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Old 01-22-2012, 06:53 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Drinking spouse?


How do you all handle a spouse who drinks? My husband does not have a problem with alcohol and he enjoys to have a couple of beers in the evenings every now and then. Since it is not his fault I am an alcoholic I feel bad telling him to never bring it in the house. I know he wouldnt of I asked him not to, but I want to be fair to him as well. What is the best way to approach this?
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Old 01-22-2012, 07:01 AM   #2 (permalink)
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If he drinks occasionally, then hopefully it won't be a problem for you.

Are you able to go into a different room and read or something to be away from him while he's drinking?
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Old 01-22-2012, 07:05 AM   #3 (permalink)
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We have a separate small fridge in the back corner of the basement, it's my wife's fridge and what is in it belongs to her, I respect her belongings so I leave her 12 pack alone. I guess out of site, out of mind and it does not belong to me is enough to keep me away from it.
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Old 01-22-2012, 07:11 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Yeah, I could probably go into a different room. I hate to have to do that though. I was thinking of maybe asking him to buy beer that I would not be tempted with. I only like lite beers and if he were drinking strong beer such as Seeetwater (which he likes) I don't think i would want to drink it. Last night he went out and bought a 12 pk of Yuengling Light (one of my favs) but he didn't know about me trying to recover until he got home and I told him about my first AA meeting.
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Old 01-22-2012, 07:13 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Bikeguy, we have a separate fridge too. He keeps it in the garage. It does make it easier than it constantly being in my face in the kitchen.
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Old 01-22-2012, 07:31 AM   #6 (permalink)
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My husband stopped drinking for a few months early on in my recovery, over time he started bringing beer into the house, but it's in the basement in our 'bar' area.. but at this point it really doesn't bug me. He drinks a couple of beers every few Sundays, or a night or two here and there out with friends, never more than 2.. which still baffles me lol
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Old 01-22-2012, 08:06 AM   #7 (permalink)
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I was in the same situation when I quit drinking.

I didn't ask my husband to change his behavior at all. It was my problem, not his, and if his drinking was bothering me I simply left the room until he'd finished his beer.

Good practice for the real world. We can't escape from the fact that people drink, and most of them don't have a problem with it.
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Old 01-22-2012, 08:25 AM   #8 (permalink)
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My wife quit smoking almost 10 years before I did. She's a saint !!

You could tell him exactly how you feel, how you are afraid of giving in to temptation. He may have a good idea on what to do. I have a few great AA friends who's spouses are drinking, it can be done.

All the best in solving your problem.

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Old 01-22-2012, 02:18 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Keep you spouse in touch with your recovery, maybe tell them what your learning, your feeling, desires, temptations etc.
Hang in there
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