Mammyof3boys

Hi everyone. Day 20. I have made it this far once before and did go back drinking. The last few days to not drink have been harder then the first week. So I'm a little discouraged. I really felt like I needed one yesterday it was very hard. Especially after worrying for my moms health. I still have not found another outlet.

WantToHeal

Congrats on your 20 days, that is a great accomplishment!

Regarding your cravings and your worry, have you consulted with your doctor? A therapist?

Sunny27

Well done on Day 20

For me, I know where that one drink will lead me .. to another and another and in my 20-year drinking history I have never been able to moderate so a drink is never ever going to be just a drink.

I've started reading a lot more and it has helped a lot.

Hope your mum recovers soon xx

desertsong

Day 14 here and I certainly know how you feel. I had a very bad night the other night and have not wanted a drink that badly since I quit. It's going to happen, but it will pass. We are learning how to do this thing called "life" without alcohol and it's a novelty. Like Sunny, when those moments come, I remember back to all of the humiliations and the hopelessness of my drinking career and it's much easier to stay away from that first drink. I've also been journaling at the suggestion of my sponsor. I was skeptical about whether that would be a useful tool for me, but I'm pleasantly surprised at how much it helps. I needed some kind of outlet for all of the feelings that have come up since I got sober, and journaling not only keeps my head busy for awhile so that I'm not thinking of drinking, but it also is an emotional relief to get all of my feelings out.

Prayers for you and for your mom. xx

Zebra1275

Congratulations on your 20 days.

I've discovered that to stay sober I needed to make changes in my attitudes and behaviors in order to maintain sobriety. The program of AA helped me to realize that and taught me methods I could use to change. Simply quitting drinking worked before, many times, but I always ended up eventually drinking when either life got rough, or I got complacent and forgot I was an alcoholic.

Are you trying to quit by yourself? It's possible, I once did it for over 5 years, but I've since found that face to face support makes it much easier.

Cob

Good Morning Mammy and congrats on day 20. I wish you well but more than that I wish you resolve. I vaguely remember day 20 but I do know on that day I hated drinking so much that the thought of it made me sick. My last drunk lasted about a month so by the time I made it to a recovery center I was cooked well done. Those first few days were just to nurse me back to health enough to be able to hold down some food. But back to day 20…I was getting prepared to be released the next day so it was somewhat of a going through the motions of the day. That night they did the ole “sing out” which entailed everyone that was at the place getting together and singing this song that basically just wished you good luck. You know; time did to seem to hang and not really move too fast back then. It’s strange how that when you look back at things with a much more clear mind we are able to have totally different thoughts about those times than when we were actually going through them. For example, as I think about that day I don’t have the knot in my stomach that I know existed when I was walking around the campus…so my thoughts are much more aligned towards good feelings when in actuality I’m pretty sure that my feelings at that time were not that great. If memory serves me correct I was excited that I was going to be going home but at the same time there was some apprehension, some worry about the temptations that lay ahead. I’m sure I was worrying about what my boss was going to say when I reported back to work. (Thank you Jesus that I’m not going through that today!!! ) I’ve got to tell you that reading your comments has really made me take a long look back, something I’ve not done for a while, and I appreciate your sharing. Day 20…wow, you’ve done great to have made it 20 days and I know that I know you can make it another because I did. I’m at 2 years and 5 days today and I honestly do not have any desire to want to pick up. I had no desire on day 20 either but since I was in a rehab the option to use wasn’t as readily available as it might be for you. Nevertheless, thank you for sharing…it made me be thankful for my day 20. Have a blessed day.

Cob

jocata

Good job Mammy!

I found weeks two and three pretty hard for me two. I was over the physical cravings, but my emotions were a mess. I'm on about day 48 and it has gotten much better.

Don't you dare give up!!

God bless.

DaveVelasco

Hi. It is a good accomplishment already that you are able to reach about 20 days without drinking - yet you said you felt like you needed one yesterday right? And that you cannot find an outlet about your worries.

Here is a good though and for you to ponder on:

Have you realize how bigger you are than a bottle of alcohol? You are way more bigger - more powerful than it right? Do that bottle of alcohol speaks to you? Are you able to solve problems when you drink? Guess what - the answer is NO.

You are still there and your mom did not recuperate. So, the fact you are bigger than the bottle and that it did not solve your problem even when you drank one only means a bottle of alcohol is NON-SENSE and nothing can it do for you. It can only control you and your mind ONCE you let it inside your body and mind.

The Lesson:
Do not be controlled by just a mere bottle of alcohol when you know you have the power over it. It only gains power when you let them conquer you.


Start again. From your first day. Find a more productive outlet - sports, friends, church, family bonding, etc. Something productive.

Cob

I don't see where Mammy ever said she went back and drank again this time...so for her to start again would be like taking a shower after she took a shower...It seems as if you read her post differently than what I did. If you read her post she stated that "once before" she had accomplished a 20 day stretch and then relapsed...she did not state that she had relapsed this 20 day stretch...IMHO ;?)

Maybe it needs a little clarification but that's the way I read it...that she had some thoughts about drinking but had not acted on them.

Cob

justhadenough

Congrats,

It's a great achievement.

Day 11 for me and I understand what you mean about the cravings-I'm finding it slightly harder now I'm feeling better than in the early days when I felt horrendous.

I just keep reminding myself how awful I felt whilst drinking and the next morning and think of bad things I did to stop myself from having just one and the rest. Also, I mentally switch off and physically do something different which seems to take my mind off it. good luck.

Tigger41

You're doing GREAT!!

Yes - I remember day 19 being super hard - but then it backed off again. I'm now at Day 72 and it's so much easier. I felt like I got over some kind of hill. Hang in there it will get easier. The first 90 days are tough -

Hugs to the boys.

IndaMiricale

Fantastic and keep doing what your doing.

Day 20 sweetness, keep coming around and get learning to get more and more tools in your tool box of sobriety to use when those cravings come .

Good love, Inda

Dee74

Congratulations Mammy

D

nel68

Congratulations on 20 days!! That is such a fantastic achievement! I'm on day 13 since the first day to help with cravings, what I have incorporated into my life is journaling, exercise bike, walking, and reading more and of course getting on SoberRecovery board!!! Good job! Keep up the good work!

Mammyof3boys

Thanks Cob. And you are right, I did not drink. I just thought alot about it. thank you for sharing too. 2 years + is inspirational. Day 22 and counting here. Giants are playing today but I will enjoy my seltzer.

Cob

Hello Mammy...here's to hoping that your at day 24 and still going. I am so impressed by you and have such a great amount of hope that you can and will make it another day. Wow...just look back at all those days that have already been lived sober...there are literally thousands of days that you've actually been sober and adding one more in a row is very worthwhile...you can do it. I know I like to also count all those days that I was sober while I was still in my drinking days as at least maturing some. I'd have over a decade if I could count it that way...but I know we can't...lol, it's no big deal...one day sober is better than a thousand days not sober...I know, I lived through those thousand days "not" sober and they got worse each day...Love to you and yours.

Cob