Surlyredhead

.....The moment you begin to resent a person, you become their slave. They control your dreams, absorb your digestion, rob you of your peace of mind and good will and take away the pleasure of your work. They ruin your religion and nullify your prayers. You can't take a vacation without them comming along!
.....They destroy your freedom of mind and hound you where ever you go. There is no way to escape the person you resent. They are with you when you are awake: they invade your privacy when you sleep. They are close beside you when you eat, when you drive your car, and when you are on the job.
.....You can never have efficiency nor happiness. They influence even the tone of your voice. They require you to take medicine for your indigestion, headaches and loss of energy. They even steal the last moment of consciousness before you go to sleep.
.....So if you want to be a slave, harbor your resentments!!

WantToHeal

Words to live by...a person much wiser than me once told me that resentment was like letting someone live rent-free inside your head.

least

like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die...

Gettingstarted

YES - more good isms for my journaling. Love it. Plan to work on this with co-workers and dh.

1undone

I like the saying, "an expectation is a resentment waiting to happen."

Gettingstarted

And anotherbone for me to add! Keep em coming.

Sapling

It's like burning down your house to kill a mouse.

CaiHong

So true Surlyhead,

How do you deal with resentments?

CaiHong

MentalLoop

This is my last bastion....my downfall. The good news is that I get it, and for most people I have been able in the last month sober to catch the emotion and stop them. I have one real road block left: my mom. I am trying everything I can to just slow down my harbored anger and resentment and I just cant do it. She isn't renting space in my head, she owns a three thousand square foot condo in my head. I have issues from cheating on my dad, to dressing hugely innappropriately as a teacher at my kids school, to abondoning her father who is very old and quite ill. She treats everybody around her as sub ordinate human beings, my wife included. She is a habitual liar. I just don't have the tools to cope. Somebody once told me that part of the ammends process is forgiveness of the person you are making ammends with.....I.e. I'm ok with it/you. It is not for me to judge. But she's my mom and I just cant let it go. Help!!!!!

Surlyredhead

...Sometimes it is hard, but I tell myself that I have no control over other people, places or situations.
...I sometimes have to ask myself if the "offending" person is thinking about me, the answer is usually no, so by letting them rule my thoughts, they are "winning", it is easier to let it go.
...Sometimes, I feel sorry for people who are so miserable in their own life that they take it out on others...that helps me not to carry them with me.
...If I run into someone who I have hurt while drinking and they blast me, I say I am sorry and mean it, sometimes they accept my apology, sometimes they don't, I have to suck it up and understand they have a right to their feelings.
...Mostly, I have had to learn to let go, accept the fact that I can't please everyone, or that there are people who are hateful for reasons I had nothing to do with.....that there are things in my life that never should have happened to me, as a child and growing up, but it doesn't define who I am....
....It is a learning process, to let go of anger, a learned behavior.....and even now, I sometimes let go, only to take it back and have to let it go again, I put out into the world what I want to get back!
..I am still learning and trying to get it right!!!


Cathy

06yz125

I like how you said its a learning process.

Its difficult to just quit being resentful. Its a process
and takes time. Every time I feel angry or resentful..
I say the serenity prayer. It helps calm me.

Thanks

jocata

For me letting go of a particular resentment requires me to pray for that person for two weeks. The Big Book tells me to look at them as a sick person. It's definately a whole lot easier said than done.

Mental Loop, I have issues with my mom as well, and I have yet to figure out what it is exactly.

God bless.

TCB5568

Inspiring, insightful. Thanks I needed that info today.