This is getting so much easier....
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Midwest
Posts: 553
This is getting so much easier....
Just wanted to share an eye opening experience for me. Tonight I went to a bar for the first time since I stopped drinking (day 19) for a birthday party and I had no problem being there sober. I ordered my soda, danced with friends, and actually had conversations and made plans that I know I'll remember tomorrow.
I did have to make it somewhat of an early night because when it started getting crowded, I got annoyed. Other than that, a successful sober night for me and the realization that I CAN STILL HAVE FUN. Yea!!
I did have to make it somewhat of an early night because when it started getting crowded, I got annoyed. Other than that, a successful sober night for me and the realization that I CAN STILL HAVE FUN. Yea!!
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Midwest
Posts: 553
It feels good to actually be useful and help people out doesn't it? It's like there's a whole new world out there that doesn't involve "taking" all the time and sucking the life out of people lol 
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: London, England
Posts: 50
Thanks for your post. It reminded me of what a huge eye-opener it was for me too when I first quit, and how much of a problem having a sober night had been for me before.
Every time I made the decision to quit, the social side of my life was my biggest worry. I always felt confident that I could stop drinking at home, but I was very concerned that I wouldn't enjoy a night out with friends. I worried that I would be dull, that I would find the evening boring and that the other people around me would think I was weird. Those concerns led me to relapse time and time again. It got to the stage where I would stop going out whenever I wanted to quit, but eventually the loneliness and boredom would drive me out again, and sure enough I'd be drinking before the end of the night.
It was a huge problem for me. I knew I needed to quit 'cos the evidence was overwhelming, but I also knew I couldn't do it if it meant facing a life without social interaction. I had to find a way to stop drinking yet still have a social life. So, this time I decided that I was going to quit and I would continue with my social life as normal....just without the alcohol. I made that decision one week before I had to go to a hen party, followed by the wedding a week later, and a month before I had to go away on holiday.
And it was fine! I quickly realised that most people don't care whether I drink or not; it's only a big deal for me. No-one thinks I'm weird; probably they think I'm less weird because I don't end up embarrassing myself. And I discovered that a night out without alcohol is still enjoyable. Different for sure, but still good. I know what I'm doing the whole time for one thing, and I can actually have meaningful conversations with people, rather than drunken ones. And no blackouts - I remember everything the next day. I also wake up feeling refreshed. I used to feel hungover and exhausted after a night out during my drinking days and would feel the effects of one night out for three or four days.
It is different though - but certainly not in a bad way. I find that night's out finish earlier for me as a non-drinker, but that's fine because I properly enjoy the time that I'm there. I was always one of those people who would be the last to leave (why waste drinking time?), but it usually meant that I was still out long after the event was past it's best. I also don't like to be around drunk people too much now, not because it makes me want to drink, but because drunks are pretty boring, so when people start getting drunk that's a signal for me to leave.
But on the whole, I find that nights out are less wild than they used to be, but every bit as enjoyable - more so in some ways, because they have no further impact on my life in the way that they used to. I no longer wake up cringing about what I'd said or done the previous night, or even worse having that nagging feeling something bad had happened, but not being able to remember what. There are no unexplained bruises or other injuries. I haven't upset anyone and I don't feel physically crap. I haven't been arrested or taken a risk by drink driving. The only thing that has happened is that I've had an enjoyable night out.
It all good.
Every time I made the decision to quit, the social side of my life was my biggest worry. I always felt confident that I could stop drinking at home, but I was very concerned that I wouldn't enjoy a night out with friends. I worried that I would be dull, that I would find the evening boring and that the other people around me would think I was weird. Those concerns led me to relapse time and time again. It got to the stage where I would stop going out whenever I wanted to quit, but eventually the loneliness and boredom would drive me out again, and sure enough I'd be drinking before the end of the night.
It was a huge problem for me. I knew I needed to quit 'cos the evidence was overwhelming, but I also knew I couldn't do it if it meant facing a life without social interaction. I had to find a way to stop drinking yet still have a social life. So, this time I decided that I was going to quit and I would continue with my social life as normal....just without the alcohol. I made that decision one week before I had to go to a hen party, followed by the wedding a week later, and a month before I had to go away on holiday.
And it was fine! I quickly realised that most people don't care whether I drink or not; it's only a big deal for me. No-one thinks I'm weird; probably they think I'm less weird because I don't end up embarrassing myself. And I discovered that a night out without alcohol is still enjoyable. Different for sure, but still good. I know what I'm doing the whole time for one thing, and I can actually have meaningful conversations with people, rather than drunken ones. And no blackouts - I remember everything the next day. I also wake up feeling refreshed. I used to feel hungover and exhausted after a night out during my drinking days and would feel the effects of one night out for three or four days.
It is different though - but certainly not in a bad way. I find that night's out finish earlier for me as a non-drinker, but that's fine because I properly enjoy the time that I'm there. I was always one of those people who would be the last to leave (why waste drinking time?), but it usually meant that I was still out long after the event was past it's best. I also don't like to be around drunk people too much now, not because it makes me want to drink, but because drunks are pretty boring, so when people start getting drunk that's a signal for me to leave.
But on the whole, I find that nights out are less wild than they used to be, but every bit as enjoyable - more so in some ways, because they have no further impact on my life in the way that they used to. I no longer wake up cringing about what I'd said or done the previous night, or even worse having that nagging feeling something bad had happened, but not being able to remember what. There are no unexplained bruises or other injuries. I haven't upset anyone and I don't feel physically crap. I haven't been arrested or taken a risk by drink driving. The only thing that has happened is that I've had an enjoyable night out.
It all good.
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
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I don't know...At 19 days sober...The bar was the last place I wanted to be. I felt better getting my social activities at a meeting. That's what I did for contact with people...People that weren't drinking. If it's getting easier and that works for you...More power to you. I know that I can never drink again...For me it easier being around people that feel the same way. If I have to be at a bar for something important...I'll be there. Otherwise forget it. Best of luck to you...I hope it doesn't get too easy.
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Queens, NY
Posts: 267
I have felt the same. Had to do nights out early on, and although different fun, what euphoria I have had knowing I will wake up in the morning feeling great! This novelty may wear out but loving it now.
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Midwest
Posts: 553
Good points everyone. Sapling, I know where you're coming from. I definitely won't be making the bar a weekly habit or seeking out that type of "fun" unless it's a special occasion, like a birthday. I think I have to consider my state of mind that day to anticipate if I'll be ok. A week ago, I wouldn't have been. I think I'm coming to the realization though that I really want this...no reservations. No more hangovers, withdrawals, regrets. That's what excites me, that I'm finally getting to the point where I can enjoy myself and not be pouty, sitting there longing for a drink. I just didn't even want one! Also, after making it through New Years sober, my mind set has improved.
That being said, I do like to be at meetings and spend most of my time with sober people. I wouldn't recommend anyone going out to test the waters at a bar or party and white knuckling it if you are having any reservations at all about drinking. The temptation is just too great.
That being said, I do like to be at meetings and spend most of my time with sober people. I wouldn't recommend anyone going out to test the waters at a bar or party and white knuckling it if you are having any reservations at all about drinking. The temptation is just too great.
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