Itchy

Thank you W.

Pigtails

I agree with this. AA is not for everyone. Nor is it the only program of recovery. I am newish to AA but it is the one thing that has helped me stay sober for 66 days and counting. There are things about it that are strange, and it creeped me out at first, but, I love the people there, and the feeling of unconditional support and understanding, so, I am sticking with what works for me. If you don't feel you are supported or understood, then perhaps it's time for something else? I know there are other recovery groups besides AA although they do seem harder to find. The most important thing is that you stay sober. Best wishes.

Pigtails

Nobody has to put anything in the basket. Sometimes I put nothing, sometimes I put a dollar, sometimes I put in the spare change from my car. No one has ever looked at me funny or said a word about it. Just like I don't pay attention to what other people put in the basket-- it is not my place. I have noticed sometimes people pass it, sometimes they put money in, sometimes they put their DWI signature pages in there and that's it. Nobody has ever cared as far as I know. (shrug). The important thing is that the person is there, willing and wanting to get help.

I personally think you are making a bigger deal out of the collection basket than it really is. Sure, donations are needed to pay the rent of the buildings and they don't want to take money from outside sources because they want to remain independent. What is wrong with that? I think it is a good policy and what you describe in your post is nothing like "pushing" people for money... I really think it is something you are imagining. Just my opinion. Please try not to let the little things get in the way of your happiness! Best wishes.

Pigtails

Exactly. No one requires anyone to make sandwiches or put money into the basket (at least, not at any AA meeting I have been to, and not even according to your own posts... these are just things you choose to do, it sounds like. If you feel resentful about these things, just stop doing them, and keep working on yourself. Keep your focus on yourself and not on what bothers you about the program, especially when you seem to be going over and above what is required or even requested, so it's kind of like you're inventing things to be mad about? Cut out the small stuff and focus on the overall picture. If AA has helped you stay sober, and if it has benefits, keep it up, and get rid of the stuff that makes you mad (stop making sandwiches and temporarily stop donating money-- it sounds like you've contributed more than your share!) If you can, try to stop being mad about people's reactions to your HP because it is *your* HP and you have the right to any HP you want to have, and no one can change that. Just be confident in your desire to look at your own issues and work on yourself. Best wishes.

onlythetruth

Just musing here.

If Americat had written with the strong misgivings about a non-12-step recovery approach, would the reaction be the same? Would people be more willing to accept that an approach just wasn't right for Americat if he'd been having problems with SMART Recovery? Or Rational Recovery?

PaperDolls

The answer is yes - as long as the misgivings were not the norm as in this case.

Edit: Not even "Not the norm". Totally NOT AA.

look4billw

I’m very fond of AA & the big book, and the way it is written, but sometimes the meaning translates somewhat differently when I express how I understand it.
This is how I would paraphrase some of my early understanding of the program.

The AA preamble
The only requirement is a desire to stop drinking.
If I have this desire I’m completely qualified to participate in the program.
There are no dues are fees for AA membership.
There is no financial obligations to participate in the program for me as member.
Our primary purpose, stay sober, help others.
When I set off onto the path of sobriety, I attempt to find a way to live without drinking, and to share the results of my attempt with others in the program, just as they share with me.

The twelve steps of AA
We admitted we were powerless over alcohol.
It does not say that this was documented, or revealed to another living person. This is an admission I made to myself, a conversation between my head and my heart.
Belief in a power greater than ourselves could guide us.
In myself centered universe I can’t come up with the answers at this time. I believe that there is a resolution to the conflict and turmoil in my life somewhere.
Decided to turn my life over to God as I understand him.
I had to take the next step in understanding my concept of God. My self centered demands on my God have not worked. The insanity in my life is a result of my self will run riot. I will follow the path of my God as I understand God, I will no longer ask God to follow me.

onlythetruth

I don't get your meaning. Could you maybe explain your thought a different way?

Dee74

Reading this thread, I don't see anything but a strong community desire for Americat to achieve the best possible outcome for his or herself, whatever that might be.

I'd like to see that keep going.
If anyone has personal discussions to pursue I think PM is the right medium for that.

D

PaperDolls

Edit: I'll send OTT a PM. Thanks Dee!

fuzzy1

Hey, but you're sober since september aren't you? Something must be working then.

EmeraldRose

It seems like you are trying hard but also sounds like you need a new group. That donation bit bothers me. I never gave more than a dollar or two. $5 at the mostest.
Last February I started AA, didn't have a sponser, 'donated' maybe $20 tops over time and will be a year sober at months' end. I don't know what they are telling you -but recovery comes from within you.

onlythetruth

Itchy, I have got to say, that was some rockin' post.

Americat, what Dee said is true: we all do want you to recover and I know that all of us support you in doing what is best for you.

FWIW, although I am not a fan of AA, I too will state for the record that I absolutely never saw the kind of financial expectation you're describing at any of the many AA meetings I've attended. I am not saying you haven't experienced it, but unlike the other matters you've brought up, all of which I've seen, I haven't ever seen anyone pressured to put more than a buck or two in the basket.

NewBeginning010

I put what I felt comfortable with at the time ($1 to $10... usually closer to $2). I used to spend upwards of $500 on my binge nights, think of the movie Barfly but in high end clubs & lounges/restaurants. Could of bought a new house with the money wasted on buying myself & everyone around poison, so glad that is over ;-)

neferkamichael

SR is an important reason I got a 18 month AA chip tonite. Oh, and by the way, I'm 4 months off crack to. Americat, we are all on your side.

Itchy

Thanks OTT.