How do you learn to live a life without alcohol?
stepping on my way...
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 1,079
How do you learn to live a life without alcohol?
Hi all. Just kinda thinking out loud here and any advice will be greatly appreciated 
How do you learn to live a life without alcohol?
For seven years alcohol is all my life revolved around. I had no hobbies, friends, groups I belonged to, relationships etc. the only thing that mattered to me was alcohol. It is like I really don't even know myself without alcohol. I do not know how to pass the time.
I am doing the obvious things to keep myself busy. I have a ton going on now so that is not hard. I keep having these thoughts like "I should be doing this" "I am missing out on this" "am I doing the right thing" like.... why do I feel like I have to read an entire book in one sitting, get every piece of grocery item I will need for weeks, make my apt spot spotless etc.
I guess what I am trying to say is why cant i just chill out lol. Enjoy the moment, take it in. Stop to smell the roses per say???? I kinda feel like my time is limited, i dont know how to explain ugh
I dunno maybe it is the anxiety that comes with early recovery.
Maybe I will learn to chill out when I get stronger in my sobriety.
I want to live a sober life and am excited to be starting one!
Like where did you guys start?
How long did it take yall to start living (like really living) without booze?
Did you feel like you were on fast forward at first.
Does it slow down?
thanks
How do you learn to live a life without alcohol?
For seven years alcohol is all my life revolved around. I had no hobbies, friends, groups I belonged to, relationships etc. the only thing that mattered to me was alcohol. It is like I really don't even know myself without alcohol. I do not know how to pass the time.
I am doing the obvious things to keep myself busy. I have a ton going on now so that is not hard. I keep having these thoughts like "I should be doing this" "I am missing out on this" "am I doing the right thing" like.... why do I feel like I have to read an entire book in one sitting, get every piece of grocery item I will need for weeks, make my apt spot spotless etc.
I guess what I am trying to say is why cant i just chill out lol. Enjoy the moment, take it in. Stop to smell the roses per say???? I kinda feel like my time is limited, i dont know how to explain ugh
I dunno maybe it is the anxiety that comes with early recovery.
Maybe I will learn to chill out when I get stronger in my sobriety.
I want to live a sober life and am excited to be starting one!
Like where did you guys start?
How long did it take yall to start living (like really living) without booze?
Did you feel like you were on fast forward at first.
Does it slow down?
thanks
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
It will come with time...You have to take a look at what you have been feeding your body and your mind for a long while....A lot longer for me. You snatch that away and you have to adjust....Just keep doing what you are doing. Give it some time...Try and relax now and then.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,476
I was absolutely lost and alone, having dropped out of activities and stopped seeing friends. That's the nature of the disease, because the more you drink, the more you feel cut off from real life. I was tentative at first but fairly quickly was able to get into a routine of doing small things that I enjoyed. And, I do think that balance is so important, so stopping to smell the roses is a great idea.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,760
my recovery road got smoother at around three months, coincidentally that was when i started to practice gratitude.
yes, it will 'slow down' and you'll feel more normal. take good care of yourself; eat well, exercise, and get enough rest, and with time it will even out.
doing things without alcohol soon becomes natural. just stay sober and you'll see.:
yes, it will 'slow down' and you'll feel more normal. take good care of yourself; eat well, exercise, and get enough rest, and with time it will even out.
doing things without alcohol soon becomes natural. just stay sober and you'll see.:
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,384
I had no idea either - I'd drunk for 20 years, been stoned for another 10, and I'd been an all day everyday drinker for 5 or so years before I quit.
You hear a lot about one day at a time - but thats how I lived my life in the beginning...I made a commitment every day to stay sober, and I just lived my life...gradually old life skills came back and I developed new ones....
It was kinda like learning to walk again...but a lot quicker a learning curve than when I was a toddler - we catch on fast
You're not alone with this stepping - you can do it...there's a ton of support here
D
You hear a lot about one day at a time - but thats how I lived my life in the beginning...I made a commitment every day to stay sober, and I just lived my life...gradually old life skills came back and I developed new ones....
It was kinda like learning to walk again...but a lot quicker a learning curve than when I was a toddler - we catch on fast
You're not alone with this stepping - you can do it...there's a ton of support here
D
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,537
I agree with Least, stepping. At around 3 mos. things improved for me greatly. However, I did go through many phases - and still continue to change at 4 years sober. I drank all my life, and didn't know how to make a move without it. I honestly felt like someone had dropped me onto Earth from a spaceship. I was walking around in a daze, trying to understand everything. We have a warped sense of reality when we numb ourselves constantly - thank goodness that's over for us.
Glad you asked. It's different for everyone - for some it's all wonderful right out of the gate. Others wonder why they don't feel much better. After all the years of abusing our poor bodies we need time to heal. You're doing great!
Glad you asked. It's different for everyone - for some it's all wonderful right out of the gate. Others wonder why they don't feel much better. After all the years of abusing our poor bodies we need time to heal. You're doing great!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Newburgh
Posts: 868
Hey there stepping. Toss some of that energy of yours my way. I'm just the opposite. I don't have any energy at times. It's getting better though.
I guess our bodies all react differently once we remove the alcohol and drugs. I'm at 52 days sober, so I'm not surprised I'm not back to normal. Probably won't be for some time.
I have to take things in small increments. Don't want to overwhelm myself too much, especially early on.
You're doing an awesome job
I guess our bodies all react differently once we remove the alcohol and drugs. I'm at 52 days sober, so I'm not surprised I'm not back to normal. Probably won't be for some time.
I have to take things in small increments. Don't want to overwhelm myself too much, especially early on.
You're doing an awesome job
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: NC
Posts: 1,737
Stepping,
How do you learn to live a life without alcohol?
First and foremost - don't drink. That sounds like a stupid answer, but regardless what way you "do" sobriety (AA, SMART AVRT, church group, or just gritting your teeth) - if you pick up, you'll very quickly end up where you left off.
It sounds like you are past the initial physical withdrawal (which can be dangerous as hell - I went through detox and am grateful I did, I know of a couple of people who had horrendous health consequences trying to quit without medical help - see a Dr if you haven't already.
I recommend that you learn about your addiction and what your body is going through - what you are experiencing is normal for early sobriety. One book that was worth its weight in gold to me was: Under the Influence by a guy named Milam. Get it and read it - you will be glad you did.
This was my experience:
Anxiety, poor sleep, mood swings, etc. are all very common. They will continue to fade over time, but it does take a few months before they are pretty much over. Don't freak out if you having drinking dreams from time to time.
Find others who are on the same journey - I found mine at AA, but there are other options; do your research here on SR to find which appeal most and get involved. The first word of the first of the 12 steps is WE for a reason. Together we can accomplish what was impossible on our own.
This is a marathon, not a sprint - don't despair if some days (hell, some weeks) feel like this is impossible. Just DONT DRINK - and it will pass. Most of the cravings I had never lasted more than 20-30 minutes, and those will fade over time as well.
Step - when I quit drinking I really didn't expect much other than to not feel (and look) like crap every morning. I believed that I would spend the rest of my days gritting my teeth wanting to drink when times got tough, but knowing that to do so would be suicide. My last drink was in Dec 2009 - and I am happy to say that sobriety is so much more than what I feared. Life is not just getting from one day to the next, I now have peace.
Keep it up Step - you won't regret it!
How do you learn to live a life without alcohol?
First and foremost - don't drink. That sounds like a stupid answer, but regardless what way you "do" sobriety (AA, SMART AVRT, church group, or just gritting your teeth) - if you pick up, you'll very quickly end up where you left off.
I dunno maybe it is the anxiety that comes with early recovery.
Maybe I will learn to chill out when I get stronger in my sobriety.
I want to live a sober life and am excited to be starting one!
Like where did you guys start?
How long did it take yall to start living (like really living) without booze?
Did you feel like you were on fast forward at first.
Does it slow down?
Maybe I will learn to chill out when I get stronger in my sobriety.
I want to live a sober life and am excited to be starting one!
Like where did you guys start?
How long did it take yall to start living (like really living) without booze?
Did you feel like you were on fast forward at first.
Does it slow down?
It sounds like you are past the initial physical withdrawal (which can be dangerous as hell - I went through detox and am grateful I did, I know of a couple of people who had horrendous health consequences trying to quit without medical help - see a Dr if you haven't already.
I recommend that you learn about your addiction and what your body is going through - what you are experiencing is normal for early sobriety. One book that was worth its weight in gold to me was: Under the Influence by a guy named Milam. Get it and read it - you will be glad you did.
This was my experience:
Anxiety, poor sleep, mood swings, etc. are all very common. They will continue to fade over time, but it does take a few months before they are pretty much over. Don't freak out if you having drinking dreams from time to time.
Find others who are on the same journey - I found mine at AA, but there are other options; do your research here on SR to find which appeal most and get involved. The first word of the first of the 12 steps is WE for a reason. Together we can accomplish what was impossible on our own.
This is a marathon, not a sprint - don't despair if some days (hell, some weeks) feel like this is impossible. Just DONT DRINK - and it will pass. Most of the cravings I had never lasted more than 20-30 minutes, and those will fade over time as well.
Step - when I quit drinking I really didn't expect much other than to not feel (and look) like crap every morning. I believed that I would spend the rest of my days gritting my teeth wanting to drink when times got tough, but knowing that to do so would be suicide. My last drink was in Dec 2009 - and I am happy to say that sobriety is so much more than what I feared. Life is not just getting from one day to the next, I now have peace.
Keep it up Step - you won't regret it!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 10
I always remember the days before I became an alcoholic and how I use to live. If I did it 5 years ago then I can do it now. The alcohol has become a part of our lives so the only way to take it out is to never drink it again.
stepping on my way...
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 1,079
Wow! Thank you for the responses! Great ideas!
Adjustment from alcohol every day/night to recovery/sobriety will take awhile! But what do I have to lose....Oh, yeah the drunk miserable life.
I am just simply NOT GOING TO DRINK! I am such a control freak and here lately have felt so out of control! Drinking is the ONLY life I know! It's true I am learning a new life. One I have always dreamed of BUT never thought I would get the strength to have! Now it's within arms reach It starts with ME! I have to believe sobriety gets better, the alternative (drinking) just kept getting worse!
Thanks you again so much for the kind words. I wrote a lot of the above down in my journal. Your advice/motivation/praise etc etc mean tons to me!
Adjustment from alcohol every day/night to recovery/sobriety will take awhile! But what do I have to lose....Oh, yeah the drunk miserable life.
I am just simply NOT GOING TO DRINK! I am such a control freak and here lately have felt so out of control! Drinking is the ONLY life I know! It's true I am learning a new life. One I have always dreamed of BUT never thought I would get the strength to have! Now it's within arms reach It starts with ME! I have to believe sobriety gets better, the alternative (drinking) just kept getting worse!Thanks you again so much for the kind words. I wrote a lot of the above down in my journal. Your advice/motivation/praise etc etc mean tons to me!
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
I get the limited time, "I have to do it faster, better" thing...... it's a part of my personality. It could have been one reason drinking worked so well for me in the beginning, to turn my head off. Of course, that didn't really solve the problem - it just made everything worse.
In the early days of being sober, I had to deliberately put things aside and take time just to "be." I had to constantly remind myself to take things one day at a time.
Focusing on the present moment really helps (you may want to read "The Power of Now"). It takes practice and I'm still not great at it, but even the little bit of progress I've made has given me more peace. When you're not thinking about the past or the future, the mind becomes quiet and you're just experiencing/doing. (It feels like being in the "zone", like when you're working on a project, or playing sports or music, and you're not thinking at all - there's a kind of joy/contentment).
Didn't mean to get off on a tangent (!) and something like this might not be the answer for you, but I do believe that as long as we stay sober, we're able to see things, ask questions and find solutions. So stay positive - it's all good!
In the early days of being sober, I had to deliberately put things aside and take time just to "be." I had to constantly remind myself to take things one day at a time.
Focusing on the present moment really helps (you may want to read "The Power of Now"). It takes practice and I'm still not great at it, but even the little bit of progress I've made has given me more peace. When you're not thinking about the past or the future, the mind becomes quiet and you're just experiencing/doing. (It feels like being in the "zone", like when you're working on a project, or playing sports or music, and you're not thinking at all - there's a kind of joy/contentment).
Didn't mean to get off on a tangent (!) and something like this might not be the answer for you, but I do believe that as long as we stay sober, we're able to see things, ask questions and find solutions. So stay positive - it's all good!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 5,285
My advice would be gentle with yourself. Don't expect it to all happen at once. Let yourself rest and heal and relearn how to live.
I was pretty ecstatic right out the gate, so happy to be free at last, and I wanted to reuse my life asap....my body had other and and I was sick almost nonstop from one bug or another for the first 6 months. Obviously my body had other ideas. I haven't been sick in the past year so it got better at 6 months
I was pretty ecstatic right out the gate, so happy to be free at last, and I wanted to reuse my life asap....my body had other and and I was sick almost nonstop from one bug or another for the first 6 months. Obviously my body had other ideas. I haven't been sick in the past year so it got better at 6 months
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 1,028
It's taking me a long time to adjust, I won't lie. I've been sober the majority of the last 8 months and I just had nightmares about being in a blackout from drinking last night. I also have a hard time dealing with going out to dinner. I tend to glamorize wine and a meal. The only issue is I'd have a whole bottle or maybe two....
I've read some great books, gone to meetings and met new sober friends and I've worked really hard to change my thinking. I still don't know specifically what I like or who I am long term being sober. At this point I view this as being on a journey. So far most changes have been good but some I'm still really struggling with.
I just keep going, not much more I can do unless I want to die.
Hang in there and listen to the wise people here.
I've read some great books, gone to meetings and met new sober friends and I've worked really hard to change my thinking. I still don't know specifically what I like or who I am long term being sober. At this point I view this as being on a journey. So far most changes have been good but some I'm still really struggling with.
I just keep going, not much more I can do unless I want to die.
Hang in there and listen to the wise people here.
stepping on my way...
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 1,079
Thanks guys! All of your words are going to be read daily by me for inspiration. I can do this & with your help it makes it easier to deal with.
I did a lot today instead of drink. It's getting easier....every day will get better. I will only have to go through this ONCE!
I did a lot today instead of drink. It's getting easier....every day will get better. I will only have to go through this ONCE!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Originally Posted by stepping 
I will only have to go through this ONCE!
The thing about this program is that it not only shows you how to stop drinking for good....It shows you how to start living...The way you should be living. Who could ever ask for anything more than that?
You know what the alternative is...Misery..Isolation...Helplessness...All that good stuff. Why close your mind to even trying it? If it doesn't work..Try something else. I'll never meet you...Will never know you...I don't get anything from AA for saying this....It's a free program. I guess I just tell you this because....You only have to go through this once. Whatever journey you take...I only hope it doesn't include alcohol....And you are happy.
Guest
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 609
It's part of this disease. I look back now and wonder how I could've lived a life that revolved exclusively around alcohol. But like most other people, I struggled with the whole sobriety concept in the beginning.
It does take time, I think it's in part an organic process of recovery, but having some help and support available is definitely an aid.
It does take time, I think it's in part an organic process of recovery, but having some help and support available is definitely an aid.
Grateful to be free
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Arizona
Posts: 3,680
How do we learn to live without alcohol/drugs?
In my experience, trial and error.
I get lots of good ideas here, but I have to try them in my life and see if they work. Sometimes I want to just dismiss them as "not for me", but if it's within reason, I might still benefit from giving it a shot.
In my experience, trial and error.
I get lots of good ideas here, but I have to try them in my life and see if they work. Sometimes I want to just dismiss them as "not for me", but if it's within reason, I might still benefit from giving it a shot.
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