1 year, or NOT (man oh man, this should be LOTS of responses)
1000 Post Club
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Midwest USA
Posts: 2,284
I would go to his anniversary meeting & confront him. Bring him a drug test & when it shows positive for marijuana show it to his home group. Marijuana is a dangerous drug that destroys lives just as much as booze or "hard drugs".
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: london
Posts: 52
you can,t get drunk smoking marijuana! so your friend is sober. a saint maybe not! but sober yes. marijuana can act as a gateway drug to his drinking so probably not the best idea but we all have choice alcoholic or not
LIVING SOBER
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Cent MD
Posts: 104
Food for thought/take it or leave it
Sobriety is the condition of not having any measurable levels, or effects from, alcohol or other drugs that alter ones mood or behaviors.
According to WHO "Lexicon of alcohol and drug terms..." sobriety is continued abstinence from alcohol and psychoactive drug use.
Sobriety is the condition of not having any measurable levels, or effects from, alcohol or other drugs that alter ones mood or behaviors.
According to WHO "Lexicon of alcohol and drug terms..." sobriety is continued abstinence from alcohol and psychoactive drug use.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: london
Posts: 52
Originally Posted by KellyToronto 
I have a good friend in AA.
On April 19, he will have 1 year of sobriety - yay!
But, he smoked marijuana twice at Christmas time.
A mutual AA friend of ours told me that she believes "he is not sober", "he relapsed", he does not deserve a 1 year medallion in AA on April 19.
My question is: Since marijuana is NOT alcohol (obviously!), has he in fact stayed sober, in terms of AA, and does he still deserve to get his AA 1 year medallion on April 19.
Thanks for your comments,
Kelly
On April 19, he will have 1 year of sobriety - yay!
But, he smoked marijuana twice at Christmas time.
A mutual AA friend of ours told me that she believes "he is not sober", "he relapsed", he does not deserve a 1 year medallion in AA on April 19.
My question is: Since marijuana is NOT alcohol (obviously!), has he in fact stayed sober, in terms of AA, and does he still deserve to get his AA 1 year medallion on April 19.
Thanks for your comments,
Kelly
Alcoholics Anonymous
Argonaut
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Netherlands
Posts: 479
I agree with Stryfe. Nicotin, caffeine and many prescription drugs are also psychoactive substances.
If we would apply this definition: "Sobriety is the condition of not having any measurable levels, or effects from, alcohol or other drugs that alter ones mood or behaviors." - all smokers, coffee drinkers and prescription drug users can not be considered sober. That would mean that only the people that don't drink coffee, don't smoke and don't take any drugs at all are totally sober.
If we would apply this definition: "Sobriety is the condition of not having any measurable levels, or effects from, alcohol or other drugs that alter ones mood or behaviors." - all smokers, coffee drinkers and prescription drug users can not be considered sober. That would mean that only the people that don't drink coffee, don't smoke and don't take any drugs at all are totally sober.
Grateful to be free
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Arizona
Posts: 3,680
If we choose to put ourselves under the guidance of a particular recovery plan, and then cheat. The only person we are cheating is ourself.
People, as individuals, find different benchmarks meaningful.
AA has it's particular definition of sobriety, and a system of recognition for various time periods. It is also a self governing system in that people are trusted to be honest about their time, because their honesty is what helps them work their program. They don't get and stay sober because other people force them to, they stay sober because they honestly apply themselves. I don't recall AA having henchmen who's task it is to make sure people are being honest. It's still an anonymous program and calling someone out, in a meeting on their sobriety or sober time seems to violate that anonymity.
In my experience the recognition aspect of the programs effects participants differently. Some people benefit from the hugs, applause, birthday parties, etc. Some never count clean time or pick up a chip. Others go quietly after meeting and ask the secretary for their chip, or purchase them on their own. When I told a few NA friends that I didn't intend to go up for my 60 day keytag, I was chided as being selfish for not showing to the newcomers that we do recover.
The conclusion I drew for myself was that in the end it's best for me to focus on MY recovery, My program and MY understanding of what sobriety was in my life (multiple addictions). Paying attention to what everyone else was doing made me lose focus on my own program.
People, as individuals, find different benchmarks meaningful.
AA has it's particular definition of sobriety, and a system of recognition for various time periods. It is also a self governing system in that people are trusted to be honest about their time, because their honesty is what helps them work their program. They don't get and stay sober because other people force them to, they stay sober because they honestly apply themselves. I don't recall AA having henchmen who's task it is to make sure people are being honest. It's still an anonymous program and calling someone out, in a meeting on their sobriety or sober time seems to violate that anonymity.
In my experience the recognition aspect of the programs effects participants differently. Some people benefit from the hugs, applause, birthday parties, etc. Some never count clean time or pick up a chip. Others go quietly after meeting and ask the secretary for their chip, or purchase them on their own. When I told a few NA friends that I didn't intend to go up for my 60 day keytag, I was chided as being selfish for not showing to the newcomers that we do recover.
The conclusion I drew for myself was that in the end it's best for me to focus on MY recovery, My program and MY understanding of what sobriety was in my life (multiple addictions). Paying attention to what everyone else was doing made me lose focus on my own program.
Member of SMART Recovery
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,722
People define their commitment to abstinence in different ways. Some people define it in relation to a particular substance and view others as ok, while others declare a commitment to abstain from all addictive substances (although often even these people make exceptions for things like tobacco and coffee--and even Bill W., the co-founder of AA, used LSD).
So it seems to me that your friend is sober if he has met his own commitment, and that it's not the role of anyone else to say if he "deserves" a one-year chip.
So it seems to me that your friend is sober if he has met his own commitment, and that it's not the role of anyone else to say if he "deserves" a one-year chip.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Midwest
Posts: 343
Originally Posted by Justfor1
I would go to his anniversary meeting & confront him. Bring him a drug test & when it shows positive for marijuana show it to his home group. Marijuana is a dangerous drug that destroys lives just as much as booze or "hard drugs".
Guest
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Ontario Canada
Posts: 189
I'm fairly new at this as well myself. Hey Kelly!!! It's me! lol 
Well I'm sure it's not for you to say whether he deserves his 1 year or not. Hard to say though because even my sponsor said to me addiction is addiction. If you take things that alter your mind even if it's just for a social happening as in not expected it still alters your brain. But as I said it's not for us to say whether he can or cannot have his medallion. If he has a sponsor then I suggest he speak to them about this matter IF it bothers him. I wouldn't go up to him saying he doesn't deserve it because that may hurt his feelings but at least if you do say something it'll express your concern like a true friend. by the way not to be in the limelight here but today is my 5th month of being sober and I haven't had any cravings whatsoever. It's great and amazing as I've told you in our messages passed back and fourth. And I wish for the girl I'm seeing to never see that ugly side of me. Anyways this isn't about me. So in the end no one here can really make you do this or that. It's your program, do what you feel is right. I know someone struggling with his recovery right now but I let him live his life and I live mine, live and let live. I don't go telling on him, if he wants the help he'll ask for it when he's ready again. Good luck making your decision 
Well I'm sure it's not for you to say whether he deserves his 1 year or not. Hard to say though because even my sponsor said to me addiction is addiction. If you take things that alter your mind even if it's just for a social happening as in not expected it still alters your brain. But as I said it's not for us to say whether he can or cannot have his medallion. If he has a sponsor then I suggest he speak to them about this matter IF it bothers him. I wouldn't go up to him saying he doesn't deserve it because that may hurt his feelings but at least if you do say something it'll express your concern like a true friend. by the way not to be in the limelight here but today is my 5th month of being sober and I haven't had any cravings whatsoever. It's great and amazing as I've told you in our messages passed back and fourth. And I wish for the girl I'm seeing to never see that ugly side of me. Anyways this isn't about me. So in the end no one here can really make you do this or that. It's your program, do what you feel is right. I know someone struggling with his recovery right now but I let him live his life and I live mine, live and let live. I don't go telling on him, if he wants the help he'll ask for it when he's ready again. Good luck making your decision Member of SMART Recovery
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,722
Originally Posted by flamingredhair
I mean no disrespect but I don't believe it's any AA member's - or any addict in general's job to police another.
And then helpful, even lifesaving, psych meds can get condemned. (Ever seen I bipolar person go off their meds because they were told they "weren't really sober" if they took them? I have, and it ain't something I ever want to see again.)
Eventually it gets to the point where people start accusing each other of not being "emotionally sober".
Nope, better to stay away from policing the sobriety of others.
"To Thine OWN SELF be true."
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 6
For me, I would not collect a coin because MY program says I need to stay away from all drugs. But the man smoked pot, he didn't drink. I would tell him how you feel personally because the program is about honesty. But I would not intrude on his decision to take a coin. I do want to add this... If he were taking a prescription Pain Medication or Anxiety Medication would his sobriety then be in question? Hmmmm....
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Midwest
Posts: 343
Originally Posted by onlythetruth
No...and one the policing starts, it's a very slippery slope. All sorts of things can get tossed into the "not really sober" pot. First the illegal drugs go in, then prescription painkillers, then nicotine, then caffeine....
And then helpful, even lifesaving, psych meds can get condemned. (Ever seen I bipolar person go off their meds because they were told they "weren't really sober" if they took them? I have, and it ain't something I ever want to see again.)
Eventually it gets to the point where people start accusing each other of not being "emotionally sober".
Nope, better to stay away from policing the sobriety of others.
"To Thine OWN SELF be true."
And then helpful, even lifesaving, psych meds can get condemned. (Ever seen I bipolar person go off their meds because they were told they "weren't really sober" if they took them? I have, and it ain't something I ever want to see again.)
Eventually it gets to the point where people start accusing each other of not being "emotionally sober".
Nope, better to stay away from policing the sobriety of others.
"To Thine OWN SELF be true."
This line of thought could seriously endanger a person's recovery efforts.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 120
Dr. Silkworth's opinion in the preface of the AA Big Book primarily focuses on the nature/addiction of alcoholism, however as doctor and chief physician at a nationally prominent hospital specializing in BOTH alcohol AND drug addiction (BB, xxv), I think, personally, I'll follow Silkworth's suggestion (BB, xxx) "the only relief we have to suggest is ENTIRE abstinence." Could the phenomenon of craving happen only from alcohol (to alcoholics) and (for these same people) not from other drugs (i.e. pot, painkillers, etc)? Anything's possible.
My pot, chocolate, caffeine, nicotine, pain pill use/abuse/addiction(s) absolutely affect(ed) how emotionally/relationally "present" I was/am in the lives of others. Call it a detached stoned presence, hypoglycemia, a jittery, dominant conversation or an all day sleeper are/were the results. If I ever feel like the mind/mood altering substance I'm using adds something (I can't spiritually/physically obtain sober), I must question my motives.
My pot, chocolate, caffeine, nicotine, pain pill use/abuse/addiction(s) absolutely affect(ed) how emotionally/relationally "present" I was/am in the lives of others. Call it a detached stoned presence, hypoglycemia, a jittery, dominant conversation or an all day sleeper are/were the results. If I ever feel like the mind/mood altering substance I'm using adds something (I can't spiritually/physically obtain sober), I must question my motives.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Newburgh
Posts: 868
Good post bluoval. To me, anything I take that affects my ability to interact with my family and others, affects my job performance, affects my ability to move around safely in society(drive a car, etc), and just function as a responsible human being should be questioned.
God bless.
God bless.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Newburgh
Posts: 868
Good post bluoval. To me, anything I take that affects my ability to interact with my family and others, affects my job performance, affects my ability to move around safely in society(drive a car, etc), and just function as a responsible human being should be questioned.
God bless.
God bless.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,288
I know for many those little coins of achievement mean a lot, but it's kind of all crap to me. Staying sober is a lifetime progress. It involves a lot of stuff that goes on in our life other than alcohol and drugs. I could care less if someone gives me some plastic little coin for being a good girl for a year.
Ok, I'm on a diet, and I just enjoyed a super duper ice cream cone! Screw it! I feel better now.
I'm not saying it's the same as taking up drinking/drugging again, but life comes in many roads we have to take and come out decently happy and functional.
Ok, I'm on a diet, and I just enjoyed a super duper ice cream cone! Screw it! I feel better now.
I'm not saying it's the same as taking up drinking/drugging again, but life comes in many roads we have to take and come out decently happy and functional.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 587
my opinion: his addiction is alcohol. If you all are about not using mind altering substances at all, what about caffeine in coffee and sugar in cakes. What about if somebody eats chocolate bars. They alter their mind too..... I think most of us here would not have 1 week without any mind altering substance.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: my room in ct.
Posts: 58,110
i got'a say this....
as the question was asked about A.A.
as those dopey coins and chips are for a reason.
it's really for the newcomer and those that still struggle to show that the program of recovery works.
not filling the mind of the ego driven alk'y.
that some example of how it works!
HOW
i would love to be a newb coming in and see some guy who smokes crack get a yearly coin.
hell breathing too much can alter one's mind,
semamtics, your killing me with sematics
and i have a sponcee that smokes weed once in awhile for cancer pain,
the patches and morphine were making him crazed!
he got his one year coin, as motives were in check!
it's all about motives in to thine own self be true.
if no one calls these people out, what would A.A. be like.
rant off,
carry on
as the question was asked about A.A.
as those dopey coins and chips are for a reason.
it's really for the newcomer and those that still struggle to show that the program of recovery works.
not filling the mind of the ego driven alk'y.
that some example of how it works!
HOW
i would love to be a newb coming in and see some guy who smokes crack get a yearly coin.
hell breathing too much can alter one's mind,
semamtics, your killing me with sematics
and i have a sponcee that smokes weed once in awhile for cancer pain,
the patches and morphine were making him crazed!
he got his one year coin, as motives were in check!
it's all about motives in to thine own self be true.
if no one calls these people out, what would A.A. be like.
rant off,
carry on
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