Unsure where i am at with this....
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 80
Unsure where i am at with this....
Hey all,
I haven't had a drink in over a week. That part has been kind of 'easy' so far. I have had issues with alcohol since i can remember. Being sober on and off is the norm in this house. We have good intentions, just rarely the willpower to back them up.
Anyway, my issue is pills right now. In the grand scheme of things i tell myself it isn't an issue. I'm not addicted or anything.
I have been at my rockbottom, in 2005. I was using coke/speed/ecstasy and i had a dependency on Zopiclone that went into Rohypnol for a while. As well as the above i was drinking anything and everything i could. There was also a bigger issue that i won't go into here. I hit my low and quit the coke etc cold turkey and haven't slipped on that since. The zopiclone was a little harder but it went too and left was the alcohol. From 2005-2007 i drank pretty much every day, gin, vodka, jack, anything. Those years are a blur. I spent 3/4 months totally alone in 2007 and kicked it. Then began drinking 'occasionally' again later that year. I quit again in 2010 and in feb 2011 started again, drinking 3/4 days a week but in my mind nothing as bad as that 2005-2007 time. Then sept i went to weekends. I can never just drink a few, even a bottle of wine, i consider a tease lol.
In the last few years i started taking xanax. At first for actual anxiety. I don't know that it IS an issue because it's not like i'm knocked out on it every day. I do take it some times just to feel good, not for anxiety or anything. I also started taking Percocet last year and now i take it just to feel good. Not both every day. I was getting to where i was taking them when drinking which is one of many reasons i want to quit the drinking. Now here i am wanting to take a percocet because they give me a rush and make me feel more awake for a while before i crash. It's been 2 days i think since i had any. Same with Xanax but i have been drinking Nyquil at night. I got through yesterday without giving in to temptation only to be lay awake at 3 a.m frustrated so i drank nyquil. I figure it's better than Xanax.
I know i need to quit the percocet, i have no medical reason to take them really, they are just always around and available. I am thinking my Xanax issue might not be too bad though. I don't take them every day but they do help me sleep. I know i need them sometimes for actual anxiety.
I just keep telling myself i am okay, no problems here. I've been down low and i am in control of things now but then i think that's what most people feel. Ha.
Thats where i'm at i guess.
I haven't had a drink in over a week. That part has been kind of 'easy' so far. I have had issues with alcohol since i can remember. Being sober on and off is the norm in this house. We have good intentions, just rarely the willpower to back them up.
Anyway, my issue is pills right now. In the grand scheme of things i tell myself it isn't an issue. I'm not addicted or anything.
I have been at my rockbottom, in 2005. I was using coke/speed/ecstasy and i had a dependency on Zopiclone that went into Rohypnol for a while. As well as the above i was drinking anything and everything i could. There was also a bigger issue that i won't go into here. I hit my low and quit the coke etc cold turkey and haven't slipped on that since. The zopiclone was a little harder but it went too and left was the alcohol. From 2005-2007 i drank pretty much every day, gin, vodka, jack, anything. Those years are a blur. I spent 3/4 months totally alone in 2007 and kicked it. Then began drinking 'occasionally' again later that year. I quit again in 2010 and in feb 2011 started again, drinking 3/4 days a week but in my mind nothing as bad as that 2005-2007 time. Then sept i went to weekends. I can never just drink a few, even a bottle of wine, i consider a tease lol.
In the last few years i started taking xanax. At first for actual anxiety. I don't know that it IS an issue because it's not like i'm knocked out on it every day. I do take it some times just to feel good, not for anxiety or anything. I also started taking Percocet last year and now i take it just to feel good. Not both every day. I was getting to where i was taking them when drinking which is one of many reasons i want to quit the drinking. Now here i am wanting to take a percocet because they give me a rush and make me feel more awake for a while before i crash. It's been 2 days i think since i had any. Same with Xanax but i have been drinking Nyquil at night. I got through yesterday without giving in to temptation only to be lay awake at 3 a.m frustrated so i drank nyquil. I figure it's better than Xanax.
I know i need to quit the percocet, i have no medical reason to take them really, they are just always around and available. I am thinking my Xanax issue might not be too bad though. I don't take them every day but they do help me sleep. I know i need them sometimes for actual anxiety.
I just keep telling myself i am okay, no problems here. I've been down low and i am in control of things now but then i think that's what most people feel. Ha.
Thats where i'm at i guess.
to SRMember
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 80
Thanks.
I haven't discussed it with a Doctor. I haven't been to a Doctor in quite a while because i don't have insurance.
So far, i puked for 2 days at the start of the month but wasn't sure if it was a virus or not. It takes hours to get to sleep without something to knock me out and i am a little on edge but i think i am doing okay so unless things get crazy i wasn't planning to involve a Doctor.
I haven't discussed it with a Doctor. I haven't been to a Doctor in quite a while because i don't have insurance.
So far, i puked for 2 days at the start of the month but wasn't sure if it was a virus or not. It takes hours to get to sleep without something to knock me out and i am a little on edge but i think i am doing okay so unless things get crazy i wasn't planning to involve a Doctor.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: South Dakota
Posts: 1,061
You might want to consider checking out free clinics or possibly the Salvation Army, they can sometimes provide help if you can't afford going to the doctor. Detox is a dangerous business please seek professional help with it.
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Join Date: Apr 2010
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Welcome to the forum, tgif!
Sounds like you have a lot to sort out...... Staying off the alcohol is a great first step (though I'm thinking NyQuil has alcohol in it - ?). Do you plan to get rid of the other drugs, too? A lot of us feel like we have things under control until we don't.
Lots of support here.... glad you've joined us!
Sounds like you have a lot to sort out...... Staying off the alcohol is a great first step (though I'm thinking NyQuil has alcohol in it - ?). Do you plan to get rid of the other drugs, too? A lot of us feel like we have things under control until we don't.
Lots of support here.... glad you've joined us!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 80
Ha, yes i believe nyquil has alcohol, oops.
I haven't taken anything today. I would prefer to get off them completely but i do think there are times that the Xanax helps me with anxiety/social awkwardness, so i just need to stop taking it for the sake of taking it and try to only take it when i really need it. if that even makes sense.
Thank you everyone.
I haven't taken anything today. I would prefer to get off them completely but i do think there are times that the Xanax helps me with anxiety/social awkwardness, so i just need to stop taking it for the sake of taking it and try to only take it when i really need it. if that even makes sense.
Thank you everyone.
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