flamingredhair

Just got off the phone with a friend who is attending post-out-patient treatment with me. Neither of us feels we are getting anything from it. It is not being conducted in the way that it was presented to us.

Every week we open with short statements about how we are feeling emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Then we read aloud our homework assignments from the week before. These assignments vary weekly but are all along the lines of: Attending 2-4 meetings per week, working on family relationships, etc.

We're there for an hour and a half and end up with maybe ten minutes left to discuss any personal issues that might be bothering us. My friend had a terrible week with family issues the week before last and when we went in for class the following Thursday the counselor didn't even ask if things had improved and my friend decided that she must not be interested so she just clammed up and said nothing.

Also, last week I was chastised for not being able to state that I have a higher power. The counselor is a huge believer in AA and pushes her beliefs that if we aren't doing AA and not accepting a higher power then we aren't going to make it. AND she seems to write us off at that point and engages only with those who think like she does.

It's very frustrating.

Terminally Unique

Rehab, with very few exceptions, is just an astronomically expensive introduction to AA, and not even a complete introduction at that.

flamingredhair

Very good point, TU.

I am going to meetings, about twice a week but apparently that's not enough to satisfy the counselor.

One would think that early in our sobriety it would be beneficial for us to be able to share our experiences from week to week rather than dry-reading our homework assignments, which are given on a one-size-fits-all basis.

I'm very disappointed.

Innerchild

I come to the realization unless you have money to afford therapy or really good insurance you are pretty much screwed. I was shocked at me being in hospital and finding out that the nurses ignored you and and there was no offering of inpatient therapy. You were upset or angry they pumped you with more drugs. I cried hystercially for over two hours in bed one day while in hospital nurses walked past my room and ignored me. Now for those of us who have underlying issues why we drink you would think that for us to get better we should be given better mental health care so we can cope without self medicating.

flamingredhair

Boy, you said it. If I knew Continuing Care was going to be like this I'd have never signed up. I do have insurance but they aren't footing the whole bill and it seems a waste if I'm not getting anything out of it.

aasharon90

To be honest, I dont recall those early
day by day events in those 28 days in
rehab and the 6 week aftercare program.

All I know is, i went thru the motions
because i didnt want to drink or be sent
out of state to a halfway house away
from my little family.

I followed others before me to the best
of my ability absorbing the knowledge of
recovery even if i didnt understand the
lingo.

I held on for dear life going thru the motions
as was suggested to me until things began
to make some sort of sense.

Eventually i began to understand living and
incorperating the steps and principles in my
everyday life learning to live sober day by day.

Each day sober eventually turned into months
then years. Now its 21 yrs.

I didnt look beyond that single day I was sober
and kept applying what i did that day to the next.

Recovery is a journey. And im still on it anxiously
awaiting to see what new thing is in store for me
around the corner. All I have to do is continue to
live an honest sober life sharing my own experiences,
strengths and hopes of what it was like before, during
and after my drinking career.

And that is what right now to stay sober one more
day.

So can you.

As a added note, i don't regret one moment
i had in rehab or aftercare, because it was
the beginning foundation for a strong solid
recovery program for me to live upon.

What and awesome gift my family gave me
with their intervention that utlimately saved
my life.

For that im truely grateful and no one
can ever take that away from me.

flamingredhair

I get what you're saying, aasharon90, but shouldn't we be getting something from the program while we are there? Shouldn't we feel that it's helping us to stay sober? If someone is having trouble staying sober for one reason or another they should be able to talk about it. The rigidity of how things are presented leaves little time for anyone with special needs. We can't be a community if all we are doing is going through the motions and community - to me anyway - has been the BEST part of treatment and what keeps me going every day.

In aftercare there doesn't seem to be room for "community."

Zebra1275

Rehab, with very few exceptions, is just an astronomically expensive introduction to AA, and not even a complete introduction at that.

I totally agree.

PaperDolls

TU has a point, especially about it not being a complete introduction.

Here's the deal though ..... some rehabs/treatment centers/after-care are better than others. It's just a fact.

Here's another fact. People will always have an opinion on what YOU should do for YOUR recovery. I share with you what I did, because that's my experience. Just because what I did worked for me doesn't mean it's the only right way. YOU have to find what works for you. Do that and continue to stay off the alcohol and you're all good.

If you're not getting your money's worth or what you need from the after-care, there's nothing saying you can't stop it.

langkah

I don't have a high opinion of rehab/treatment centers for several reasons, although I would be a reluctant fan if I saw that they did any good or made the least bit of difference.

Hopefully the food was good.

Going to pass on the sponsor/steps thing this time around?

flamingredhair

Actually, I loved the intensive outpatient part. It's the aftercare that's a letdown. But you gave me some good things to think about, dolls. I've already signed up, insurance has paid their part, so I guess I'll finish it out. Just 5 more weeks to go.

But when I take their little survey at the end of it all I'm going to be honest. I think it would do them well to take a look at the program if people have negative feelings about it; perhaps that might make the powers-that-be take another look at things and make improvements for the future.

aasharon90

Imagine yourself with yrs. of sobriety behind
you....just imagine it, that's all, now you are
one of those councilors in rehab and aftercare
with a group of newbies just getting sober. Ok?

Those newbies are you and me. We are just
28 days sober adding some weeks of aftercare
behind us.

You as a councilor are a recoverying alcoholic
or addict. You will be helping those newbies
with the knowledge of ur own experiences,
strengths and hopes of ur own addiction. Plus
yrs of understanding the affects of alcohol and
drugs in peoples bodies.

Anyway.....

As a newbie, i couldnt understand what those
councilors meant half the time because I didnt
have the experience and time being sober as long
as they have. If you had the knowledge they had
when the newbie arrived, ud be sharing that
knowledge with them too, knowing good and well
they wouldnt beable to comprehend what u r saying.
Right?

It took a long time drinking and learning the
alcoholic behavior. Now it will take time to learn
the recovery behavior with the steps and principles
set down before us to use in our everyday affairs.

Dont be in a hurry to know it all at one time.
There's no way anyone can. Like i said, recovery
is a day by day journey.

flamingredhair

I haven't ruled out AA or the Big Book yet. I'm giving it time, trying different meetings. But I'm not going to jump into the fire and choose a sponsor just so I can say that I have one either.

aasharon90

They asked me to get 3 sponsors which i
was extremely scared to do. But I managed
to ask 2 mainly because it is a way to ask
for what I need. "I need help" is extremely
hard for many people to ask for. It's to
get in the "habit of" doing, so when its time
you or I need help in an emergency, like
wanting to drink, it wont be hard to ask for
that help.

I got my sponsor, but i didnt follow her around
like a puppy dog. I followed her actions in recovery
because she was one of those "winners" who learned
to stay sober by following her own sponsor.

For me, i use the fellowship as a whole as my
sponsors. Following many before me who have
managed to stay sober a many one days at a time.

Anna

I'm sorry you're not getting anything out of it, FRH.

Maybe you can do some journalling on your own which will help you to work through some of your issues?

flamingredhair

I don't necessarily have issues per se, but if anyone does we're used to airing them out in our small group setting. We still have the small group setting but we aren't given time to share. We just stick to the week's assignment. That doesn't do much for us as a community.

augustwest

i didn't get much out of my after-care program either. i almost quit going, but decided to stick it out so that at least i could learn how to follow through on commitments, which i never really did while using.

coincidentally, the only time i've gotten lasting recovery(2 years and counting) was without the use of a treatment center at all. i've been in treatment 3 times, and this time i just went to NA and AA.

My first treatment experience was incredibly important because it introduced me to a lot of concepts and also the recovery community. I had no idea about those things until then. my other trips were a colossal waste of money. i just wasn't ready to quit. if i had to do it over again i would've done a medical detox and then straight to the 12 steps. i actually detoxed at home this time, and it was brutal. but i'm grateful for that pain because i don't forget it.

flamingredhair

Whatever works is the right thing to do in my opinion.

augustwest

absolutely it's whatever works. i also believe that when something doesn't work, it's not necessarily an indictment of the system or program. we have to be willing and ready. i claimed that certain methods didn't work for me for years when in reality i was halfassing my way through every bit of it.

flamingredhair

VERY true.