessive - take a break!!!" I've even been helping a non-A school friend deal with HER obsessive tendencies.

As with everything else in my recovery, this has taken time. A bit more time than I had counted on, but it's all good:) Heck, today I've spent most of the day on SR, have one school project to do, but deadline isn't for two more days:) Will work tomorrow, work on project tomorrow night, spend time on SR tonight.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

Right! When I consider that I used to spend 8 hours a day drinking if I can focus that time to something productive, should help. Prioritize too. For example: 8 hrs work (and walk away from it no matter what) 1 hr workout, 1 hr recovery reading. Really I think I need some more structure to my day. That's what I'm hearing here. Thanks much!

Know what you mean Inca. I think balance is the one thing we alcoholics have trouble achieving. We tend to be all or nothing people.

I find my life is more satisfying when I have a little bit of balance though.

My God and my recovery have to be priority in my life, or I will have nothing else(family, job, social life, and freedom, or even life).

I think we all ebb and flow between different things that go on in our lives. Paying more attention to one thing this week, something else next week. Balance is tough.

Don't let your sobriety take a back seat though. You will be in trouble before you realize. I know that from personal experience my friend.

Thanks for the post, Inca, it reminded me that I need balance too.

God bless.

Inca, I know that balance has been absolutely necessary for my recovery. I need to find balance in all parts of my life. I think you're on the right track. :)

When you drank, was that your only focus? Why keep playing games with your life? I assume you went to work the day after you drank.....

For me number one is recovery, everything else is secondary.
I suggest you find time for recovery daily. lists are good.
All the best
caiHong

the way i found balance was by having the discipline to follow a schedule. not being a smartass i just think it's that simple, albeit not easy. part of my addiction is to obsess over a particular thing to where it dominates my life. this is true in recovery as well. for me time management and priorization were the key. Do my work, then have a set time where i'd get in my exercise, then my meetings, then my reading, etc... i scheduled out my weeks with recovery and overall healthy endeavors being the focal point of my free time and then stuck to it. i'm self employed and while the business has hours of operation i could easily just work work work to "make up for lost time". i just had to not do that.

getting imbalanced by allowing work, or video games or whatever dominate my life makes me feel sick today. i

my first sponsor told me that anything i put before my recovery will be the first thing i lose. that doesn't mean that recovery is the only thing in my life, but it has to be the focal point. and by recovery i don't just mean meetings. putting recovery first means that my priority activities each day are those that enrich my physical, emotional, and spiritual well being. this includes good sleep, good nutrition, exercise, meetings, step work, prayer and meditation. I *try* to do these things every single day. I make myself pray and meditate every day and after a few months it just became a routine. I have some cheat days as far as diet and exercise and sometimes stay up too late. I committed to a 90n90 at first and made myself do it. Now i make myself attend my two homegroup meetings weekly and a minimum of one more of my choosing. Often times it's more. I make myself read the just for day and reflections daily meditations in the mornings before i pray and meditate. But if i allow too much slipping for more than 48 consecutive hours i will start sliding very quickly. Then i start feeling sick, isolated, low self esteem...all those old patterns emerge and a drink or a drug will enter my mind and become a possibility. Plus i just don't like feeling "off".

So it's really as simple as discipline for me. I fail more than i would like, but the intent is always there and i never allow myself to retreat back into a day where i'm not attending to most of these needs. Doing this stuff with some zeal in the beginning reaps benefits quickly and makes it much easier to continue even when i don't really want to.

spend 1 hour in the morning-10 minutes reading aa literature, 10 praying, 20 minutes meditating, 20 minutes exercising. Commit to 2 meetings a week. Be there for the newcomer & for you. If you make more, that's a plus. Set aside 30 minutes for stepwork once a week, or use that for meeting with your sponsor. Create a balanced schedule for the rest of your week; family, wife work, errands, whatever else that you do.

You aren't alone! Alkies need to learn to balance as we do obsess! Balance helps us to not get burned out on any aspect of life!