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A Very Dark day but there is light..

Old 03-13-2012, 04:08 AM
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Congratulations on 60 days!

When I quit drinking one of the benefits was that I was available to drive if an emergency came up. At the time I had teenage daughter's who were just getting involved with the social scene away from home.

I shudder to think what might have happened if one night my daughter had called an asked me to come get her because she wasn't in a safe place and was scared.
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Old 03-13-2012, 04:23 AM
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I am glad that you saw the light! My father used to drink himself into an oblivion, one time when I was in the 4 th grade he left me at swim practice waiting for him for two hrs, and it was late in the evening. Lord knows why I picked up his drinking habits after what I went through. He eventually chose drinking over the family, now he sits by himself in his house, ALONE... and drinks every night. My mother is happily re-married, and I am two weeks and some change sober, I don't want to end up like him (female version). Just stick with it, your daughter needs you. I know from experience
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Old 04-20-2012, 03:02 PM
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Oh well it's me again one hour 20 minutes and it will be 100 days gulp. Please firstly how does one do a paragraph gap on an iPad,driving me insane. Seems a long time ago since that lonely walk back from the hospital at 5 am on a cold January morning. I promised myself I would never ever drink again and a 100 days later it means more than anything that I will not drink again, I am never going back to that life of hiding , planning and the relentless obsession with alcohol. When I think back to the last 30 years of my life its marred with hundreds of occasions of me being drunk, upsetting people, fights, puking, getting arrested, losing things and hundreds of days hungover and feeling totally incapable of doing anything, in fact every single social occasion has been just a drinkfest. But the real more insidious problem began about 10 years ago when I started drinking alone at home, staying up late till 2/3am drinking wine and still not feeling satisfied , telling the mrs I was popping out to car to get something but making a mad dash down to the shop to get more wine and then trying to sneak it back into the house, then finding ways to get rid of the emptys FFs the list is endless and sad. Today at 100 days life is a form of simplicity and I am growing to love it, it's all new to me and I feel like I have been liberated from a very dark place. I have had some real tough days and days of cravings and fighting my av, I am getting better at this, plus my mood swings have been pretty epic as well happy sad ,sad sad happy lol . I have been out on about five social occasions the first four was zero problems, being surrounded by drinkers I just drank diet coke no one really notices unless you make an issue over it, but the only thing is I cannot spend as long as before because after a few hours they can get a bit boring,but it's real fun at times to look at drinkers getting drunk , it's kind of empowering. The last time out was not so good, I was at friends for dinner my wife has always been teetotal but my friend and his wife drink a lot of wine, before when I was getting tanked with them I would never notice how much we was drinking or who was drinking what, but that night they where knocking it back ASAP and I could see them changing from easy going people to touchy/ needy/ argumentive twats and I wanted out of there very quickly, think they both have drink probs as most people who drink regular do, but are in denial. Want to thank all you good people at SR, you and been inspirational to me , I am never ever going back no matter how bored or how cranky I get, being bored for afew days is a million times better than the other option. Thanks all, I will be back. Paragraphs please tell me how to on iPad ty ty
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Old 04-20-2012, 03:04 PM
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congrats on your 100 days DD

D
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Old 04-20-2012, 03:05 PM
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Fantastic job, DarkDays! Knew you could.
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Old 04-20-2012, 10:46 PM
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Can't help you with the iPad (sorry!), but wanted to say how much I enjoyed your update, and how much I related to all of it! Congratulations on 100 days!!
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Old 04-21-2012, 04:32 AM
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Thanks for sharing your journey with us!
Congrats guy! You are SOOOOO awesome!7
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Old 04-21-2012, 04:44 AM
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"I feel like I have been liberated from a very dark place."


This is so wonderful to read! time for new screen name? No more Dark Days!
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Old 04-21-2012, 04:46 AM
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Hi Dark Days -- thanks for such an inspiring thread, especially as our respective stories are so similar.

(p.s try pressing shift + return for your par breaks. I don't know this works, but it does on blogs/messageboards which use return to deliver the message.)
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Old 04-21-2012, 06:38 AM
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I also missed your original post DarkDays. Congratulations on your 30 days. If you are anything like me, you may hear that little voice inside your head telling you it's ok to drink again, that you have learned your lesson, etc, etc. Do not listen to it. That little voice is just a thought and it will fade in a few moments like all thoughts do. It is just a conditioned response to whatever may be happening around you, good or bad. It's a totally powerless voice unless you inject action into it. My experience is that alcohol cravings are as powerless as I am over that second drink. I sense taking the first drink is always a choice we make. Once the poison is introduced to our bodies, then that weird phenomenon unique to us alcoholics takes over our reason and all bets are off.

Hopefully you aren't having any cravings but if you do DO NOT GIVE IN. Staying sober is a lot easier than getting sober. Don't make the mistake I made.

Wishing you and your family all the best.

Natalie
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Old 04-21-2012, 01:56 PM
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Thanks to you all btw Natalie its a 100days now not 30
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Old 04-21-2012, 06:39 PM
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My classmate is awesome! Let's head to 200, DarkDays....if you will lead, I will follow!! 7
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Old 04-21-2012, 06:53 PM
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Somehow I missed the OP too...but just read through the entire thread. Wonderful!!! I am so happy for you DD and for your family.
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Old 04-22-2012, 07:30 PM
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Awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 06-10-2012, 12:04 PM
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Here again, now 150 days from that ghastly night in Hospital and that lonely soul destroying walk back, But I am sober !

Cannot lie day 100 to day 140 for me have been the hardest, last 10 days the cravings have eased of in a dramatic way, not to sure why but they have. I have made my plan I am never ever going back to alcohell, for all the downsides I have had the positives are far far greater . Romantic thoughts of drink are fading a little because I now think every thought through and ask myself questions like: Will it really change my life for the better tonight if I have a bottle of wine ? Will something magical happen to me ? How will I feel in the morning ? The major shift in thinking for me is that I now DO not care what people think of me not drinking, its my life I will live it. These people, do they know I have given 33 years of life to alcohell already ? If they think I am some kind of sandal wearing goody goody, that's there problem.

Never going back, onwards and upwards !
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Old 07-12-2012, 01:37 AM
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6 months since I walked home from the hospital and 6 months I have been sober.

Its Been hard, its been easy but most of all its the simplicity and the liberation from alcohell I LoVe !

Thank you SR.
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Old 07-12-2012, 02:32 AM
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Thank you for the inspiration Dark Days. Blessings to you and yours. I hope you have a programme as personally i have sworn off for life due to what I'd call despicable behaviour only to fall over several months later.

I'm only sober 12 days now but I know from the people who have the sobriety I want (joyous loving people not dry drunks) that they all share a common thread - A higher power, doing the steps, having a sponsor, having a home group, doing service.

Sending love your way. And again, thank you.
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Old 07-12-2012, 04:31 AM
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Congrats, my friend! 6 months & awesome eternity to go!
I'm proud to follow in your footsteps......
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Old 07-12-2012, 04:40 AM
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Wow, Dark....just read this thread and am so glad you're doing well and still checking in!
That's valuable inspiration and you should be so very proud of yourself.
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Old 07-12-2012, 05:31 AM
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Originally Posted by DarkDays View Post
6 months since I walked home from the hospital and 6 months I have been sober.

Its Been hard, its been easy but most of all its the simplicity and the liberation from alcohell I LoVe !

Thank you SR.
WHAT??? You just quit all by yourself? I was told on here yesterday that NOBODY can do that Good job and I will keep it going here as well.
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