quitforme79

I was your twin that nite nickm, except in a different location. Scary stuff but it doesn;t have to happen again if we just don't drink and get the help we need. Hang in there...I'm pulling for you. Glad to see you here at SR

RoundtheWagons

Almost the same here too, except mine was starting the year off. Could have ended up very bad for me, if not for a kind forgiving person.

Never thought I'd actually attend AA. I'm scared enough now...been going since last Tuesday. I'm not totally sold on it as the answer yet, but it's a much better answer than I've been able to come up with for myself.

Personally if you think you're ready to give AA a shot, go for it, don't worry what anyone else thinks.

1undone

Hi Nick, I haven't told anyone I go to AA other than my spouse. It's my own personal choice and same goes for books I read and this forum. The last thing I need is for a family member to try and talk me out of thinking I'm an alcoholic. I can do that very well on my own.

As you get older you check things out and do what works for you. Your health and well being come first and just because someone gives birth to you or raises you doesn't mean they know you fully.

Also if you are an alcoholic, you lie about your use and cover up your pain like a pro, so expecting someone else's opinion about what you should do about your use isn't fair. They don't really have the full picture - only you do.

I hope you are safe and not using tonight. I will be thinking about you. Be safe.

nickm

Thank you to everyone for the kind words. Today is my only my 2nd day since my horrible night but I am already feeling much better. The encouragement and empathy you all express is definitely helpful to me. I am already feeling much more confident about my problem and my resolve to finally give up alcohol completely. I do not think AA is in the cards for me yet as I am going to give that a week or two and see where I stand. My biggest fear at this moment is the isolation and loneliness pulling me back into these binges. I will be spending a lot of time with my friends who are non drinkers.

As a side note I did speak to my father again today about my drinking and he was much more perceptive to the fact it was causing me pain. After I had explained what was happening he had a lot of advice similar to the types of things I read from all of you here on SR. I was unaware that when he was my age he struggled with drinking in much of the same way I am now. He did point out many scenarios/situations exactly like the ones I have experienced and how he worked his way out of that behavior and lifestyle. He is still a drinker and I think that is where we will differ. But where my father wanted to only control his behavior and consumption I am looking to completely give it up.

jocata

Hey nick, I did some pretty crazy stuff while drinking and drugging too. It got to the point where I blacked out almost everytime I started drinking. I hated the next morning and having to listen to my friends recount the nights events. Shame and humiliation became almost constant feelings for me. To get rid of that, I would just drink more the next day. Horrible cycle.

It doesn't have to be that way for you anymore. If you think you are an alcoholic, that's all that matters. Only you can decide if you are one. Only you can do something about it.

God bless.