codependency worries
 

Hi, just joined this site because I've been in a relationship for about three months with a woman who's a recovering opiate addict. She's made big life changes, has left behind the people she used with, and has been off drugs about seven months now since a last brief relapse.

I'm starting to feel really close to her and with that has come worry. There's nothing to suggest she might try and manipulate or decieve me but i'm afraid she could still go back to using. She doesn't seem confident she won't, and it's like our whole romance and occasional alcohol use together could just be substituting her addictive tendencies/needs.

At other times it's like she miles away, or she keeps her feelings and thoughts hidden. When I've tried to raise these subjects with her she's cried, worried I'm going to give up on her. At those times it's like my heart just melts and i feel like i'd do anything to reassure her. Then the next day I think about it and wonder if this isn't the kind of stereotypical codependency people often describe. So I'm gaurded, and i feel that gets in the way of really trusting her and getting as close as I'd like.

Has anyone else been in this situation? How can we best work together to create an addiction free life that's healthy, honest and fun?

Welcome Astrosmurf,

I am sorry to hear about your challenges, you might get more support in the friends & family section here: Friends and Family of Substance Abusers - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Then again, some addicts may be able to help you with one side of your question too. Its great that you care enough for her & your relationship that you are seeking help.

Take care & all of the best ~ NB

Thanks NB, all the best.