aeo1313

I saw my therapist last night and left feeling worse. Not sure why. I've been home today bc my son is sick, and my depression is getting worse. I have suffered depression as long as I can remember and have been hospitalized with it in the past. I do take medication. I have also been hospitalized in the past for anorexia and bulimia.

Today I just feel like getting sober is a waste of time. I am always going to have depression. I only got drunk on weekends, so what's the difference anyway. I binged and purged this afternoon- haven't done that in a very, very long time. Am I always going to be stuck with some type of addiction? I feel so sorry for my husband bc he is an amazing man and deserves a much better woman. I feel sorry for my children bc they deserve a better mom. I feel so down right now and everything looks bleak.

Will this ever get better? As i said, I have had the depression way longer than the drinking and vicodin use. That is not magically going to disapear. There are many people who love me and depend on me, and I just feel like I am going to let them down...I can't go back to bulimia...that was a horrible way to live.

This sucks

Sunny27

I'm sorry you are going through this aeo.

Have you ever got your meds changed for the depression?

All I can say is we all struggle, some more than others, but the point is to do things that make us happy and feel better.

I know for me, drinking never solved any problem. It only ever made me hate myself.

You are not a bad person and you deserve good things in your life. that means getting rid of the negative influences. Alcohol will only ever bring you down. Please don't ever think otherwise.

I am rooting for you to beat this. You can do it. xx

tgif

Sorry you are feeling this way. Can you ask your doctor to reassess your depression, maybe the meds you are on are not the right kind for you?

Don't give up. In staying sober you are giving your family the you that they deserve.

aeo1313

I just had my meds upped in April and was feeling better then. I started taking vicodin in June and just stopped last week. My therapist said I need to let the anti-depressants start to work again.

IndaMiricale

Aeo, I am praying for you. I dont know much on the eating disorders, but I sure know about alcohol and drug addiction.

Hang in there list to your doctors and keep going out and getting support. All addictions need other to help I believe. Big hug.

Keep coming to chat also, love you been in there.

Good love, Inda

Sunny27

You do aeo. I was on ADs many years ago and drinking totally stopped them working. You have to try and help yourself too, hon xx

Anna

I hope that you feel better soon.

For me, I am on antidepressants and they work fairly well. But, I still have to be very careful to not let my dark moods stay too long with me. Sometimes it's not easy to do that, but, I find music, exercise, a good book, are things that help.

jocata

Aeo, sorry you are down. I can relate to the depression. I abused pain meds(lorotab,oxys),suffer from depression, and take antidepressants. I don't think I've been quite as depressed as I was when I was using and drinking, but it's still hard. I don't want to mess with my dosage yet, unless it gets too bad. I want to let my brain and body level out first. Sometimes when I change a dosage or med. I go down worse than before.

I hope you start to feel better. Please don't give up.

God bless.