Hello, I'm new
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 19
Hello, I'm new
Hi Guys thought I would introduce myself.
Well i'm 29 and Irish (lol alcoholic capital of the world)
Basically I have been a drinker since the age of 14 and I actually think I may have been born with the problems that led me to becoming an alcoholic, I was very shy in school and college and I never had a serious relationship until I was 28, I am sure I should have grown out of this shyness at this stage but I am still terrible a socializing without drinking and even then I get too drunk to interest people.
I am on my first day of going sober and have been prescribed Valium just for a few days to counteract the DT's.
I had gave up drinking before but only for a month as I didn't think I was an Alcoholic, I thought I just needed a break and said to myself when I have a drink again I will do it moderately, obviously that didn't work and I came back twice as bad.
The part of all this that makes me sad is I lost my Girlfriend because of my drinking and we both loved each other dearly, finding it very difficult to forgive myself for that and I also miss her like crazy. Ill try not to say to much about my Girl but its a big part of my problem.
She was going away for a 6 month university exchange and I acted like a drunk idiot in front of her friends and family a month before she left. She told me the reason for ending the relationship was my drinking and that she loves me to bits but I was hurting her. This was the time I stopped for a month as I didnt want to lose her.
We continued to see each other for coffees and on and off during the month before she left and at the airport when she was leaving she said that she loves me and still sees a future for us but I need to sort out my drinking and she said she wants me to do it for myself and not for her. Unfortunately she said to me in an email last week, "As life is never planned and you never know what is going to happen in the future, I can say that I cannot see us together in the future, and we can only be friends as I have met someone in my travels here in Sweden and I am very happy. I think she is lying to be honest so that I will move on and not want to get back with her, she is going back to Australia in a few weeks and I am back there in a few weeks too, irrelevant really as she doesn't want me back.
This left me devastated and I hit the bottle for 6 days straight before waking up today and going to the doctor.
Any advise on getting over this would be helpful, the last time I stopped drinking I was motivated by getting my girl back but this time all I have is the fact that it makes me seriously depressed.
Well i'm 29 and Irish (lol alcoholic capital of the world)
Basically I have been a drinker since the age of 14 and I actually think I may have been born with the problems that led me to becoming an alcoholic, I was very shy in school and college and I never had a serious relationship until I was 28, I am sure I should have grown out of this shyness at this stage but I am still terrible a socializing without drinking and even then I get too drunk to interest people.
I am on my first day of going sober and have been prescribed Valium just for a few days to counteract the DT's.
I had gave up drinking before but only for a month as I didn't think I was an Alcoholic, I thought I just needed a break and said to myself when I have a drink again I will do it moderately, obviously that didn't work and I came back twice as bad.
The part of all this that makes me sad is I lost my Girlfriend because of my drinking and we both loved each other dearly, finding it very difficult to forgive myself for that and I also miss her like crazy. Ill try not to say to much about my Girl but its a big part of my problem.
She was going away for a 6 month university exchange and I acted like a drunk idiot in front of her friends and family a month before she left. She told me the reason for ending the relationship was my drinking and that she loves me to bits but I was hurting her. This was the time I stopped for a month as I didnt want to lose her.
We continued to see each other for coffees and on and off during the month before she left and at the airport when she was leaving she said that she loves me and still sees a future for us but I need to sort out my drinking and she said she wants me to do it for myself and not for her. Unfortunately she said to me in an email last week, "As life is never planned and you never know what is going to happen in the future, I can say that I cannot see us together in the future, and we can only be friends as I have met someone in my travels here in Sweden and I am very happy. I think she is lying to be honest so that I will move on and not want to get back with her, she is going back to Australia in a few weeks and I am back there in a few weeks too, irrelevant really as she doesn't want me back.
This left me devastated and I hit the bottle for 6 days straight before waking up today and going to the doctor.
Any advise on getting over this would be helpful, the last time I stopped drinking I was motivated by getting my girl back but this time all I have is the fact that it makes me seriously depressed.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: North FLA
Posts: 115
Originally Posted by Wallo 
Hi Guys thought I would introduce myself.
Well i'm 29 and Irish (lol alcoholic capital of the world)
Basically I have been a drinker since the age of 14 and I actually think I may have been born with the problems that led me to becoming an alcoholic, I was very shy in school and college and I never had a serious relationship until I was 28, I am sure I should have grown out of this shyness at this stage but I am still terrible a socializing without drinking and even then I get too drunk to interest people.
I am on my first day of going sober and have been prescribed Valium just for a few days to counteract the DT's.
I had gave up drinking before but only for a month as I didn't think I was an Alcoholic, I thought I just needed a break and said to myself when I have a drink again I will do it moderately, obviously that didn't work and I came back twice as bad.
The part of all this that makes me sad is I lost my Girlfriend because of my drinking and we both loved each other dearly, finding it very difficult to forgive myself for that and I also miss her like crazy. Ill try not to say to much about my Girl but its a big part of my problem.
She was going away for a 6 month university exchange and I acted like a drunk idiot in front of her friends and family a month before she left. She told me the reason for ending the relationship was my drinking and that she loves me to bits but I was hurting her. This was the time I stopped for a month as I didnt want to lose her.
We continued to see each other for coffees and on and off during the month before she left and at the airport when she was leaving she said that she loves me and still sees a future for us but I need to sort out my drinking and she said she wants me to do it for myself and not for her. Unfortunately she said to me in an email last week, "As life is never planned and you never know what is going to happen in the future, I can say that I cannot see us together in the future, and we can only be friends as I have met someone in my travels here in Sweden and I am very happy. I think she is lying to be honest so that I will move on and not want to get back with her, she is going back to Australia in a few weeks and I am back there in a few weeks too, irrelevant really as she doesn't want me back.
This left me devastated and I hit the bottle for 6 days straight before waking up today and going to the doctor.
Any advise on getting over this would be helpful, the last time I stopped drinking I was motivated by getting my girl back but this time all I have is the fact that it makes me seriously depressed.
Well i'm 29 and Irish (lol alcoholic capital of the world)
Basically I have been a drinker since the age of 14 and I actually think I may have been born with the problems that led me to becoming an alcoholic, I was very shy in school and college and I never had a serious relationship until I was 28, I am sure I should have grown out of this shyness at this stage but I am still terrible a socializing without drinking and even then I get too drunk to interest people.
I am on my first day of going sober and have been prescribed Valium just for a few days to counteract the DT's.
I had gave up drinking before but only for a month as I didn't think I was an Alcoholic, I thought I just needed a break and said to myself when I have a drink again I will do it moderately, obviously that didn't work and I came back twice as bad.
The part of all this that makes me sad is I lost my Girlfriend because of my drinking and we both loved each other dearly, finding it very difficult to forgive myself for that and I also miss her like crazy. Ill try not to say to much about my Girl but its a big part of my problem.
She was going away for a 6 month university exchange and I acted like a drunk idiot in front of her friends and family a month before she left. She told me the reason for ending the relationship was my drinking and that she loves me to bits but I was hurting her. This was the time I stopped for a month as I didnt want to lose her.
We continued to see each other for coffees and on and off during the month before she left and at the airport when she was leaving she said that she loves me and still sees a future for us but I need to sort out my drinking and she said she wants me to do it for myself and not for her. Unfortunately she said to me in an email last week, "As life is never planned and you never know what is going to happen in the future, I can say that I cannot see us together in the future, and we can only be friends as I have met someone in my travels here in Sweden and I am very happy. I think she is lying to be honest so that I will move on and not want to get back with her, she is going back to Australia in a few weeks and I am back there in a few weeks too, irrelevant really as she doesn't want me back.
This left me devastated and I hit the bottle for 6 days straight before waking up today and going to the doctor.
Any advise on getting over this would be helpful, the last time I stopped drinking I was motivated by getting my girl back but this time all I have is the fact that it makes me seriously depressed.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Newburgh
Posts: 868
Hey Wallo, so glad you found this site.
Alcohol made me really depressed too, especially toward the end of my drinking days. But I still couldn't stop on my own. I needed help. This is a great place to start. I have to have a program to work where I can talk face to face with other people in recovery too. Replacing that void that alcohol and drugs filled with something positive is vital to my recovery.
Check out the different recovery programs many people use. You can get tons of info on this website.
Hang in there, it can get better with some hard work.
God bless.
Alcohol made me really depressed too, especially toward the end of my drinking days. But I still couldn't stop on my own. I needed help. This is a great place to start. I have to have a program to work where I can talk face to face with other people in recovery too. Replacing that void that alcohol and drugs filled with something positive is vital to my recovery.
Check out the different recovery programs many people use. You can get tons of info on this website.
Hang in there, it can get better with some hard work.
God bless.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: South Dakota
Posts: 1,061
Welcome to Sober Recovery Wallo. I think you made a huge first step by going to the doctor this morning. You need to work on getting yourself healthy and sober and the rest will work itself out over time. Keep reading and keep posting, you can do this.
Resident
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Toronto, Ontario
Posts: 4,150
to SR.Failed relationships are one of the hardest things to deal with.
If drinking only makes you depressed it sounds like something you would want to avoid.
You may be right and maybe she is just testing you to make sure you are quitting for the right reasons.
Either way I am sure all will work out well for you.
Good luck.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 19
Thanks guys, I don't think I will find it too hard to quit the drinking now that I know I have a problem with it.
I think my biggest challenge will be to build my social confidence as that is why I developed the drink problem in the first place.
I think my biggest challenge will be to build my social confidence as that is why I developed the drink problem in the first place.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 133
Hi Wallo, usually if I join an internet forum, it's all Americans, for some strange reason there's a large proportion of Irish here. Have a look around the site and read as much as you can, it's a great resource with some fine people to help you out, don't forget to help us too. If you want to contact any other Paddies, there's plenty of us here.
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 1,028
Hi Wallo! Welcome to SR! 
Relationships really get the brunt of alcoholism. As for the social anxiety, etc. It could be that you need to see a professional. If this is something you've had issues with all your life then drinking was probably a symptom of this issue. I'm obviously no doctor but speaking from a place familar to yours I can say that's what I did. I self medicated. Now I've let the doctors take care of this issue for me instead of alcohol.
I still feel awkward and shy but not to the point where it effects my interpersonal relationships or ability to communicate and hold down a job. And I can challenge myself to be in situations I used to avoid like crazy. At one point I did have to quit a job and that's when I just knew this was serious. So off to the specialists I went and it's been a journey since 1995.
Point is, if you know you have serious anxiety don't ignore it. Let the doctors point you in the right direction to healing this fear because that's all anxiety is. Take care and glad you are here.
Relationships really get the brunt of alcoholism. As for the social anxiety, etc. It could be that you need to see a professional. If this is something you've had issues with all your life then drinking was probably a symptom of this issue. I'm obviously no doctor but speaking from a place familar to yours I can say that's what I did. I self medicated. Now I've let the doctors take care of this issue for me instead of alcohol.
I still feel awkward and shy but not to the point where it effects my interpersonal relationships or ability to communicate and hold down a job. And I can challenge myself to be in situations I used to avoid like crazy. At one point I did have to quit a job and that's when I just knew this was serious. So off to the specialists I went and it's been a journey since 1995.
Point is, if you know you have serious anxiety don't ignore it. Let the doctors point you in the right direction to healing this fear because that's all anxiety is.
Take care and glad you are here.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,473
I'm sorry that the breakup is such a sad time for you, but hopefully you will be able to move on. Assume that your girlfriend is being honest and that she met someone else, and I'm sure she hopes that you will too. Focus on your recovery and you will find your life improve substantially.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Bowling Green, Kentucky
Posts: 39
Thanks for sharing Wallo...
I'm sorry to learn of your recent woes with your girl. It does often provide a great motivator for change...a woman that is! And if that is what helps you become a better man I say go for it. As far as drinking and it being a problem; only you can answer that for yourself. It took me numerous years of trying to convince myself that I didn't have a problem when I did obviously to everyone except myself. However, simply identifying that one has a problem only accomplishes one thing...identifying that one has a problem. In order to solve a problem of make a problem less problematic there needs to be a solution. For me the solution is to quit taking in a substance that I have an obvious allergic reaction to each time. Having stopped putting in that substance in my body I feel a great deal better. Perhaps it is that you too are allergic to alcohol much the same way that I am and if you stop putting it in your body you will feel much better as well. Good luck on that note and have a great day.
Cob
I'm sorry to learn of your recent woes with your girl. It does often provide a great motivator for change...a woman that is! And if that is what helps you become a better man I say go for it. As far as drinking and it being a problem; only you can answer that for yourself. It took me numerous years of trying to convince myself that I didn't have a problem when I did obviously to everyone except myself. However, simply identifying that one has a problem only accomplishes one thing...identifying that one has a problem. In order to solve a problem of make a problem less problematic there needs to be a solution. For me the solution is to quit taking in a substance that I have an obvious allergic reaction to each time. Having stopped putting in that substance in my body I feel a great deal better. Perhaps it is that you too are allergic to alcohol much the same way that I am and if you stop putting it in your body you will feel much better as well. Good luck on that note and have a great day.
Cob
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Maple Shade, NJ
Posts: 22
Hey Wallo! Welcome to the site! Definitely plenty of good people on here to help you out, I'm coming up on 3 weeks so im pretty new too. You should use yourself as your best reason for getting sober, specifically your hope for a better life if you quit drinking (thats what i do). Depression and anxiety tend to feed off of each other. Getting sober is more than just quitting drinking, it opens you up to a whole new life. So good luck!!!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: St Louis Missouri
Posts: 71
I can remember being in the 8th grade and I had to make a presentation in front of the class. I was really nervous and thought that it would be a good idea to drink one of my Dad's beers before I went in there, to calm me down. I've come to know the alcoholic me. It doesn't fix you, it messes things up 100X worse. Never better. I guess you just have to get use to uncomfortable social situations as a sober person. I guarantee that you are much more interesting and pleasant person to be around when sober, rather the alternative.
I'm sorry you lost your girl, and I know that hurts. last month my son,who was 24 having problems with depression and his girl broke up with him. I came home from work and found him. Please, please, please don't let this destroy you, getting sober will be such a gift for you young man! Only God knows what your plan will be, so I will put you in my prayers for sobriety and happiness again. peace.
I'm sorry you lost your girl, and I know that hurts. last month my son,who was 24 having problems with depression and his girl broke up with him. I came home from work and found him. Please, please, please don't let this destroy you, getting sober will be such a gift for you young man! Only God knows what your plan will be, so I will put you in my prayers for sobriety and happiness again. peace.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Downtown Canada
Posts: 15
It's day 4 for me. I have really found a good place here on this site. I really like the "one day at a time" solution. As long as i make it through today I have won. I'll deal with tomorrow tomorrow.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Downtown Canada
Posts: 15
Originally Posted by Cardinalfan
I can remember being in the 8th grade and I had to make a presentation in front of the class. I was really nervous and thought that it would be a good idea to drink one of my Dad's beers before I went in there, to calm me down. I've come to know the alcoholic me. It doesn't fix you, it messes things up 100X worse. Never better. I guess you just have to get use to uncomfortable social situations as a sober person. I guarantee that you are much more interesting and pleasant person to be around when sober, rather the alternative.
I'm sorry you lost your girl, and I know that hurts. last month my son,who was 24 having problems with depression and his girl broke up with him. I came home from work and found him. Please, please, please don't let this destroy you, getting sober will be such a gift for you young man! Only God knows what your plan will be, so I will put you in my prayers for sobriety and happiness again. peace.
I'm sorry you lost your girl, and I know that hurts. last month my son,who was 24 having problems with depression and his girl broke up with him. I came home from work and found him. Please, please, please don't let this destroy you, getting sober will be such a gift for you young man! Only God knows what your plan will be, so I will put you in my prayers for sobriety and happiness again. peace.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 19
Originally Posted by Cardinalfan
I can remember being in the 8th grade and I had to make a presentation in front of the class. I was really nervous and thought that it would be a good idea to drink one of my Dad's beers before I went in there, to calm me down. I've come to know the alcoholic me. It doesn't fix you, it messes things up 100X worse. Never better. I guess you just have to get use to uncomfortable social situations as a sober person. I guarantee that you are much more interesting and pleasant person to be around when sober, rather the alternative.
I'm sorry you lost your girl, and I know that hurts. last month my son,who was 24 having problems with depression and his girl broke up with him. I came home from work and found him. Please, please, please don't let this destroy you, getting sober will be such a gift for you young man! Only God knows what your plan will be, so I will put you in my prayers for sobriety and happiness again. peace.
I'm sorry you lost your girl, and I know that hurts. last month my son,who was 24 having problems with depression and his girl broke up with him. I came home from work and found him. Please, please, please don't let this destroy you, getting sober will be such a gift for you young man! Only God knows what your plan will be, so I will put you in my prayers for sobriety and happiness again. peace.
I feel pretty good at the moment because I have finally made the decision to quit alcohol and I can see more clearly now and can imagine a much brighter future for myself, however I am on Valium at the moment and that could be the reason. I will never drink again that is for sure. I have started making a list of what I can do with my time now that I will always be able to drive at any time, everything from photography classes (I have recently bought a DSLR camera) to Kite surfing and much more.
I went to a bottle shop today and bought some non-alcoholic beers and tried them because I do love the taste and I can still have that, they were not bad at all. The one thing I will miss is the red wine with dinner. There are some non-alcoholic ones but I can imagine they you be nice I have to try a bottle.
So at least I can still meet my friends in bars, have non-alcoholic beers which I think will be good for my confidence in being able to socialize without alcohol.
I totally agree with Cob's post about being allergic to alcohol, I can totally relate to his comments, I simply cannot just have one beer, if I wait for 30 minutes after that one beer I start feeling anxious and need to continue drinking more and more. That will hold off the anxiety until an hour or two before I wake up the next day and get anxiety that is 10 times worse and I need to have some morning drinks.
There is no way I am going back to that horrible situation.
Ok time for a non-alco beer
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: St Louis Missouri
Posts: 71
I'm definitely alergic to alcohol too!
Keep posting and let everyone know how you are doing. There is so much support 24-7. I like the positive steps you have made already in making your list of what to do with all of the time you will have on your hands. I am an artist and when I was drinking my hands shook so bad that I couldn't draw and paint (plus my creative eye was down the drain) I have several projects in the works now, and my hands still shake a bit, I believe it's mostly because of grief over loosing my precious son. He would be happy to know that I'm painting again, as he was a talented artist as well. Big hug for you Wallo, you are young and have so much to look forward to in the future. peace
Keep posting and let everyone know how you are doing. There is so much support 24-7. I like the positive steps you have made already in making your list of what to do with all of the time you will have on your hands. I am an artist and when I was drinking my hands shook so bad that I couldn't draw and paint (plus my creative eye was down the drain) I have several projects in the works now, and my hands still shake a bit, I believe it's mostly because of grief over loosing my precious son. He would be happy to know that I'm painting again, as he was a talented artist as well. Big hug for you Wallo, you are young and have so much to look forward to in the future. peace
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