Back on the wagon again, feeling irritable!
Memberado
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Europe
Posts: 287
Back on the wagon again, feeling irritable!
Hi guys!
After a few relapses I am back on the wagon again. Trying to keep busy and recently started my own business.
I'm 28. After an unsustainable career abroad, I took the big and sour step of moving back home with my parents (!). They have a big house so I can get my business on the feet here. (That has been their suggestion for years now).
Good news: the terrible anxiety attacks I used to get, that made my life HELL, are gone! Yay for sobriety!
The bad news: I am highly irritable. Especially my parents get on me nerves. They bombard me with suggestions with regard to my life and my business, suggestions that are awesome in their out-of touch way of thinking. They make me want to just shut my door and sleep. How do I make them shut up?
Also, I'm gay. They know it - but pretend it's a "condition" that is going to "go away" or "get better". I think especially my dad thinks I will turn straight now that I am sober.
The truth of the matter is that I don't have the choice of moving elsewhere right now. I chose to work in an enormously competetive field. I've been abroad for years getting the work experience I need for finally doing my thing with my own business. However, as in many creative fields, I never earned enough to put money away.
Anyway, thanks for listening. I wish I could be less irritable and have less trouble staying concentrated and focused. My sober self is kind of an unknown person to me. I don't know him that well, so not sure how to deal with him!
After a few relapses I am back on the wagon again. Trying to keep busy and recently started my own business.
I'm 28. After an unsustainable career abroad, I took the big and sour step of moving back home with my parents (!). They have a big house so I can get my business on the feet here. (That has been their suggestion for years now).
Good news: the terrible anxiety attacks I used to get, that made my life HELL, are gone! Yay for sobriety!
The bad news: I am highly irritable. Especially my parents get on me nerves. They bombard me with suggestions with regard to my life and my business, suggestions that are awesome in their out-of touch way of thinking. They make me want to just shut my door and sleep. How do I make them shut up?
Also, I'm gay. They know it - but pretend it's a "condition" that is going to "go away" or "get better". I think especially my dad thinks I will turn straight now that I am sober.
The truth of the matter is that I don't have the choice of moving elsewhere right now. I chose to work in an enormously competetive field. I've been abroad for years getting the work experience I need for finally doing my thing with my own business. However, as in many creative fields, I never earned enough to put money away.
Anyway, thanks for listening. I wish I could be less irritable and have less trouble staying concentrated and focused. My sober self is kind of an unknown person to me. I don't know him that well, so not sure how to deal with him!
Memberado
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Europe
Posts: 287
OK BTW I didn't mean to be asking advice on how to make people shut up. I am mostly interested in other quite recently sober people's take on how to combat irritability and lack of focus!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Northern CA
Posts: 1,733
Have you tried reading pages 86-87 of the Big Book in the morning? I find it very helpful in starting the day mindful of what I will do and to not get frantic and rush around. It also keeps me mindful of how I am going to react to others instead of how I can change them. Because that's just not going to happen and it's a waste of my energy.
A reading suggestion that is not AA/NA related: Irregular People by Joyce Heatherley. A time and true book on how to cope with people you must have in your life but who make you crazy (or crazier!). Check it out if interested.
http://www.amazon.com/Irregular-Peop.../dp/0929488008
A reading suggestion that is not AA/NA related: Irregular People by Joyce Heatherley. A time and true book on how to cope with people you must have in your life but who make you crazy (or crazier!). Check it out if interested.
http://www.amazon.com/Irregular-Peop.../dp/0929488008
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 156
I'm currently riding a wave of even-feelings, but a couple of weeks ago everything was sour. The feelings lasted for almost a week.
What has changed? I stopped watching so much Netflix and joined a yoga studio. Can't say for sure if that helped, but for how many ailments does your doctor recommend "diet and exercise?". Must be a reason behind that.
What has changed? I stopped watching so much Netflix and joined a yoga studio. Can't say for sure if that helped, but for how many ailments does your doctor recommend "diet and exercise?". Must be a reason behind that.
Memberado
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Europe
Posts: 287
Originally Posted by unentschieden 
I'm currently riding a wave of even-feelings, but a couple of weeks ago everything was sour. The feelings lasted for almost a week.
What has changed? I stopped watching so much Netflix and joined a yoga studio. Can't say for sure if that helped, but for how many ailments does your doctor recommend "diet and exercise?". Must be a reason behind that.
What has changed? I stopped watching so much Netflix and joined a yoga studio. Can't say for sure if that helped, but for how many ailments does your doctor recommend "diet and exercise?". Must be a reason behind that.
All my life I have hated physical exercise and have been lucky enough to be naturally skinny... until I really hit the booze last year. I think I too will try and start my mornings with some exercise. Thanks for reminding me!
Memberado
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Europe
Posts: 287
Originally Posted by bostonluv
Have you tried reading pages 86-87 of the Big Book in the morning? I find it very helpful in starting the day mindful of what I will do and to not get frantic and rush around. It also keeps me mindful of how I am going to react to others instead of how I can change them. Because that's just not going to happen and it's a waste of my energy.
A reading suggestion that is not AA/NA related: Irregular People by Joyce Heatherley. A time and true book on how to cope with people you must have in your life but who make you crazy (or crazier!). Check it out if interested.
A reading suggestion that is not AA/NA related: Irregular People by Joyce Heatherley. A time and true book on how to cope with people you must have in your life but who make you crazy (or crazier!). Check it out if interested.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,504
I'm really glad that you have the opportunity to stay with your parents while you get your business of the ground. It might annoy you to say this, but there is something to be learned from any and every experience in life, and in this case, you might be challenged to learn patience and gratitude. It might also help if you can set up some boundaries to take care of yourself. For example, you may not want to talk about being gay with your parents at all, and I think it's fine to tell them that.
Good luck with your business and your sobriety.
Good luck with your business and your sobriety.
Memberado
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Europe
Posts: 287
Originally Posted by Anna
I'm really glad that you have the opportunity to stay with your parents while you get your business of the ground. It might annoy you to say this, but there is something to be learned from any and every experience in life, and in this case, you might be challenged to learn patience and gratitude. It might also help if you can set up some boundaries to take care of yourself. For example, you may not want to talk about being gay with your parents at all, and I think it's fine to tell them that.
Good luck with your business and your sobriety.
Good luck with your business and your sobriety.
Many thanks for your thoughtful response! I know that you are right in all of the above.
I guess what heightens my irritability is that I can't really just turn a deaf ear when my parents get going. I work in fashion and especially my dad, who knows nothing at all about my field (but likes to think he does!) pretty much wakes me up every morning with a WOOOONDERFUL new suggestion of some celebrity I should dress or a financer I should contact etc. I can tell my dad's feelings are hurt if I just say "nah" and walk away, so I listen and make an effort to find his ideas good. I am just living a life that is very different from that of my parents' and they are out of touch with my reality.
You are right, this is a good way to learn patience and thankfulness.
About the gay issue. We already don't speak about it with my parents. After years of knowing they pretend it doesn't exist and I was not allowed to invite my then boyfriend for the holidays as my sisters are allowed to with their boyfriends.
I have shut down a part of myself because of all of this and I will work hard on getting on my feet myself, trying not to get too resentful about life's inequalities while getting there...
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
