Tony88

Well folks I've posted on here a few times in the past, some of you may know I'm in a struggle. I've tried to slow down recently but it hasn't helped much. This past week I took a fall and really messed up my shoulder, non drunk related FYI. I went to the doc and no broken bones but there scheduling a MRI, they think it might be a rotator cuff injury and I have little movement in my right arm/shoulder.

This week has been hell dealing with this injury!

I'm not trying to beach but this past year has sucked for me for many reasons, losing a job, finding a new one then dealing with layoffs. Ive got behind on rent and with the lack of money also trying to support my drinking career. I've totally screwed my credit with slacking paying the cards so I could buy beer.

Well this evening the landlord said he's done with me and I need to be out by the end of the month. The problem is that I have no where to go after the end of the month and no where to take all my stuff I've acquired over the past three years.

I'm 23 years old and have been this way for almost three years drinking daily, I've posted in the past that I've reached out to my brother but he blew my problem off. Honestly it's sad what I've become.... A 23 year old drunk sitting alone in my house on a friday night and it's days are numbered.

I'm on the verge of not giving a **** anymore! My credit is screwed, I'm behind on my truck payment, I'm losing my place to live and no where to go. I've sold many toys and things that made me happy to buy booze and I lost a woman because of it.

If I'm not hitting rock bottom I don't know what else is.

BigBluef250

might want to look into the renters laws in your state. Eviction is not an easy process.

Inca

Hmm, sounds like you are in a tough spot. Do you have insurance? Would you be able to check into a 28 day inpatient program at the end of the month? Sounds like you have a lot of loose ends to clean up but first you have to get yourself back on two feet and stop drinking. From what you have described, it seems you know that the drinking has been causing a lot of the financial and personal problems you are having. Acknowledging that it is a problem is the first step. Now you'll need to take some constructive action.

I've done a couple of stints in both inpatient and outpatient programs and I loved the support and basics I learned to start building a new life. Maybe it's an option to consider.

Tony88

I know drinking has cause hell for me. I have insurance but not sure about the inpatient or outpatient thing. Honestly I need to work so i don't think inpatient thing would work. Part of my problem and don't flame me but I have a hard problem admitting who I've become. My mom is a rehab nurse and deals with addiction everyday and she's understands it but I'm not sure how she'd feel about her son admitting addiction.

Tony88

First off thanks for your post! What I wanna know about AA is it religious?

Second about my mom.... Were close but have never shared details about our lives if that makes sense. She never told me about the birds and bees if you catch my drift, she's familiar with addiction but I think it would be a shock to her if she knew the truth about me, her son.

Inca

I really didn't want to go to treatment either. I had to work and it was a terrible time to take a leave. I finally realized that yes, it was terrible timing, but I was making excuses and this was my LIFE I was dealing with. I had to tell myself that nothing was more important than getting my health and my life in order, or I wasn't going to be around to work much longer anyways.

As far as telling your mom about the addiction, I was nervous about telling my parents too but they were more than supportive. They knew I needed help long before I did and were thrilled when I finally came to the realization that it was time to do something about it. Just my experience, but you might be pleasantly surprised.

karilynn27

As a mother myself it sounds like you love her and she loves you. I'm only 9 days sober so just a baby there. AA meetings work. I think you'll find "religion" is not what it's about.
Mom may know more than you think and we love nothing better than to help our children make positive changes. She has a lot of knowledge and I'm sure she will handle it fine and be supportive.
Good luck and don't give up

Tony88

I'll tell you what, I'd hate to tell my mom but in the end I know she would much rather have her son around. I just have to figure out how to approach her

Dee74

I'm not in the states so I don;t know anything about housing there, Tony, but maybe opening up to your mum might be a good step forward on a few fronts?

I wish you the best in find a new place, and in finding the help and support you need

I hope you'll keep posting here regularly too

D

KarrieJay

It's more spiritual than religious, really. AA does talk rather a lot about a "Higher Power", and some people refer to that Higher Power as "God", but not everyone does. It's open to interpretation and there is no religious indoctrination. Each person is left to decide for themselves what their Higher Power might be and for me, the it's the strength I get from the support of other recovering alcoholics.

Both myself and my husband are active members of AA and its been essential to our recovery. Neither of us are religious. We don't believe in God or a creator and can't identify with that concept. But we are still AA members and I know for a certain fact that without AA, we would never have gotten sober.

Give it a try. What have you got to lose, apart from all the s**t that's happening now? Don't let the "God" stuff put you off. And if AA is not for you, there are other recovery programs that you might find more helpful. But do look into getting some help from a recovery program. It's incredibly difficult to gain sobriety without that help. I found it impossible.

camedown

Give AA a try. I'm not a religious person either, but I have found the program invaluable, and plan on making it a permanent part of my life. As they say, try it for six months, if your not satisfied, they will refund your misery. Good luck man.

bostonluv

AA meetings keep me sane now and I find them incredibly comforting but it took quite awhile for me to get used to. I just got out of rehab (sliding scale, county) and I loved it. Not every minute of it but overall it helped me so much. With some things I am dealing with right now if I hadn't gone to rehab or had AA meetings to go to I would probably be drunk. Your post like other posts on here remind me of the misery of addiction and help keep me sober. Thank you.

jocata

Let your mom know, she just may help you if you are sincere and honest with her.

AA has been a very important part of my sobriety. I was an atheist before I started attending meetings. It has turned my life around. Give it a try.

God bless.

MentalLoop

How is this advice at all supportive of living an honest life? We are drunks, so let's steal money from the landlord.....better he lose out than me? My sobriety is worth more than an innocent's honest living? I am sorry for being as belligerent as I am, but this really struck a chord with me.

Dee - I promise I will not respond no matter the reply.

keithj

Hi Tony,

When things got bad for me, they got really bad in a hurry. And when they got bad, they stayed bad until I became desperate and willing to do anything to stop drinking. I had already lost a family, house, job, the respect of my family and friends, and was spending a lot of time bouncing in and out of jails in between outpatient and rehab stints. Those were the circumstances of my life surrounding a 'bottom'. But they didn't compare in the least to the mental anguish and hopelessness that I felt. It was that feeling, not the circumstances, that forced me to become willing to do the things I didn't want to do in order to get sober.

Maybe it's worth considering, in your situation, if some of your 'conditions' are worth hanging on to. Getting sober might require that you don't do it on your own terms. When I became desperate to get sober, in spite of the terms, things came together for me through the 12 Steps of AA. That may not be your path. But you may also not get to choose your path. So far, while still drinking and having some unfortunate circumstances in your life, you have reservations about:
1) going to AA if it's religious
2) going to rehab because of work
3) telling your mom because it's embarrassing

Hanging on to your 'terms' or reservations probably doesn't signify a 'bottom' sufficient to do what it takes to get sober. You might want to examine if those reservations are worth keeping.

gaffo

I wish that we drinkers had a switch that could be turned so we would recognize the foolish avoidable hell that we put ourselves through. For whatever reason, I was able to just stop drinking the day before last Halloween. There have certainly been some gruesome stretches in there but they aren't worse than the dread and shame of having an out of control drinking problem. The side effects include a weird fresh and productive feeling in the morning, extra $$$, and some self respect.

I don't personally attend AA meetings but they help me just the same because knowing that they are there if I need them is a big deal. Besides, I live in a tiny community and if I want a meeting I'll head to the grocery store! Seriously, "normal" drinkers and just life in general conspire to keep you falling off the wagon whereas 12 steppers and other "quitters" will help you to take care of yourself.

Above all, if I have learned nothing else about finally getting sober (after 30 years of drinking) it's that it's a good thing. I dreaded it but I was wrong--sobriety is a treat. The good stuff outweighs the bad and it keeps getting better. Anyone who likes you better as a drunk doesn't deserve a place in your life.

Take care of yourself.

Threshold

Here is my first impression of this. First you describe your situation, which is unarguably lousy. Then you give a laundry list of things you can't do, that most likely can address the underlying causes and help you get your life on track.

It sort of sounds like this..."I'm bleeding to death, but I can't call 911, I'm not wearing clean underwear!"

I am not trying to be mean, and I do understand the situation is way more complex, but having gone through it, and still going through it, I strongly suggest you stop coming up with reasons to not help yourself, and start accepting reasons to help yourself.

You still have resources available to you. Your health seems intact, clearly you have good mental capabilities. You have a parent and it sounds like there is a decent relationship there. There are rehab programs, and you even have insurance. If you are inpatient, unless you work for a small business, they can't fire you for taking time off for it. You are young. All that is in your favor.

Use those things.

Seriously, think about what you've said here, your mother works with recovering addicts and you think she'd rather have you kill yourself with booze than admit you are getting into recovery? Moms are made of tough stuff (I am one, three times over) she can handle it.

Fandy

Hi Tony;

your mom is a medical professional, but she's your MOM. no matter what. don't be afraid to approach her and tell her the truth. us mom's always want to see our kids improve and be happy, successful.

you're young and you need help. reach out to family first and I hope you find some relief. yes, you flubbed and drinking has taken over your life...but the silver lining is that you realise it NOW, not when you are 45 and worse.

i'll repeat the detox warnings and again just please talk to mom, ask for help and get yourself together...ODAAT, but you can do this.

sugarbear1

I heard a woman tell her story last night. She got sober at 15. She now has 23 years of sobriety!

You have few choices left. What's your decision? Sobriety or a really crappy life?

Kansas Alcoholics Anonymous

Tony88

I'm not trying to come up with reasons not to help myself, I just don't know where to start. Im the first in my family to end up like this and I'm ashamed of myself.