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Old 01-22-2012, 12:16 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Well.. I am not convinced now


Following on from my first thread.

soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/246520-hello-im-new.html

I am just not convinced anymore that i'm an alcoholic, I can hold down a job easily, being a face to face customer service engineer.
I can do lots of things that I dont need a social laxative for.

I went to see a Councillor today in relation to my anxiety and he basically said that the anxiety is the core of my problem and it can of course be made worse by drinking too much and also he said losing my girl would decrease confidence and in turn make the anxiety worse.
He said that quitting drinking may of course help buy it doesn't seem like it is the core problem. He gave me some exercises to do and I have to do them daily and go back to see him in 2 weeks.

I done the exercises today and I feel great after them.

So here it goes I am going to test myself tonight. I'm going out with my mates and I am going to have 4 pints of Guinness and no more than that (I hope)
I'll see how I feel after that and see how I feel tomorrow morning.

I'll keep you posted.
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Old 01-22-2012, 12:51 PM   #2 (permalink)
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OK

None of us can tell you if you're Alcoholic, You have to decide that. I am sure when you finally get sick and tired of being Sick And Tired. You might have another discussion on this somewhere, sometime....
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Old 01-22-2012, 01:13 PM   #3 (permalink)
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That sounds way different than your first post. I hope it's true. Let us know how it goes.
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Old 01-22-2012, 01:21 PM   #4 (permalink)
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(((Wallo))) - I, too, believe that no one can say whether you're an alcoholic but you. I'm really glad you're seeing a counselor. I know of many people who self medicated mental issues (anxiety, bipolar, depression, etc.) with alcohol and/or drugs and became addicted, but only you can answer whether you've crossed the line from self-medicating to addiction.

Most people can set limits on what they drink/use....for a while. My feeling is, if I have to tell myself "I will only have/drink..." then it may be an issue for me.

I truly hope and pray you haven't crossed the line into alcoholism, I understand your doubts, and I wish you the best. Regardless of the outcome, we are here for you.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy
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Old 01-22-2012, 01:25 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Seems like you are determined to address the issues whatever they are, so good for you!

I am not familiar with your other thread, but I do wonder what it means to have to "test"onself! 4 pints of Guiness! Yikes! but I've always been a light weight when it comes to drinking.
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Old 01-22-2012, 01:33 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Hi Wallo

I've just read your other thread and it reads totally different to this one. You seemed really adamant that you didn't want to drink again. Not putting labels on it or anything. Please don't let your counselor or anyone else tell you that you don't have a problem-I'm not saying you have a problem, just that only you know deep down. It's not for outsiders to tell us we do or don't have a problem as they don't know us as we know ourselves, if you see what I mean. good luck.
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Old 01-22-2012, 02:59 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Agreed, only you can decide if you have a problem with booze. Weather you do or don't, time will tell, good luck to you
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Old 01-22-2012, 03:08 PM   #8 (permalink)
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AA Big Book PP. 31-32..."we do not like to pronounce any individual as alcoholic, but you can quickly diagnose yourself. Step over to the nearest barroom and try some controlled drinking. Try to drink and stop abruptly. Try it more than once. It will not take long for you to decide, if you are honest with yourself about it. It may worth a bad case of the jitters if you get a full knowledge of your condition."
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Old 01-22-2012, 03:10 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Isnt it Sunday where you are Wallo?

Lots of us held down jobs, and lots of us had reasons to drink Wallo.

Lots of us grabbed on to things that other people said as justification to keep drinking too.

The fact is, if I read your first post right, your gf left you over your drinking. That seems to me to be an independent corroboration that there is in fact a problem.

You also said you've been drinking for many years?
I don't really think there's anything to test Wallo....but good luck to you.

D
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Old 01-22-2012, 03:11 PM   #10 (permalink)
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double post.

D
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Old 01-22-2012, 03:18 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Best of luck to you through all this and thinking of you
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Old 01-22-2012, 03:23 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Best of luck with your experiment wallo.

God bless.
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Old 01-22-2012, 03:32 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Wallo, anxiety was at the root of my problems, too.

But, I still became an alcoholic.
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Old 01-22-2012, 03:44 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wallo View Post
So here it goes I am going to test myself tonight. I'm going out with my mates and I am going to have 4 pints of Guinness and no more than that (I hope)
I'll see how I feel after that and see how I feel tomorrow morning.

I'll keep you posted.
Ah, yes. The "test." I've tested myself probably a good six or seven times over the years. The problem was.. that I always "passed." I would be successful in limiting myself, sometimes for weeks on end. It always convinced me that I didn't have a problem.. until I saw the mountain of beer boxes pile up next to the trash when I stopped keeping myself in check.

I'm going to have to echo what many have already stated in saying this: if there's something to test, then there's a problem that needs solving. You may get an 'A+' on your test, but fail when its over. I hope that makes sense.
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Old 01-22-2012, 04:20 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Yeah I can see your points and I agree with the fact that there has been some contradiction in my posts.

The fact is... I have had social anxiety for years, in my opinion that is my problem and that is what I need to cure. I do agree that when I drink to excess my anxiety definitely can get extremely worse. Cant i just be a ******* man and drink a pint or two moderately and have a bit of self control.

Yes I did lose my girl because of a stupid night drinking when I lost control but apart from that we were in love and my drinking as a whole was not a massive issue. We could go out and enjoy ourselves many times without alcohol.
I think we would have worked through the problem only she was due to go abroad for 6-7 months and that was the problem too. Maybe she was just not the one for me. LOVE is just and word, BUT attached to it is many other meanings.

I agree I was "self medicating" that is for sure, but isnt there not a way to cure this "social anxiety" which is the core problem. If that is solved in some way cant i not continue to live my life normally like all of my friends and most people I know.

I went out tonight and I had 4 pints of guinness and a pint of water in between and I feel fine. I dont need another drink, I left the pub happy that I had a good night enjoying a moderate few pints with friends and met some old friends too.

I will follow up tomorrow and see if I feel as good today as I did when I woke up today.

Dont get me wrong or anything I have no intention of filling my house with booze, I am only talking about being able to enjoy a "pint or two" on a night out with my friends - not over excess on my own at home.
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Old 01-22-2012, 04:31 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Hi Wallo! Glad to hear things went well for you. I can relate to some of what you wrote because I have intense social anxiety as well, and having a drink or two definitely helped me relax in social situations. I can see now that one of the main reasons I started drinking was social anxiety. I ran into problems after that, though. I think there's a point of no return, so to speak, when it didn't matter one bit why I started drinking because the fact was that I was an alcoholic. I'm not saying this is true for you, but it might be something to think about given what I read in your other posts.

Be well
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Old 01-22-2012, 04:38 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Hi GirlFromCo,

I think i would prefer at the moment to drastically cut my drinking down to maybe 1% of what is was and see a counselor for my social anxiety and try deal with that core issue, I think personally this is possible as I am so conscious of my drinking now.
But if I slip again in the dark world of extreme drinking that will be the last time, I really dont think that will happen though...time will tell.

I do know some severe alcoholics and I am nowhere near where they are.

Cheers
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Old 01-22-2012, 04:46 PM   #18 (permalink)
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Anxiety was one of my "core issues" as well. I didn't realize that the alcohol made it 10x worse. (even though my doc and counsellor told me)..haha

I am newly sober (28) days, and my anxiety is so much better already!

Keep posting Wallo!
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Old 01-22-2012, 04:49 PM   #19 (permalink)
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I really hope it works out for you, Wallo. Being a problem drinker is a lot more fun than being an alcoholic and knowing that you need to quit. Not that it's any better for you or anything, but you don't have to worry about things like what will you do around your friends when you hang out, your appalling behavior for the past sometimes several years, learning how to delay gratification, and all the rest. I'm so glad I made the decision to get sober, and I feel blessed now and thankful for every day I'm alive, but I would rather not have put myself in the position to need to make those decisions in the first place.

All my best
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Old 01-22-2012, 04:51 PM   #20 (permalink)
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Wallo, don't take this the wrong way, but what you're saying now is almost exactly what I was saying about 3 years ago. I'm not saying that you're headed down my path, but I will say it's definitely a possibility.

One day, I asked myself who it was that I was trying to convince in saying things like "I'm not NEARLY as bad as THAT guy" and "if this ever happens again, I'll quit for good." Three years later.. being conscious of my problem all the while.. I'm still struggling.
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