LiveLikeGold6

How many times should you try out a meeting before deciding that its your home group?

jocata

I'm getting ready to pick a home group as well. For me it just comes down to a comfort thing. It's one that I've gotten to know people and they have gotten to know me. It also has to be one that I will not miss unless myself or a family member is in the er.

Good luck and God bless.

ClosetAlchie

I think that's a great question! I'm just starting AA so I'd be interested to hear opinions as well.

EricL

once. Its much more important for me to simply have a group I am accountable to and active in, than it is to have the "right" home group.

Find a group, get involved. Out of experience, I would seek a big book study group, or a step study group as these tend to be solution oriented.

Remember, you can ALWAYS change homegroups. And, in the scheme of things, this is much less important than finding a recovered drunk to take you through the book and the work.

So, if you were a new drunk I met in a meeting, I'd suggest (we) get to work on the book and steps, and then look at suggesting a group to check out.

24HMission

I also have the same question! Also, does your sponsor have to belong to the same homegroup? Can you have a sponsor on AA but have an NA homegroup? My rehab treatment takes us to different AA and NA meetings so i have a few to choose from. However, I already got a sponsor and he is on AA. I kinda identify a little bit more with NA terminology since in my case I feel my problem is addiction and not alcohol itself.

camedown

Finding someone to work with is the key thing. I would also suggest a regular schedule of meetings. I have a specific meeting I go to three days a week, three other days I leave open to check out different meetings, and Mondays I don't do a meeting because of work. Witht he regular meetings, I feel accountable to the people there, wich keeps me in balance. Eventually, I decided on one as a homegroup.

EricL

There are no "rules" to this. Although... some sponsorship "lines" are heavy on "suggestions".

Currently, my sponsor and I, and one of my sponsees share a homegroup. However, this is definitely not expected, I just really like and believe in the message of our group.

I don't have any experience with an AA sponsor but only going to NA. I know for me, all I can share is my experience, and that experience has taken place in the context of AA. I work with guys in that framework (AA big book, etc). I do not give advice (and would steer clear of people who really like to do so), instead I share my experience.

karilynn27

I joined mine after 4 meetings. There are so many different people there but every one of then can relate to me.
Plus if it doesn't work out I can try a different one.
Tomorrow is day 10 so I'm going to bed sober tonight and then will work on tomorrow.

IndaMiricale

I am far from a expert but for all that asked, if you liked the meeting alot that you were at and know you can attend it almost always then make it your home.

Remember you always can move if you choose just like life.

And the biggy is after you sign up for a home group GET ACTIVE and have FUN in sobriety.

Good love and welcome you new people to a awesome ride.

Inda

keithj

In any home group, I can get active and have fun. Those aren't the message I needed to hear when first getting sober. I needed a message about my problem and my solution. I needed to consistently hear about powerlessness and a spiritual awakening, and how to get from one to the other.

I've found it very useful to have guys I sponsor in the same home group. I see them
more often, and we can share a consistent message. There are probably 10 guys in that group (and a handful of solid) women, that I would happy to have as a sponsor, or that I would be happy to have sponsor a guy I'm working with if it doesn't work out. The group, in some sense, becomes a single voice sponsor because everybody in the group is on the same page in AA.

Getting a home group and getting involved with it as soon as possible is a great suggestion. But I would suggest being a little discriminating in what that home group is all about. Do they focus on an AA message, or is it more of a social club? Do they hold a regular group conscience? Are they involved in reaching out to jails, treatment, etc? Is the group actively engaged in sponsorship? Is the group represented at all levels of service?

desertsong

The first group I visited became my home group because the people were just awesome and I felt comfortable with them. They welcomed me with open arms and made themselves available any time I needed them, plus we have some really funny people in the group who help things from getting too serious sometimes. I feel so at home there and can't wait to go to my meetings every day.

I also started going to a weekly women's group last week in addition to my home group and that one is also fantastic. My home group is co-ed, and that is great, but being able to be in a fellowship of women is also wonderful. They are such a lovely group and very inspirational. Several of the women have 20+ years of sobriety (one just celebrated 26 years yesterday) and they are real role models for me. After meetings, we all go out to breakfast and have fun together and it's been a great place to develop friendships with SOBER people.

I would say to just choose whatever group makes you feel most at home and most comfortable. Are there people there that you feel comfortable calling 24/7? Do you feel comfortable sharing with them? Are they welcoming and encouraging or are they preachy and judgmental (I've heard of a couple of groups like that around here). Is the "personality" of the group something you feel you fit into?

sugarbear1

My home group was the one meeting I attended regularly, in fact, I haven't missed one meeting since their first meeting in June. It's a big book study. I like this meeting better than the "discussion" meetings where people show just to be seen.

It's more important to work the steps with a sponsor, in my opinion.

Sugah

My first home group was assigned to me. I didn't know anything about home groups, and there were only two groups in my town, neither of which had regular group conscience meetings or trusted servants. One woman kept the treasury for both. Anyone who felt like it chaired, rarely with a prepared topic. I heard someone mention a "district meeting," and I asked what it was. That's when I became the group's first GSR in quite a few years.

My current home group is one that, like Keith has suggested, delivers a strong AA message, has a slate of trusted servants, takes care of disseminating public information to the relevant community folks and offices, collects contributions for literature to take to the county jail, and has regular two-way contact with district- and area-level service. Every home group member has a sponsor and most are sponsors themselves, including a young man who recently recognized his nine-month milestone. It's a great place for newcomers to get a start in service. The aforementioned young man has been opening our satellite meeting for the past two months.

I would suggest looking for groups more like my current home group than my first home group if you're new. If you ask questions of the group's members the first time you visit and the answers indicate this might be a group for you, how about asking if you can sit in on their group conscience meeting? And remember, you can change home groups if you find your first choice isn't working.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

aasharon90

I went to so many meetings the first 7
yrs, all at different places and times. I
had a hard time committing because
for so long id committ to stop drinking
and failed so many times.

I understood about having a home group
and being a part of something and having
responsiblities and duties in that homegroup
but i still couldnt commit. I suppose being
and at home mom, my responsibilities at
home were important as well as staying sober.

I did the best I could finding that balance
in going to many meetings i needed to stay
sober and my reponsinlities as a wife and mom.

My sponsor was there for me if i needed her
but very seldom did we end up at the same
meetings due to where we both lived and her
job and marriage.

Everyone works a program to fit their life styles.

Single members seemed to be freer to move
about easier than married members depending
on responsibilities.

At 30 yrs old with 2 small kids and a marriage
i went to my meetings regularly making sure
my recovery was that important to me so that
I could have the joy and rewards of my little family.

Without sobriety I wouldnt have anything else.
Not even my life.

40percentproof

I consider a home group as the first one I went to as its nice to go back and see people again and to let them know i'm ok.

Without them and how they made me feel I would never have gone back.

Mark75

I chose my home group pretty quickly... I could relate well to the people there, they had a strong spiritual message and I looked forward to attending. I wanted to go back... some meetings I went to, I didn't feel that way.

I don't see it as a decision that has to be made immediately and you can always change.