Hurt,Angry,& Sad
 

Our recovery does come first. I am confused, though. Why would he go to he doctor to get the drug? does he legitimately need it?

Regardless, if it doesn't sit well with you, beating yourself up over putting your recovery first makes no sense. Please, feel proud of yourself. Love yourself. You may just have made one of the best decisions for yourself -- opting for sobriety over a codependent relationship.

Thanks for posting.

He was diagnosed with ADD yrs ago,and adderal is prescribed for this disorder.
However in the past he has taken a 2 month supply in a 2 week period.
He has never been able to take this medication or any other correctly.

Stimulants proved to be my undoing as well... I would hate that too, if I were you, for multiple layers of reasons. Maybe you need to be free of all that BS?

I agree. To thine own self be true, Zorilla. If you love him, set him free, and see how he responds. But for the love of yourself, set him free with no expectations. You have come a long way over the past several months, and your growth is obvious. Protect your sobriety vehemently. That's the decision I had to make.

(((()))) I'm so sorry you are in this situation but you must realize you have made the best decision - putting your recovery first above all else, at any cost. I know that doesn't make it any easier or less painful but you can do this. I am all too familiar with being completely self destructive in the way of cutting, ED's, drugs and alcohol...anything to numb the pain inside. You deserve better than that and I'm glad you had someone to turn to in your time of need. You are in my thoughts. Please take care of you.

-Jess

I just can't hardly believe that he would even consider getting a script for a drug that
made us both psychotic.He is so proud of me and thanks God I am in recovery,yet has the nerve to want to abuse drugs in my house.

Hugs and Prayers coming your way!

thank you Anna.

In this situation, YOU come first. That takes alot of guts. I bet you don't regret your decision in the long term...

Zorilla, I don't live with mine, but he recently returned to drinking after seven months clean. Last week I went over there, he was drunk, and he offered me the very pills that were my undoing and I nearly killed myself on (purposeful suicide attempt) several months ago.

People who use...like to feel justified in using, like to have their buddies use too, like to say "it's no big deal, have a few"

I was hurt, shocked, but mostly sad because I can't be with someone who consistently chooses drugs and booze over a relationship. He says he supports my recovery...ahem?

He says he is going to quit again...someday.

I told him I'm not waiting. I'll spend time with him sober, but I want a relationship. I want someone who wants to be with me...sober, today. Not someone who hypothetically wants to be with me, someday, when booze has entirely f'd up his life again.

It hurts. It just hurts so bad, and I think...why do I have to give up ONE MORE THING? I lost my marriage, home etc due to using, and now...I'm losing my boyfriend to sobriety? Is there something wrong with this picture?

YES. I am not losing my bf to sobriety, I am losing him to using. This time to HIS using. Using is the big thief. No, that's not right. Using is more like a debtor. We mortgage our lives for a fix NOW. Then down the line find out the interest has built up, the debt has come due and we begin to have everything of value taken away from us.

I'm alone tonight. Friday night, hanging out here. He said he's just going to stay home and "relax" tonight, said his tummy hurt. I know this is code for "I'm jonsing for a drink, and it'll tick you off, so I'm going to stay home and get loaded alone."

I hope you'll make the right decision for yourself Zorilla :)

hugs from me too :hug:

D

That was a good move and a very courageous one zorilla. You always have support and love here. Hang in there.

God bless.

Zorilla, seems to me like two people in two different places in life emotionally...it's frustrating and sad. I have personally experienced it and seen others experience it...one person changes, grows, begins to better their life... the other one doesn't. If someone can't or chooses not to walk beside me on the path of life, it's sad....heartbreaking at times even, but it doesn't mean I give up on the journey and stop walking. That I won't do. ever.
Not easy I know. My thoughts are with you.

Sorry - it does suck at times.

Keep putting yourself first - it will be worth it.

Thank you everybody.
So far today I am doing better.

Zorilla....I think you have just done him a favor too. If he's never been able to take meds properly he clearly has a problem. Now his downward spiral has begun. Who knows, maybe it is the kick in the pants he needs. Either way, it is about you this time!