Who am i rebeling against?!
....sometimes i feel like im wasting everyones time here. i come here, talk about how ****** i feel, then talk about how great i feel, them come back here again like now, and talk about how ****** i feel because i gave in again.
in the ten days since i quit drinking again, i was eating good, and since my last post about my headaches i havent been smoking, and actually feeling good about myself.... then today, i dont know what happened, i woke up feeling so much hatred and lack of self worth for myself. kinda like 'who do you think you are?" kinda thing.
i just pigged out all day on crappy food, smoked like crazy, and had some drinks. i let my negetive thoughts consume me, and gave in to them.
because of how ****** i feel right now, i KNOW and feel in my heart i will be better tomorrow, and try harder..... and i know you all dont know me personally, but i feel like because i constantly come here with my 'cycles' that im a broken record and keep constantly letting the SR community down, like i shouldnt post here anymore.
You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.
- Eleanor Roosevelt